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May 11, 2012

Bane's Mask Resembles Goatse

Only turned sideways. You have seen it, you cannot unsee it. This is SFW but for the love of EVERYTHING, do not Google "Goatse" if you don't already know. Just happily be out of loop.

Bane's Mask Is Sideways Goatse, Catwoman Has Nice Lips

I would take a Bane-masking from Tom Hardy to get with that woman & her granny-fro. Hell, I’m pretty star-struck in the best of times, I’d probably even settle for just the Bane-masking

Cats And Dogs Dressed As Fairy Tale Characters

At a recent dog and cat "exhibition" in Minsk, Belarus, cats and dogs (but mostly cats) were dressed up as kings, queens, and all the other obligatory fairy tale characters. I need this "exhibition" to come to America.

ICYMI: Best Of The Web This Week

BuzzFeed's Matt Stopera joined HLN's Richelle Carey to talk the best of the web this week. Also, 97% of Pinterest users are women. The other 3% have no idea what they're doing.

48 Reasons Your Mom Deserves A Really Nice Gift This Mother's Day

Because we all did these things when you were younger.

Saddest Vanity Plate

As a Toyota Camry enthusiast, I peg this as an '88.

The NBA Playoffs Are Finally Bizarre

It took a lockout shortened season and some unfortunate injuries, but at long last the NBA playoffs are unpredictable.

Spot The Impostor

It's Boo, you guys! Sorry - I totally ruined that game, didn't I?

Squishy Hugs: The Manifesto Of The 800-Pound Bride

Here is the biography/mission statement of Susanne Eman, the bride-to-be who wants to be the fattest woman in the world. In her own words, from her own website.

Pit Bull Rescues Unconscious Owner From Getting Hit By An Oncoming Train

And this is why dogs are better than cats. Truth bomb, sorry.

The Best BBQ Assistant Ever

I need to get me one of these.

Craft Wars: The Shoe Challenge

Three unique ways to transform ho-hum footwear.

Get Your Crazy Pants On

Colored and patterned pants are everywhere, but they're so LOUD they don't seem to go with anything. Or... do they? The Fashion Mailbag is here to help. Warning: ADVANCED DRESSING AHEAD.

Campaign Aide: Romney To Steer Clear Of Mormonism In Liberty Speech

At the evangelical university, he'll touch on gay marriage and life lessons. A bet that Evangelicals will get over the Mormon issue.

First Travolta Accuser Dropped By Lawyer

The first massage therapist to accuse John Travolta of sexual assault has been dropped by his attorney, possibly because he mixed up the date of the alleged assault. But attorney Okorie Okorocha is still representing the second accuser "and other alleged victims who are possibly coming forward.”

The Dugout Opening Days '12: Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim

No matter how many home runs Josh Hamilton hits or how many Austrian newspapers refer to him as an ex-junkie for doing so, the story of the 2012 baseball season thus far has and will continue to be the struggles of Albert Pujols.

What To Watch On Netflix Now: Vampires!

The best Netflix movies to get ready for the release of Tim Burton's Dark Shadows. Which means: Vampires! Vincent Price! Creepy castles! Weird sex! Demons!

Next Week's New Yorker Cover

I don't get it. Was there some news event that I missed? Or are they just painting the White House? (via @cschweitz)

Christine Todd Whitman: Most Republican Women Support Abortion Rights

Former New Jersey Governor Christine Todd Whitman says Republicans in Congress have lost their way on abortion — and the state should get out of the business of marriage.

The Guild: Wil Wheaton Gets His Own Comic

Codex and Fawkes, together again. This one-shot fills the gap between seasons 4 and 5 to explain how he went from Evil Leader to Creeper in a Dog Costume.

Dear "Time" Editor: Breastfeeding Cover Was Not "Whimsical"

Managing editor Rick Stengel called the now-infamous cover "whimsical" on Morning Joe today. That word does not mean what he thinks it means.

6-Year-Old Boy With Cerebral Palsy Walks To His U.S. Marine Father For The First Time

Okay this is the most heart warming thing I've seen in a long time. Brb, crying.

Winston Churchill With A Puppy And Other Links

Also available: Winston Churchill with a pony or ducks. Plus, Hermione Granger ended up on the pole after all and one South American country just sprinted into the lead on equal rights.

