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March 17, 2011

It took me a moment to realize what I was looking at here. Well done, soldier. Well done.

Michael Douglas' ex-wife says she went after a bigger piece of his fortune only because fraudsters Bernie Madoff and Kenneth Starr stole hers.

It wasn’t photographer Steve Gong’s first trip to North Korea. But on this trip, putting his life at risk, he practiced for months to capture secret video footage in the notoriously clandestine country. And he pulled it off.

This baby owl perches on the fine line between winning hearts and devouring souls. Whatever you do, don't blink.

And what, you may ask, is a Cyclotrope?

Rebecca Black is just the tip of the iceberg.

A woman in Scranton, Pennsylvania was arrested on suspicion of burglary. After a thorough body search, authorities found an amazing array of items hidden in her vagina. Here is the full menu of vaginal contraband. Since the denominations were not announced (and for the sake of running up the score), the $55.22 were broken down into individual dollars and cents. In the race to turn body cavities into clown cars, this woman is winning.

Here's a super cool stop-motion animation starring a robot elephant.

This is a wicked one-man remix.

This is probably how you dance.

Goats making sweet, sweet music. They're nature's sousaphones.

I have no idea how this person/video survived, but here it is.

Freddie Wong made an awesome recreation of Mario in the same vein as a first person shooter.

Quick, we all need to pool our money and fly to Chile!

Everybody's looking forward to the weekend.

The Situation's comedy routine at the roast of Donald Trump was instantly hailed the worst thing ever, but it somehow just got worse. Comedy Central deemed a joke aimed at Snoop Dogg as too racist and cut it from the broadcast. Here is that joke, plus a few more offensive cracks at the expense of Marlee Matlin and Larry King that were omitted, as told by the The Leprechaun from "Leprechaun." Y'know, because it's St. Patrick's Day. Shut up.

Scary new video of the tsunami hitting the small port town of Miyako City.

Yes.

This is my new theme song for Mondays.

Let's all drink to the patron saint of Stockholm Syndrome!

She's very sad!!!!!!

A collection of artwork attempting to raise money for relief efforts in Japan. Despite all of the taco shop brawls and farting Charlie Sheens, sometimes the internet can do good. Links to the individual artist or fundraising page are provided if you feel like chipping in. *This post has been edited to remove a trans slur.*

Zing.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Ben Franklin

On November 13, 1991, Royce G. Garrison was filmed by his father in his grandmother's basement singing "Emotions" by Mariah Carey.

It's St. Patrick's Day. Let's get drunk and dress up a bunch of dogs like leprechauns. Erin go bark. Woof.

Some Alpacas are really shaggy, apparently.

Another option is to be teenage and mutant, but this works too.

Think dogs don't feel emotions? These two pictures will prove you wrong. My heart just broke a little.

Bachelor fans, if you’ve been rooting for Brad and Emily to make it past the threshold, think again!

The ring Brad picked for her looks eerily similar to the dazzler Emily wore for her engagement to star NASCAR driver Ricky Hendrick, 24, who tragically died before they could marry.

Illustrated by Jesse Eisemann

Many brides-to-be lose pounds before the wedding, either because they're intentionally "dieting for the dress" or because all that stress is taking a toll. But has LeAnn Rimes taken her pre-wedding diet a little too far?

The Jersey Shore dynamo made a special appearance on WWE’s Raw, which included her landing a “crotch drop” on a female WWE wrestler. The drama started when WWE Diva Michelle McCool shoved the leopard-wearing Snooki and sparked a massive fight between Snooki and twoother female wrestlers.

As previously reported, The Situation was invited to the Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump last week where he not only bombed but managed to piss off Snoop Dogg in the process by making a joke about slavery.

With the NCAA tournament ready to get underway, the "first round" starts Tuesday night. We will have all the updates, information, stats and facts that you will need to win your pool.

Gilbert Gottfried is known, and often respected, for being the guy who will go dark when no one else will. At the Roast of Hugh Heffner, which was three weeks after 9/11, Gottfried famously joked about the terrorist attack, which drew boos from the audience.

WASHINGTON -- While Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker (R) may have won the most recent battle in Madison by securing passage of an anti-union bill, labor activists are optimistic they may emerge as the victors in the long run.

"Maybe comedy ain't my game right now." Truer words were never spoken, neither by man nor meathead.

Vanessa Hudgens has been hitting the gym. The results are obvious.

Goldman Sachs has added 19 stocks to its Conviction Buy List in 2011 and removed others. For investors willing to go against the grain and buy stocks in a down market, the global investment bank's picks may offer substantial upside.

Images of looting are all too familiar at most recent disasters -- whether out of greed or necessity -- but not in Japan. Experts say the reaction is part of the Japanese culture.

While I agree that cheating on the SAT is unethical, it's not something confined to the North Shore of Long Island. I find the paragraph, "Students at the manicured high school -- where teenagers whiz about in BMWs and Range Rovers.

Tony Hawk, super-wealthy from all of his years on top of the pro skateboarding world, may think the normal rules don’t apply to him. Tony dumped his third wife, his former publicist, when they divorced in February.

Why GTL when you can just go Super Saiyan?

Food writer and newly-annointed Top Chef Masters judge Ruth Reichl recently got dinged for continuing her hippy-dippy tweets in the face of the apocalyptic scenario playing out in Japan. "What planet are you on? The one WITHOUT thousands dying from an earthquake?".

"Now maybe the Liberals know how the Conservatives felt last year when the Democrat Congress rammed Obamacare through (without even reading it)."

Our moms say a lot of crazy shit when we're growing up just to get us to stop making so much noise. We asked you to show us what the world might look like if some of the old wives tales they loved terrifying us with turned out to be true.

CHESAPEAKE, Va., March 16 (UPI) -- A Virginia father said he was outraged his son was suspended for possessing a plastic bag of oregano at his middle school.

Acronyms and abbreviations in textspeak are getting more convoluted every day. Twitter member @TeenDreaming took it to the level of the ridiculous with a Tweet that was turned into this Twaggie.

Three days ago, on a Southwest Airlines flight from San Francisco to San Diego, penguins waddled around the plane. SeaWorld was transporting them to a convention and the penguins’ attendants decided to give them some free time.

Back in September, “Supernatural” creator Eric “Officer” Kripke was the top choice to make a TV adaptation of Neil Gaiman’s acclaimed Sandman comic.

Japan's nuclear crisisTo most of us, nuclear is an all-or-nothing word. Nuclear war is unthinkable. Nuclear weapons must never be used. Nuclear power plants must be perfectly safe. Nuclear meltdown is the end of the world.

After “Regulate,” Nate Dogg continued to contribute hooks to several 2Pac releases—most notably Thug Life’s “How Long Will They Mourn Me?”—as well as to works by other Death Row artists.

A woman and her boyfriend have set the new high-water mark, in general.

We now know it's splitsville for 'Bachelor' Brad Womack and Emily Maynard. Of course, we had to suffer the entire 'After the Rose' ceremony to learn that nothing is turning up roses for the reality television couple.

Hey FOD, your friends from Best Worst Advice visiting again, and for once we're actually here to celebrate a celebrity who needs no advice at all.

The floppy faces of Basset Hounds take on their mortal enemy, gravity, in this fight of epically cute proportions. Seriously, this is a match for the ages. One we all need ringside seats for.

Gentlemen, pay attention. This is serious business.

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