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December 6, 2013

917 People Who Are Hotter Than Benedict Cumberbatch

1. Martin Freeman 2. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle 3. Jeremy Brett 4. Your mom 5. Ron Artest 6. Metta World Peace 7. Prince Harry 8. Prince William 9. Prince Charles 10. This lady who got knocked over by the wind recently 11. Joan Cusack 12. Joan Didion 13. Joan Jett 14. Them 15. Lee Ranaldo 16. Andy Garcia 17. Nathan Stewart-Jarrett 18. Mark Spitz 19. Marc Spitz 20. Danny Trejo 21. Paul Wesley 22. Ian Somerhalder 23. Steven R. McQueen 24. Zach Roerig 25. Michael Trevino 26. Michael Jordan 27. Michael B. Jordan 28. Jordan Knight 29. Jordan Fisher 30. Jules Jordan 31. Montell Jordan 32. Jeremy Jordan 33. Richard Jordan 34. Ben Lee Jordan 35. Jordan Pruitt 36. Jordan Waring 37. Vernon Jordan 38. Matthew Davis 39. Javier Bardem 40. Louis C.K. 41. Tony Plana 42. Tony Danza 43. Sidney Blumenthal 44. Rick Stengel 45. Jimmy Akingbola 46. Alan Igbon 47. Hugh Quarshie 48. Javone Prince 49. Prince 50. Josh Charles 51. Josh Duhamel 52. Josh Turner 53. Josh Hartnett 54. Josh Hamilton 55. Josh Cuthbert 56. Josh Brolin 57. Josh Smith 58. Charles Esten 59. Charles Woodson 60. Charles Kelley 61. Charles Grodin 62. Young Charlie Chaplin 63. Ray Charles 64. RuPaul Andre Charles 65. Beautiful woman on a ladder above the clouds looking far away 66. Roger Klotz 67. Tupac Shakur 68. Tim Tebow 69. Tim McGraw 70. Timbaland 71. This guy 72. Barack Obama 73. Michelle Obama 74. Dominic West 75. Idris Elba 76. Mary Louise Parker 77. Jackie Jackson 78. Tito Jackson 79. Jermaine Jackson 80. Marlon Jackson 81. Michael Jackson 82. Janet Jackson 83. Whoever this was 84. Michael Keaton 85. All of the Michael Keatons in Multiplicity 86. Him 87. Samuel Alito 88. Elena Kagan 89. John G. Roberts 90. Anthony Kennedy 91. Ruth Bader Ginsburg 92. Sonia Sotomayor 93. Stephen G. Breyer 94. Alf 95. Rowan Atkinson 96. Mr. Pibb 97. Dr. Pepper 98. Mr. Clean 99. Mr. Sparkle  100. Elian Gonzalez 101. Sheryl Crow 102. John Wayne 103. Milton Berle 104. The guy next to me in line for pizza earlier today who ordered his slice “well done” 105. Key 106. Peele 107. Henry Ford 108. Joe Isuzu 109. Doc 110. Grumpy 111. Happy 112. Sleepy 113. Bashful 114. Sneezy 115. Dopey 116. Kid Rock 117. Ronald Reagan 118. Joe Jonas 119. Nick Jonas 120. Kevin Jonas 121. Luke Wilson 122. Owen Wilson 123. The other Wilson brother 124. Elijah Wood 125. Henry Kissinger 126. Dan Hedaya 127. Stan Zbornak 128. Dorothy Zbornak 129. Blanche Devereaux 130. Rose Nylund 131. Sophia Petrillo 132. Diane Warren 133. Celine Dion 134. Rene Angelil 135. Albert Nobbs 136. Glenn Close 137. The original Brawny Man 138. Juror #1 139. Juror #2 140. Juror #3 141. Juror #4 142. Juror #5 143. Juror #6. 