Louis CK Just Released A New Stand-Up Special On His Website

Good news, everyone! Louis CK is going to be released a new special on his site for $5, and after that it's going to be on FX! Rejoice!

25 Things That Are Totally Legit

Don't even think about questioning these.

How To Feel Like a Cool Dog

Maybe even the coolest. Just follow these simple instructions.

5 Stocks To Buy While Others Are Afraid

The latest viral buzz from thestreet.com

55 Ladies On Tumblr Who Love Bud Light Lime

Look what Kitty Pryde has done. A quick search of Tumblr's "Bud Light Lime" tag shows that 98%* of the posts are via females. [NOTE: * = Not scientific findings.]

Ken Marino Gives "The Bachelor" The Parody It Very Much Deserves

Heads up: it looks like the upcoming "Burning Love" is going to be hilarious.

"Girls" Star Zosia Mamet Says Dating As A Twenty-Something Really Is That Bad

On a Conan appearance, Mamet, who plays the naive Shoshanna on Girls said guys are turned off by her "ambition." "Ninety percent of the time when I go on dates I think, I could be reading my book instead," she added.

Heavy Penalties For Witchcraft At Liberty University

Witches at the evangelical university will face a $500 fine, according to the school's handbook.

Tamron Hall, Tim Carney Squabble Over Romney And The Media

Tim Carney of the Washington Examiner took offense at Hall using "typical media tricks." Hall cuts off Carney before he can go "meta-meta" and boots him off the show.

Black Spring Water Is Healthy; Looks Disgusting

Would you drink this? They say it's good for you, but I remain dubious.

Tips To Help Prevent Foreclosure

Banks are increasing the speed of foreclosures once again, but you can prevent becoming a statistic.

New Playboy TV Spot Is F*cking Terrible

It's for "Press To Play", a new Playboy branded shower gel. (Yeah, that'll look great in your bathroom, stud.) Desperate Hef's trying to grab some of that Axe money.

Students Posing For Prom Fall Into Lake When Pier Gives Way

Oh my gosh, you guys: PROM IS RUINED!!!

Mindy Kaling's Show Is Now Called "The Mindy Project"

The original title, It's Messy, has been scrapped.

What All Of Your Beanie Babies Are Up To Now

This is what happens when your Beanie Baby gets up out of that box in your basement and goes on to live his life.

Student Creates Fully Functional Portal Turret

The politest death machine you'll ever meet. Luckily it only shoots Nerf darts...for now.

The Most Exciting American Olympians Of The Last 10 Years

This list was processed by BuzzFeed's brand new giant supercomputers located conveniently in the spire of the Empire State Building. That's how you know it's good.

Bizarre Ad Of The Week

It's for Vim toilet cleaner, via Vietnam.

Ways To Make A Long-Distance Relationship Work

It's hard to make it work - but it's not impossible.

The With Leather Guide To Not Mixing Up Brooklyn Decker And Kate Upton

Model, actress and athlete’s wife Brooklyn Decker was making the promotional rounds for her new film Battleship earlier this week, and she called in

Mormon Cultist For President!

On Saturday, Mitt Romney will speak at a university that teaches his religion is a cult. Across the campus of Liberty University in Lynchburg, VA, conservative Christians are turning to the Bible to justify voting for a heretic.

Katy Perry Channels Her Inner Goth Kid

She could probably stand to look a little more pale, though.

Intense Tea Time With Alan Rickman

This man can make anything terrifying. Looks like I won't be drinking tea anytime soon.

Democrats Pounce On Walker's "Divide And Conquer" Video

Today's fight in Wisconsin is over a video of Scott Walker saying he would "divide and conquer" unions, shot before his controversial budget repair bill. Democrats note inconsistencies.

"Bitty Avengers" Parody Just As Good As The Real Thing

I'd like to imagine all these scenarios played out off screen. Seriously if you aren't following Ginger Haze, who also created the wonderful "Hunger Games" parody, you need to re-evaluate your life choices. (Warning: Spoilers Ahead!)

What's The Right Way To Send A Mixtape In The Age Of Spotify?

