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This Magical Vibrator Will Put A Spell On You (And Your Privates)

The vibrator is the Hitachi Magic Wand...and the spell is multiple orgasms, duh.

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Folks, I'm here to introduce you to the magnum opus of modern sex toys — the Hitachi Magic Wand.

So many have tried, but no one has even come close to where the Magic Wand will be able to get you.
amazon.com

So many have tried, but no one has even come close to where the Magic Wand will be able to get you.

Originally advertised as a "massager," this legend has been around since the '60s and of course we as a society decided to turn it into a pleasure device, because who doesn't love getting off, am I right?

HBO

It's Samantha-approved! With a soft, silicone head and bendable neck, you'll be able to ride those waves of vibration until you literally can't anymore.

If you're somewhat ~in the know~ about this...downright epic vibrator, then you understand that you'd be able to achieve not one or two, but MULTIPLE mindblowing orgasms without even trying too hard.

I mean seriously, urban legend suggests it isn't for someone who isn't trying to strap in (hehe) for adventure. And by "adventure," I mean sex...with yourself or others!

I mean, call me lazy but who doesn't want to get off (again and again) with the least amount of effort required?

Abso Lutely Productions

It only has two speeds — low and high, so you should be prepared for magical sensations that capture your full attention. The high speed isn't for the faint of heart, but hey at least you died happily?

HBO

Hey, you were here for a good time not a long time! All you have to do is plug it into an outlet closest to the bed, click a button, lay back, and enjoy all that's to come (how many of these jokes will I make by the end?). Because it's been around so long, there are a shit-ton of different attachments you can use, which means you'll never get bored in the bedroom.

If you aren't taking my word for it, you should check out just a few accounts of over 1,000 ~satisfied~ customers:

"What can I say that hasn't been said about this. It is everything people say and more. You will be taken to another dimension. Worth every penny." —Angela Eby"Holy shit, this thing has changed my life. Three years of sex and I've never had her cum so fast or so many times. Simply the best sex toy I have ever purchased." —J Bow"This is the king of vibrators. End of story. Period. After several years, ours suddenly died. My wife cried. Literally. Not kidding. Immediately ordered another. She then told me I should have gotten two just in case it died again in the future so she wouldn't have to go several days without it." —PhantomLord
Amazon

"What can I say that hasn't been said about this. It is everything people say and more. You will be taken to another dimension. Worth every penny." —Angela Eby

"Holy shit, this thing has changed my life. Three years of sex and I've never had her cum so fast or so many times. Simply the best sex toy I have ever purchased." —J Bow

"This is the king of vibrators. End of story. Period. After several years, ours suddenly died. My wife cried. Literally. Not kidding. Immediately ordered another. She then told me I should have gotten two just in case it died again in the future so she wouldn't have to go several days without it." —PhantomLord

Columbia Pictures

It's called the "King Of Sex Toys" for a reason y'all, here are even more reasons it'll live in infamy:

"I bought this in September of 2011 and it still works well. After my wife first used it.. she thanked me for it and seemed pretty excited about it. I was like yeah, it was pretty expensive so you'd better get some use out it. A year later, no complaints. She just pulled it out again last week while we were in bed together, totally her idea." —William K."I purchased this for my wife and I after doing a lot of research on different vibes. Everyone is right, this thing is amazing. The first time we used it just on her before heading out for the day. She came in under a minute. We used it again during sex with a little more self-control. My wife had the largest and loudest orgasm of her life, then promptly passed out on top of me. Enough said." —Sharman"They weren't lying when they called this the 'magic wand!' It is amazing and very fun for my fiance and I to use in the bedroom. Try this once, and you'll always want to have it. We've had it for over two years now, and it's as good as new. The vibrations are just as strong as they were when it came out of the box. Don't let the plug deter you from buying it. This is great to use with a partner or by yourself. I think it would be beneficial for women who have difficulty reaching orgasm." —Chris
hitachimagic.com

"I bought this in September of 2011 and it still works well. After my wife first used it.. she thanked me for it and seemed pretty excited about it. I was like yeah, it was pretty expensive so you'd better get some use out it. A year later, no complaints. She just pulled it out again last week while we were in bed together, totally her idea." —William K.

"I purchased this for my wife and I after doing a lot of research on different vibes. Everyone is right, this thing is amazing. The first time we used it just on her before heading out for the day. She came in under a minute. We used it again during sex with a little more self-control. My wife had the largest and loudest orgasm of her life, then promptly passed out on top of me. Enough said." —Sharman

"They weren't lying when they called this the 'magic wand!' It is amazing and very fun for my fiance and I to use in the bedroom. Try this once, and you'll always want to have it. We've had it for over two years now, and it's as good as new. The vibrations are just as strong as they were when it came out of the box. Don't let the plug deter you from buying it. This is great to use with a partner or by yourself. I think it would be beneficial for women who have difficulty reaching orgasm." —Chris

So like, if you want to put a spell on your clitoris, I'd say reserve some much-needed ~alone~ time and let it guide you to higher heights, no matter how brief.

MTV

It doesn't matter that it's over, what matters is that it happened!

Get it from Amazon for $54.75 or Walmart for $44.91.

Reviews here have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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