144. Juror #7 145. Juror #8 146. Juror #9 147. Juror #10 148. Juror #11 149. Bobcat Goldthwait 150. Juror #12 151. Michelle Williams 152. Michelle Williams 153. Kelly Rowland 154. Latavia Roberson 155. Tina Knowles 156. Solange Knowles 157. The Eyes of Dr. T.J. Eckleberg 158. “man slipping and falling” 159. The New Face of America 160. Santa Claus 161. A common elf 162. Gaston 163. Lefou 164. Lumiere as a candlestick 165. Lumiere as a man 166. Cogsworth as a clock 167. Cogsworth as a man 168. The wardrobe 169. Sully Sullenberger 170. Mr. Big 171. Aidan Shaw 172. Jack Berger 173. Aleksandr Petrovsky 174. Richard Wright 175. Smith Jerrod 176. Trey MacDougal 177. Bunny MacDougal 178. Harry Goldenblatt 179. Skipper Johnston 180. Robert Leeds 181. Steve Brady 182. Steve Brady’s Mom 183. This 184. Animal 185. Beaker 186. Beauregard 187. Camilla 188. Fozzie 189. Gonzo 190. Janice 191. Kermit 192. Miss Piggy 193. Rizzo 194. Rowlf 195. Scooter 196. The Swedish Chef 197. The cast of The Real World New Orleans 198. Christopher Walken 199. Sinbad 200. Professor Plum 201. Colonel Mustard 202. Mr. Green 203. Mrs. Peacock 204. Mrs. White 205. Mr. Body 206. Ted Cruz 207. The Candyman 208. The other Candyman 209. Jerry 210. George 211. Kramer 212. Newman 213. Bania 214. Mr. Pitt 215. Larry David 216. Cheryl David 217. Craig David 218. Michelangelo's David 219. David Paymer 220. This block of wood 221. The cast of The Wood 222. The person who delivers your mail 223. The person who delivered you 224. Any clown 225. Sister Mary Clarence 226. Sister Mary Robert 227. Jackee Harry 228. Sister Mary Lazarus 229. Sister Alma 230. Sister Mary Patrick 231. This piece of toast 232. An Oscar 233. An MTV Moon Man 234. A Golden Globe 235. Goldie Hawn 236. Kate Hudson 237. Kurt Russell 238. Harry 239. Any of the Hendersons 240. Laverne 241. Shirley 242. Lenny 243. Squiggy 244. Garry Marshall 245. Penny Marshall 246. Fred Armisen as Penny Marshall 247. Timon 248. Pumba 249. Patrick Wilson 250. Woodrow Wilson 251. Mr. Wilson 252. Wilson 253. Wilson 254. Wilson 255. Phillips 256. Captain Phillips 257. Captain Planet 258. Wind 259. Water 260. Earth 261. Fire 262. Heart 263. Heart 264. The Cowardly Lion 265. The Tin Man 266. The Scarecrow 267. The Wicked Witch of the West 268. The Lollipop Guild 269. A lollipop 270. The Umbrella Man 271. The Lawnmower Man 272. The Orkin Man 273. The Trojan Man 274. The Wicker Man (1973) 275. The Wicker Man (2006) 276. The Music Man 277. The Running Man 278. The Postman 279. The Mothman 280. The Best Man 281. Encino Man 282. The guy who just added you on LinkedIn 283. Gallagher 284. Peter Gallagher 285. Abraham Lincoln 286. Abraham Lincoln’s Cabinet 287. Mary Todd Lincoln 288. Shirley MacLaine 289. Shirley MacLaine 290. Shirley MacLaine 291. Shirley MacLaine 292. Shirley MacLaine 293. Shirley MacLaine 294. Denise Huxtable 295. Vanessa Huxtable 296. Theo Huxtable 297. Rudy Huxtable 298. Clair Huxtable 299. Cliff Huxtable 300. Cousin Pam 301. Cousin Eddie 302. Cousin Itt 303. Cousin Larry 304. The Cloverfield Monster 305. Your RTF 317 Intro to Narrative Film professor 306. Your RTF 317 Intro to Narrative Film TA 307. Most of your TAs, actually 308. Howie Mandel 309. Howie Mandel’s hands 310. Him 311. Jackie Earle Haley 312. A Minion 313. Dorian Gray 314. Meredith Grey 315. The color gray 316. Michael Landon 317. Tyne Daly 318. John Ratzenberger 319. Marg Helgenberger 320. Erin Brockovich 321. Peter Bogdanovich 333. Nosferatu 334. Matisyahu 335. The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill But Came Down A Mountain 336. This 337. The missing link 338. Barton Fink 340. This guy 341. This guy 342. This guy 343. These two 344. Her 345. Ewan McGregor 346. Mamie