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March 25, 2011

A Fridge Full Of Cake

I would die of happiness if I opened my fridge to find this.

Hipster Dragon Tamer

Hipsters are everywhere these days. Usually I roll my eyes and groan, but this made me smile.

Justin Bieber As Interpreted By A Bad Lip Reader

By the people who brought you 'Friday' As Interpreted By A Bad Lip Reader. Justin Bieber and Rascal Flatts' "That Should Be Me", the way it should be.

Definition of HDML

HDML stands for Herp-Derp Markup Language. Broken or incorrectly implemented HTML that ends up being displayed as garbled text on the page. Geektastic. Via Urban Dictionary.

"Black Swan" Double Claims Credit For Portman's Performance

Flashdance scandal for the 21st century?

Thor Meets Rebecca Black

It had to be done. I'm so sorry. Happy Friday!

What Is Something You Wish You Had?

Batman has the same wish. Meaning he would like a yacht.

50 Tumblr Dashboard Coincidences

Every now and then two completely different Tumblr posts come together to form something truly special: a Tumblr coincidence. It's the closest thing you'll find to a miracle on Tumblr. Enjoy.

Spider Trees On The Rise

Excuse me while I go scream forever.

Cupcake Cupcake Topper

Mmm, cupcake inception.

40 Photos Of Baby Giraffes

Since tiny giraffes are all the rage thanks to those DirecTV ads, here are a bunch of real life mini-raffes. Giraffes are weird and beautiful creatures. Kind of lIke elongated goats.

Chloe Sevigny's Thoughts on Spring

"She" loves it, is overwhelmed by it. Chloe loves quail egg salad, spring cleaning ladies, the undefinable silhouettes of Rodarte, the delicate whispers of the horsefly, and oh, so much more.

Anniversary Gifts By Year

This list has been confirmed by my husband.

Elizabeth Taylor Putting On Makeup Like A Boss

From the obscure 1974 film "The Driver's Seat," in which she plays an insane spinster with a death wish, here's Elizabeth Taylor very intensely applying makeup. Plus a bonus scene from the same movie where she flips out about stain resistant fabric and takes off her top. Both clips demonstrate why she is an icon. Rest in peace.

Great Find On Antiques Roadshow

"And how much did you pay for this interesting sculpture?" "Actually, someone paid me to take it!"

Teen Mom Star In Crazy Front Yard Brawl

Everything that is wrong with America in one video. God help us all.

I'd Rather Be A Parisian Dog

Gold doggie bowl, handmade boudoir? I'll never call my dog "spoiled" again!

Classic Arcade Game Deaths

This is so fucking poignant somehow.

Your Internet Fame, Summed Up In A Shirt

This is the kind of shirt you wear to SXSW Interactive with the sheer intention to get LAID.

Migratory Patterns Of Fresh Princes

Like the magnificent Swallows of Capistrano, the wild Princes of Fresh make a preternatural journey across thousands of miles. Boy are Will Smith's arms tired. Rimshot followed by groans.

The Ultimate Party Hat

She's either the life of the party, or she's scared everyone away by looking like she's eating her own brains.

Hey! Listen! (Navi's Song)

Hey, Listen! Hey! Hey! Listen! Hey!

The 24 Best Notes From Message With A Bottle

Babies are demanding balls of cuteness and need. Luckily, the stay-at-home-dad behind Message With A Bottle has a sense of humor about the absurdity of raising a tiny human.

Retro Handheld Electronic Games

Thanks to Pica Pic, you can now play these nostalgic LCD videogames from the '80s online.

Best Of Dating Site Murderer

This week the internets created the best serial killer meme yet: Dating Site Murderer. He'll kill you with his kindness.

20 X-Rated Stuffed Animals

These stuffed animals are a parent’s worst nightmare. Even if you are all for letting your kids express themselves with strange toys, just make sure you take them off the bed before you give your guests a tour of the house.