Is a carefully crafted Spotify playlist acceptable? Or does it have to be on a CD? Plus, precisely how to tell if someone likes you with a Facebook friend request.

Here Are Some Baby Photos Of James Franco

In honor of Mother's Day, James Franco's Mom has shared some pictures of little James, as well as some more recent shots of James and Mom together. Cute!

Calvin The Calico Lobster

He's a 1-in-30 million celebrity. Thanks to a chef recognizing how rare he was, Calvin only barely escaped the boiling pot at a Boston restaurant. He's been donated to the New England Aquarium for study and safe keeping.

15 Logical Reasons Why Eva Mendes And Ryan Gosling Should Break Up

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD it's time for them to just end it already.

70-Year-Old Virgin Is Now Ready To Rock

Good for her! Pam Shaw is a septuagenarian cabaret singer from England who, despite performing since the '60s under the name The Sexational Pam, has never quite found the time to hook up with a decent bloke. Now she's finally ready to move beyond snogging. Better late than never!

Huge Dogs You Can't Fit In Your Apartment

Those pursedogs don't seem like such a bad idea now, do they? Here's why you might not want a big this big.

Kris Humphries Knows He's A Douchebag

Or at least, he knows enough to realize that starring in a Funny Or Die video might help with how terribly the public perceives him.

Have You Ever Seen Your Mother Naked?

A lovely Mother's Day tribute from Jimmy Kimmel. Don't worry, you still have a couple days to scrounge up your last minute gifts.

27 Guinea Pigs Wearing Hats

The Spring Guinea Pig fashion line is out and I have all the latest trends in Guinea Pig hats here for you.

18 Things To Consider Before Moving In With Your Boyfriend

Before you go and make such a big decision, maybe you should think about the reality of what you're about to get yourself into. This should help.

How To Get A Girl To Like You

The latest viral buzz from askmen.com

Pornhub Users Say Doggystyle Is Their Favorite Way To Have Sex

In a survey, it came in well above the old standby, missionary.

Insane Woman Goes On Insane Gay Rant

Unfortunately, this is not an Onion video.

15 Beautiful, Tragic Chinese Propaganda Posters

Crammed with abundant foodstuffs, these posters were meant to celebrate the Communist economy. The posters all come from the period between 1958 and 1961, when roughly 45 million people were starved, beaten or worked to death in China as part of Mao Zedong's "Great Leap Forward."

Serena Williams Raps Very Badly

Serena hops on the hashtag-rap trend, for some bizarre reason.

Marissa Alexander Sentenced To 20 Years For Firing Gun At Her Ceiling

Alexander had invoked Florida's "Stand Your Ground" law, like Trayvon Martin's killer George Zimmerman, saying she fired a shot at the ceiling to defend herself from an abusive husband. But judges rejected her explanation, and she was given a sentence of 20 years at a hearing today. She plans to appeal.

The Men Who Tweet Too Much

Most people aren't even aware that Twitter has a speed limit. But a handful of extraordinary tweeters exceed it almost every single day.

Can't You See That This Baby Penguin Is Trying To Get To Work?

Can you please stay out of his way? Thanks.

TV Moms Give The Best Advice

Where would we all be without our fake TV moms giving us the advice we really need to hear.

The Best Death Scenes From 8 Seasons Of "Desperate Housewives"

This Sunday is the series finale of Desperate Housewives — you know, that show that you probably don't watch anymore anyway? Well you've been missing out because there were some epic death scenes throughout the 8 years it was on the air. Here is a supercut of the best ones.

You Know The Difference Between A Cat And A Kitten

Suckonthedickimashark has something to say about Tumblr tagging etiquette.

Mother's Day Link Roundup

All our must see we-love-you-momma related posts in one convenient place.

A High-School Baseball Team Forfeited The Championship Game Rather Than Play Against A Girl

"Our school aims to instill in our boys a profound respect for women and girls." Strange way to show it.

Time Magazine Breastfeeding Kid Couldn't Care Less About Being On The "Today" Show

Aram, the three-year-old kid seen breastfeeding on the cover of TIME magazine this week, made his daytime television debut this morning on the "Today" show. He seemed pissed about it.