Gummer 347. Grace Gummer 348. Don Gummer 349. Henry Gummer 350. Meryl Streep 351. Joanna Kramer 352. Sophie 353. Karen Silkwood 354. Molly Gilmore 355. Susan Traherne 356. Karen 357. Rachel Samstat 358. Helen Archer 359. Linda Chamberlain 360. Mary Fisher 361. Suzanne Vale 362. Julia 363. Madeline Ashton 364. Clara 365. Lee 366. Roberta Guaspari 367. Susan Orlean 368. Clarissa Vaughan 369. Abigail Adams 370. Hannah Pitt 371. Eleanor Shaw 372. Aunt Josephine 373. Lisa Metzger 374. Yolanda Johnson 375. Miranda Priestly 376. Joanna Silver 377. Lila Ross 378. Corrine Whitman 379. Corrine Whitman 380. Janine Roth 381. Donna 382. Sister Aloysius Beauvier 383. Julia Child 384. Mrs. Fox 385. Jane Adler 386. Margaret Thatcher 387. Kay 388. Violet Weston 389. The Witch 390. Him 391. Joe Rogan 392. Joe Camel 393. Joe Dimaggio 394. Joe Fresh 395. Joe Scarborough 396. Joe Cool 397. Joe Pesci 398. Cesar Chavez 399. Julius Caesar 400. Little Caesar 401. The Winklevoss twin who stands on the left 402. Taye Diggs 403. Morris Chestnut 404. Terrence Howard 405. Harold Perrineau 406. Eddie Cibrian 407. Sanaa Lathan 408. Nia Long 409. Regina Hall 410. Monica Calhoun 411. Melissa de Sousa 412. The Man Without a Face 413. The Man Who Wasn’t There 414. The Man From Snowy River 415. The Man From U.N.C.L.E. 416. The Man on the Moon 417. The man on the moon 418. The Man of Steel 419. The Man of La Mancha 420. The Man Who Knew Too Much 421. The Man Who Knew Too Little 422. The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence 423. The Man In The Iron Mask 424. Juwanna Mann 425. Leslie Mann 426. Whatta Man 427. Crazy Pete 428. Old Man Marley 429. Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper 430. Untitled (Big Man) 431. Woody Allen 432. Woody Harrelson 433. Woody Woodpecker 434. Woody Guthrie 435. Woody the Cowboy 436. Buzz Lightyear 437. Buzz Aldrin 438. This BuzzFeed list 439. The whammy 440. That professor my friend dated in college despite the fact that I did not approve of the relationship 441. The silhouette of a man uglier than Benedict Cumberbatch 442. Usher 443. Ali Go 444. Bruno 445. Borat 446. Boris Karloff 447. Marla Sokoloff 448. Ron Howard 449. Andy Griffith 450. Maria Rainer 451. Captain Georg von Trapp 452. Elsa Schrader 453. Rolf Gruber 454. Liesl vonn Trapp 455. The Mother Abbess 456. Phonte Coleman 457. Her 458. Nelly Furtado 459. Nelly 460. Fergie 461. Gumby 462. That hot dad I accidentally flipped my hair into on the Q train three years ago 463. Most dads in the borough of Brooklyn 464. Your dad 465. Patty Mayonnaise 466. Apple Store Lady 467. Conan O’Brien 468. Conan the Barbarian 469. Xena Warrior Princess 470. The heart-eye Emoji 471. The sunglasses Emoji 472. The devil Emoji 473. The policeman Emoji 474. The heart-eye cat Emoji 475. The grandma Emoji 476. The pair of dancing ladies Emoji 477. The smiling poop Emoji 478. The guy who stole my iPhone 4 479. Nick Carter 480. Brian Littrell 481. Kevin Richardson 482. A.J. McLean 483. Howie Dorough 484. Justin Timberlake 485. Lance Bass 486. JC Chasez 487. Joey Fatone 488. Chris Kirkpatrick (gratuitous) 489. Gandalf the Grey 490. Frodo Baggins 491. Samwise Gamgee 492. Galadriel 493. Aragorn 494. Most hobbits 495. Tom Brady 496. Drew Bledsoe 497. Babe