Obligatory Friday 'Friday' Remix

Now with more Pedobear. Rebecca Black gets memed.

Lady Gaga Releases A Country Version Of "Born This Way"

I don't really know how to feel about this.

Alyse Lahti Johnston: Tiger Woods' New Girlfriend Should Brace for Media Storm

I am sure she weighed the pros and cons before heading into this thing. There is no way she is not prepared for what is in store. Right?

TUnE-yArDs’ Colorful And Bizarre New Video

“Bizness,” the first single from tUnE-yArDs’ whokill, now has an excellent, colorful video. Impressive choreography and bizarre facial expressions make a pretty awesome combo. Via Stereogum.

Baby Unicorn

Holy crap.

Ohio Woman Turns 119

The family of an Ohio woman who turned 119 said Guinness World Records will not recognize her age because they don't have a birth certificate.

Melodica Bach

Here's one guy playing 9 individual parts of Bach's Brandenburg Concerto no. 3 on a melodica wind piano, which sounds like the love-child of an accordion and a harmonica.

Cancer Drug Stocks to Trade Ahead of ASCO

If it hasn't started already, the momentum in cancer drug stocks will emerge in the days and weeks leading up to May 18. That's the date this year when ASCO will post research abstracts to its annual meeting on the group's web site.

10 Bank Stocks with Great Expectations

To come up with our list, we isolated the 10 bank and thrift holding companies with average daily trading volume of at least 50 thousand shares and were profitable in 2010 with an operating return on average assets of at least 0.50%.

Kia Drayton Hot Pictures

The incredibly sexy Kia Drayton makes her debut appearance on TSJ!

AOL Axes Slashfood, Its Six-Year-Old Food Blog

Following AOL's $315 million purchase of the Huffington Post and the ensuing layoffs, old-school food blog Slashfood is going to be merged into the HuffPo Food section.

Pretty Much Every NYT Obit Written by Dead People

Everyone is amused by the fact that Elizabeth Taylor outlived Mel Gussow, her Times obituary writer, but this has actually been going on for years now. Still, that doesn't make this any less true.

Rob Kardashian Rushed to Hospital for Emergency Surgery

The 24-year-old reality star is recovering after undergoing an appendectomy. "He will be fine," says mom Kris Jenner.

Paris Hilton Hates Black People

Remember that time Paris Hilton was at a club and someone was filming it and she looked into the camera and said, "we're like two niggers." If you don’t watch the video above because that’s it.

'Quantum' Computers Said a Step Closer

DALLAS, March 22 (UPI) -- U.S. researchers have demonstrated another step toward creating a quantum computer, exhibiting a so-called quantum chip at a convention in Dallas.

A Better To-Do List Tattoo

@Spinafex: I didn't get this tattoo for 5 minutes of fame. I got it back in May after thinking about having it done for two years. I actually use it almost every day.

The Cryosauna Freezes Athletes' Bodies

Alberto Salazar, a trainer of highly successful athletes, has been experimenting with new forms of physical therapy to give his clients an extra edge.

Facebook Rolls Out 'Social Ads,' but Here's How to Opt-Out

Facebook has begun rolling out its controversial 'Social Ads' campaign, which allows companies to use your name and profile picture in advertisements targeted to your friends.

Mother Gives Her Eight-Year-Old Daughter Botox to “Make Her a Star”

Hard to believe that we were shocked by makeup for eight-year-olds and titillating Vogue Enfants spreads.

How to like Food

Is there a certain food you find disgusting but wish you didn't? Oysters? Martinis? Coffee? Something other people enjoy but that looks and tastes repulsive to you? Well, you, too, can like it by following these eight simple steps.

Is Hugh Hefner's 24-Year-Old Fiancee Cheating with Dr. Phil's Son?

Hugh Hefner's 24-year-old fiancee, Crystal Harris, might not be ready for monogamous matrimony with her 84-year-old beau after all.

Cleveland Woman Turns 119

Happy 119th Birthday.

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