Democrats Launch It Gets Worse Attack On Romney For Stance On Gay Marriage

The pro-Obama superPAC American Bridge released an ad today attacking Romney today for his stance on gay marriage, along with a website.

Republicans Launch Attack On Obama For "I Forget" About The Recession Comments

The RNC released a new video pouncing on comments the President made in Seattle Thursday saying "sometimes I forget" about the magnitude of the recession before he took office.

Emma Watson Takes Up Pole-dancing Classes

Having played the same character for ten years, it's difficult to see Emma Watson as anyone other than goody two-shoes Hermione Granger. 

What Shoes Are You Wearing Today?

So! What shoes are you wearing today? Are they boots, or heels, or sneakers, or sandals, or gasp...socks and sandals? Add yours below!

Yankee Stadium Is Getting Way Too Specific With Their Scoreboard Trivia

Or some guy got fired and was having some fun on his way out.

Old Men Best Friends Are The Cutest Ever

Ben Aaron from NBC talks to best friends Harvey and Eddy he met in a senior center. Seriously, watch this.

Last Minute Gift Idea For Mother's Day

If you want to get disowned.

Will Ferrell Sings "I Got My Tight Pants On”

The song turned into a duet with Jimmy Fallon, leading me to presume that it too will appear on Jimmy's new comedy album.

You Are Looking At The Coolest Guinea Pig Ever

The Fonz has nothing on this little guy.

This Toddler Keeps Getting Rejected By His Crush

It's probably the most adorable thing of all time.

Argentinians Can Now Choose Their Own Gender On Government Documents

A new law spearheaded by President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner (pictured) allows citizens of Argentina to list whatever gender they identify with on official documents, rather than restricting them to their birth sex. The law lets all transgender Argentinians — not just those who have already had sex change surgery or hormone treatments — to get official identification that lists the gender of their choice.

17 Endearing Things That Mom Used To Do

Really makes you wonder why you ever left home.

Clone Of American Idol Results: Hollie Cavanagh Eliminated

Hollie Cavanagh eliminated from American Idol season 11.

Happy Mother's Day From Mr T

I pity the fool who doesn't love his Mama

Mitt Romney Was A Bully In High School, And He Hasn't Learned A Thing Since

Michael Shure, Michael Hastings and Tricia Rose track what looks like a lifelong pattern of Mitt Romney’s mean-spirited behavior, from allegations of bullying a prep school peer, taunting a blind English teacher, hazing classmates at Stanford and, l…

Francois Hollande 'To Make Segolene Royal Most Powerful Politician In France'

But Francois Hollande is on course to make former partner Segolene Royal the most powerful female politician in the country, despite the bitterness of their separation after 30 years and four children together.

In 2008 Letter, Obama Wrote That States Should Decide Gay Marriage

The President's shift points to a change in personal belief rather than policy.

Best Coast’s Bethany Cosentino On Her New Urban Outfitters Line And ’90s Style Influences

Best Coast, aka Bethany Cosentino’s incredibly catchy, ’60s girl group-esque, dreamy pop song-filled, essentially perfect debut album Crazy For You was all I (and a lot of people) listened to during the summer of 2010 (and songs from her forthcoming…

The Benefits Of Yogurt

The latest viral buzz from askmen.com

9 Super Easy (And Delicious) Food Swaps To Help You Cut Calories And Lose Weight

If you’re on a diet, then you're probably counting calories, fat and carbohydrates. But if you're sacrificing taste, you’re also setting yourself up for a binge. Enjoy your food with tasty replacements that have less calories, fat, sodium and sugar…

What Is A Hipster?

Lorena Galliot came to NYC from France and didn't know what a hipster was. So she took to the streets of Williamsburg to find out.

Watch: Anna Wintour Talks Gay Marriage, Sweatpants And Fried Food On Colbert

Anna Wintour went on the Colbert Report last night, ostensibly to talk about the opening of the Costume Institute’s “Schiaparelli and Prada: Impossible Conversations” at the Met, opening today. Which she did and eloquently. But, oh, it was so much m…

Who Copyedits The Copy Editors?

Copy editors: so important yet too often overlooked and unthanked. Be meticulous and exacting at your job day after day, and when will you finally receive recognition? Only when a front-page headline gets botched or an error like "Department of Pubi…

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