Parilli 498. The Fab Five (Michigan basketball edition) 499. The Fab Five (U.S. gymnastics edition) 500. Fab Five Freddy 501. Josh Lyman 502. C.J. Cregg 503. Donnatella Moss 504. Charlie Young 505. President Jeb Bartlet 506. Dr. Abby Bartlet 507. Zoey Bartlet 508. Toby Ziegler 509. Toby Ziegler’s dad 510. Leo McGarry 511. Them 512. Tinky Winky 513. Dipsy 514. Laa-Laa 515. Po 516. Noo-Noo 517. Sexy Tinky Winky 518. All of the women laughing alone with salad 519. All of the women struggling to drink water 520. Moe Howard 521. Curly Howard 522. Larry Fine 523. Roof guy 524. Spanky 525. Alfalfa 526. Darla 527. Stymie 528. Porky 529. Buckwheat 530. Butch 531. Woim 532. Waldo 533. Uh-huh 534. Mary-Kate Olsen 535. Ashley Olsen 536. Elizabeth Olsen 537. Uncle Jesse 538. Bob Saget 539. Bob Marley 540. Bob Dylan 541. Bob Hope 542. Bob Barker 543. Vanna White 544. Bob Ross 545. Bob Dole 546. Bob Costas 547. Bobby Orr 548. Bobby McFerrin 549. This 550. Keira Knightley 551. Keira Knightley’s lower lip 552. Sage Steele 553. Linda Cohn 554. Hannah Storm 555. Scott Van Pelt 556. This guy 557. Max Read 558. Them 559. Erykah Badu 560. Erika Christensen 561. Erica Mena 562. Eric Dane 563. The Prime Minister of Denmark 564. A cheese Danish 565. Nick Denton 566. Jonah Peretti 567. Chelsea Peretti 568. The Peretti dad, probably 569. Amy Poehler 570. Tina Fey 571. Rachel Dratch 572. Janeane Garofalo 573. Romy 574. Michele 575. Mary 576. Rhoda 577. Thelma 578. Louise 579. John Shankman 580. Doge 581. Kenan 582. Kel 583. Kelly Ripa 584. Kelly Clarkson 585. Gene Kelly 586. Cord Jefferson 587. That guy in corduroys from the Destiny’s Child song “Apple Pie a La Mode” 588. Lou Bega 589. Angela 590. Pamela 591. Sandra 592. and Rita 593. Rita Ora 594. Rita Levi-Montalcini 595. Rita Hayworth 593. Rita Wilson 594. Tom Hanks 595. Chet Haze 596. Chester Cheetah 597. Mr. Peanut 598. The yellow M&M 599. The red M&M 600. The orange M&M 601. The turquoise M&M 602. The green M&M 603. The guy who went on a date with the green M&M in that commercial 604. Flo 605. Flo Rida 606. Florida Senator Marco Rubio 607. Ricky Rubio 608. Ricki Lake 609. My first crush 610. My sixth grade crush 611. My seventh grade crush 612. My eighth grade crush 613. My ninth grade crush 614. My tenth grade crush 615. My eleventh grade crush 616. My twelfth grade crush 617. My freshman year crush 618. My sophomore year crush 619. My junior year crush 620. My senior year crush 621. My current crush 622. Steve from Dream Phone 623. Wayne from Dream Phone 624. Susan from Guess Who? 625. Them 626. Tony Hawk 627. Tony Soprano 628. Carmela Soprano 629. Meadow Soprano 630. AJ Soprano Jr. 631. Livia Soprano 632. Corrado Soprano 633. Dr. Melfi 634. Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman 635. Dr. Oz 636. Dr. Phil 637. Dr. Seuss 638. Dr. Dre 639. Dr. Kevorkian 640. Dr. Luke 641. Dr. Ruth 642. George Baker 643. Pierce Brosnan 644. Christopher Cazenove 645. Daniel Craig 646. Sean Connery 647. Timothy Dalton 648. Bob Holness 649. Michael Jayston 650. George Lazenby 651. Roger Moore 652. Barry Nelson 653. David Niven 654. Toby Stephens 655. The very idea of James Bond 656. Niall Horan 657. Zayn Malik 658. Liam Payne 659. Harry Styles 660. Louis Tomlinson 661. Lily Tomlin 662. Lily Allen 663. Johann Sebastian Bach 664. