September 1, 2018
Please don't move out.
Banana and garlic sandwich, anyone?
Lunch. Definitely lunch.
Party rock is in the retirement home tonight.
Just throw it in the bag. All of it.
TBH, I still want more seasons of Friday Night Lights.
I'll have a venti...triple...no foam...half-caff...extra hot...
"O Captain, my captain!"
Some of these are so surprising!
Can you get a 4.0 this semester?
Mom tested, mom approved.
"I can and I fucking will."
People Tried To Body Shame Amy Schumer, Tess Holliday, And Ashley Graham But They Weren't Having A Single Ounce Of It
Three times is too damn many.
You're too busy to stress over dinner.
Have you ever seen a movie with Ben Stiller that didn't have Owen Wilson in it?
The savagery is real.
Should you live in Scranton, Pawnee, or Brooklyn?
This is not a joke. BuzzFeed has acquired ultimate cosmic power and the Great Culling is nigh. Take this quiz if you don't want to be turned to dust!
There's plenty of ways to pass the time.
He gets way too much joy out of this.
Utensil rods, shelf dividers, and velvet hangers all maximize space and minimize clutter.
The truth is in the toppings.
"Our scariest president was probably Rushmore, because he had four heads."
Either result is great.
I can't stop crying. We did it, kids.
Light a candle with spaghetti, fold shirts with a box, and open a beer with a lighter.
"We gather to mourn the passing of American greatness — the real thing, not cheap rhetoric from men who'll never come near the sacrifice he gave so willingly."
Let the battle begin.
Are you an In-N-Out person or a White Castle person?
The decision follows news that Argento paid a financial settlement to young actor Jimmy Bennett, who accused her of sexual assault.
"Dunkin' Donuts needs a separate line for people who have their shit together."
Answer These 5 Visual Questions And We'll Recommend A Rom-Com You Probably Haven't Seen Before On Netflix
It's time to think about ~romance.~
AND THE REASON IS YOUUUUUUU!
These choices are gonna be tough.
Friends don't let friends watch these alone.
It was a decade ago that Tina Fey debuted her iconic Sarah Palin impersonation and that Britney Spears made her triumphant return to the VMAS.
Police harassment and indifference from the authorities are common complaints of migrants who stayed in Mexico rather than crossing into the United States.
Former presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush delivered eulogies in honor of Sen. McCain.
The best thing about September? You can eat summer foods and fall foods at the same time!
"You were never second best."
"It would never be my intention to touch any woman's breast. ... I don't know, I guess I put my arm around her."
If he's not that rich then there is always the fourth husband.
What's wrong with a good old-fashioned plate? H/T r/WeWantPlates
News podcast covering child abuse at St. Joseph's Catholic Orphanage, deepfakes and fake news, and world news from NAFTA to Myanmar.
Guacamole is extra, is that OK?
"Calling ur man daddy is so basic we’re replying ‘yes papa’ in johnny’s voice now."
Hasta el moño estoy de todas estas chorradas de #TeamEdward. Es #TeamJacob o nada.
Papadopoulos's Lawyers Asked For No Jail Time And Said Trump “Nodded With Approval” At Suggestion Of Meeting With Putin
The late-night court filing contains some eye-catching information about George Papadopoulos's time with the Trump campaign.
Caution: You may pass out from some of these prices!
“The White House, after consultation with the Department of Justice, has directed that we not provide these documents.”
An Army Director Hired To A Top Immigration Post Spewed Anti-Muslim Comments On Facebook — Then He Lost The Job
Guy Sands-Pingot, who once compared Islam to the Nazi Party in a Facebook comment, was hired as a deputy director at US Citizenship and Immigration Services. He will now not fill the role.
Rumors that a man was killed while defending a woman from rape have fueled anti-immigrant protests in Germany, with mobs hunting people in the streets. Now the country's biggest far-right party is planning a march of its own.
Cheap as hell, but make it feel ~high end~.
The legislation would prohibit internet providers from slowing down websites, charging premiums for higher-quality streaming, and zero-rating data for certain apps.
Order some food, and we'll reveal the truth.
Kids are like the Michelangelos of laziness.
Are you a Lara Jean/Betty combo or a Peter/Jughead mashup?
“You lugubrious leech, you dopey doppelgänger of deceit and deviance, you lethal liar, you dim-witted dictator, you foolish fascist,” was just one of the lines.
The vibrator is the Hitachi Magic Wand...and the spell is multiple orgasms, duh.