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, sans wig 665. Frédéric François Chopin 666. Satan 667. Wesley 668. Buttercup 669. Prince Humperdinck 670. Inigo Montoya 671. Fezzik 672. Vizzini 673. The Albino 674. Vladimir Putin on a horse 675. Vladimir Putin in a race car 676. Vladimir Putin doing karate 677. Vladimir Putin snorkeling 678. Vladimir Putin on a yacht 679. Vladimir Putin arm-wrestling 680. Vladimir Putin attempting to bend a frying pan with his bare hands and failing 681. Vladimir Putin on a snowmobile 682. Vladimir Putin driving a helicopter 683. Vladimir Putin holding a puppy 684. Vladimir Putin on a motorcycle 685. Vladimir Putin on a horse, but also shirtless 686. Vladimir Putin, generally 687. The guy at the wine store who doesn’t judge me when I ask for the “affordable” Sauvignon Blanc 688. Most wine mascots 689. Most Moscato mascots 690. Most mascots 691. Andre Leon Talley 692. Grace Coddington 693. David Remnick 694. Ariel Levy 695. Ariel 696. Daryl Hannah 697. Hannah Montana 698. Billy Ray Cyrus 699. Billy Ray Cyrus’s mullet 700. Her 701. Harry Potter 702. Hermione Granger 703. Hedwig 704. Sirius Black 705. Albus Dumbledore 706. Minerva McGonagall 707. Lord Voldemort in Book 6 708. Lord Voldemort in Book 3 709. Lord Voldemort in Book 1 710. Lord Voldemort in Book 7 711. Lord Voldemort in Book 4 712. Lord Voldemort in Book 5 713. Lord Voldemort in Book 2 714. Nagini 715. J.K. Rowling 716. Robert Galbraith 717. Happy Group Of Young Friends Watching Television And Supporting Their Team 718. This guy shredding guitar in a kilt 719. The Loch Ness Monster (Look 1) 720. The Loch Ness Monster (Look 2) 721. The Loch Ness Monster (Look 3) 722. The Loch Ness Monster (Look 4) 723. This guy pretending to pose in front of the Loch Ness Monster 724. Alan Cumming 725. Alan Rickman 726. Alan Alda 727. Agnetha Fältskog 728. Björn Ulvaeus 729. Benny Andersson 730. Anni-Frid Lyngstad 731. Björk 732. Björk dressed as a swan 733. Natalie Portman dressed as the Swan Queen 734. Mila Kunis dressed as the Black Swan 735. Most swans residing in public parks 736. A park ranger in New Mexico named Dave Popelka 737. Dave, Founder of Wendy's 738. Wendy 739. The Hamburglar 740. Most hamburgers 741. This guy 742. This lady 743. Kelis’s milkshake 744. Kelis 755. Rihanna tho 756. Melissa Forde 757. The Ford Fiesta 758. The Daft Punk guy in the silver helmet 759. The Daft Punk guy in the gold helmet 760. Pharrell at 20 761. Pharrell at 40 762. Chad Hugo 763. A lot of men named Chad, unfortunately 764. Like this guy 765. Ed White 766. Edward White 767. Malcolm Read 768. Malcolm Gladwell 769. Malcolm In The Middle 770. Malcolm McDowell 771. A dowel rod 772. Janet Malcolm 773. Sandy Alderson 774. Sandy Dvore 775. Sandy Hawkins 776. Sandy who was Little Orphan Annie's Dog 777. The Rihanna plane 778. Thomas Rogers 779. Rogers and Hart 780. Thomas Gibson 781. Thomas Dekker 782. Brooklyn Decker 783. Thomas Jane 784. Captain Janeway 785. Thomas Paine 786. Thomas Monson 787. Charlotte Ronson 788. Michael Tilson Thomas 789. Thomas Hart Benton 790. Thomas Brodie-Sangster 791. Brody from "Homeland" (pre-heroin) 792. Brody Jenner 793. Bruce Jenner 794. Bruce Banner 795. The dude who wrote Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer 796. #685, but if he also had a buzzcut 797. Bonnie Raitt 798. Bonnie Hunt 799. Your Bonnie lying over the ocean 800. Any mental image of any grizzly sea captain 801. A grizzly bear 802. Gordon the Fisherman from the fishstick boxes 803. Any beard 804. Her 805. Bill Nye 806. Your standard-issue classroom test tube 807. Tia Mowry 808. Tamera Mowry 809. The Flying Nun 810. Theodore Rex 811. Littlefoot 812. Petrie 813. Ducky 814. Cera 815. Michael Cera 816. Michael Caine 817. An anthropomorphic candy cane 818. An anthropomorphic anything 819. The green gargoyle from Gargoyles 820. A cloud that makes you say, “That looks like a man!” 821. A flibbertigibbet 822. A will-o’- the-wisp 823. Ronan Farrow 824. Frank Sinatra 825. Nancy Sinatra 826. The tall one in The Blue Man Group 827. The mouse from Ratatouille 828. Any person saying “Ratatouille” 829. Jesus, most likely 830. John the Baptist, definitely 831. Your neighbor 832. Your neighbor’s best friend 833. Your neighbor’s best friend’s father 834. Your neighbor’s best friend’s father’s mother 835. Your neighbor’s best friend’s father’s mother’s first boss 836. Him 837. Rock Hudson 838. Montgomery Clift 839. Katharine Hepburn 840. Sidney Poitier 841. Jigsaw 842. Michael Myers 843. Mike Myers 844. Denzel Washington 845. Kerry Washington 846. George Washington 847. Martha Washington 848. Martha Stewart 849. A cake made by Martha Stewart 850. A turkey made by Martha Stewart 851. A man Martha Stewart refers to as “The Enemy” 852. Kristen Stewart 853. One of these 854. Your reflection 855. Mulan’s reflection 856. The word “Handsome” 857. Teddy Roosevelt 858. Anyone on a horse 859. Jake Gyllenhaal 860. Maggie Gyllenhaal 861. Peter Sarsgaard 862. Alexander Skarsgard 863. Pitbull 864. A pitbull 865. Sam, an ugly dog voted the world's ugliest dog in 2003, 2004, and 2005 866. Toucan Sam 867. Snap! 868. Crackle! 869. Pop! 870. The Pringles man 871. The Chips Ahoy! exclamation mark 872. An order of eggs benedict 873. An order of eggs florentine 874. An order of eggs, any style 875. Tim Gunn 876. Anna Gunn 877. Anything/anyone that goes by “Anna Banana” 878. The Chiquita lady 879. Carmen Sandiego 880. The ghost from Ghostwriter 881. Patrick Swayze’s ghost in Ghost 882. Patrick Swayze 883. A common household ghost 884. Casper the friendly ghost 885. Gaspar, Casper’s forgotten, unfriendly brother 886. G.I. Jane 887. G.I. Joe 888. Joe Blow 889. Joe Biden 890. Joe Budden 891. A cute button 892. A nice doilie 893. A happy little bush 894. A Richard Hole who goes by the name Dick, and is accordingly known by his close acquaintances as “Dick Hole” 895. Him 896. Her 897. The person nearest to you right now who is not Benedict Cumberbatch 898. The person farthest from you right now who is not Benedict Cumberbatch 899. Adam Frucci 900. Adam 901. Eve 902. The snake 903. Simon Cowell 904. Ryan Seacrest 905. Julianne Hough 906. Arianna Huffington 907. Marissa Mayer 908. John Mayer 909. Mayor Quimby 910. Jeff Probst 911. Jeff Bezos 912. An Amazon delivery drone with a smiley face drawn onto it 913. This 914. Julian Assange 915. Sandor “The Hound” Clegane 916. This 917. Adam Levine

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