"No email has ever found me well."
Gabi, let us know next time before you snatch our edges!
I'm inclined to believe Gucci and goats is a vibe.
You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll say, "WTF?!"
Consider this my new reply to just about everything.
Now you don't have to see "In Case You Missed It" or tweets other people liked.
"For the past year and a half a FORMER team member has been the only one with access to the account," the rapper tweeted.
"Boys always assume that sending nudes is what grabs a gal's attention, when what really grabs their attention is the patronage of the esteemed Lady Catherine de Bourgh."
"Nothing is worse than reading your kid a bedtime story and flipping to a page with a bunch of words."
Whatever fail you've committed, it wasn't as awkward as these.
Girls be like "can you get my lip gloss from my purse? Just reach in and head left, take a right at the wallet then turn left til you pass 3 nutrigrain bars..."
"I'm all panic and no disco."
Consider your Friday *~BLESSED~*.
SQUIRT 👏 SQUIRT 👏 SQUIRT. 👏
"Wer noch nie eine Plastikschüssel auf dem Herd geschmolzen hat, werfe den ersten Tupperdeckel!"
Attorneys general from California, Louisiana, and Texas are attending, those states have told BuzzFeed News.
„Das macht Mobbing mit einem. Es geht nicht einfach weg.“
This is pretty much a perfect insight into Directioner Twitter.
They're entitled as hell.
Is this my cry for help?
A group representing Google, Facebook, Amazon, and others has slammed the Australian government's draft encryption legislation.
If you can't break the rules, just bend them. Hard.
"How to apply mascara: Pull wand from tube. Open your eyes like a haunted doll coming to life."
The Cardi / Nicki drama continues...
"If you want to read Shrek’s favourite verse in the Bible, just open up to Psalm-BODY ONCE TOLD ME."
I'm not crying, you're crying.
Taking these superheroes down a notch.
Apple's App Store guidelines for developers forbid apps with "content that is offensive, insensitive, upsetting, intended to disgust, or in exceptionally poor taste."
🎶"Say it ain't so / I will not go / Turn the lights off / Cotton Eye Joe." 🎶
“You inspired me throughout high school, and I wouldn’t be where I was today without you,” Post Malone tweeted.
"I used to think the phrase 'drinking and driving' referred to ALL beverages."
Federal regulators are cracking down on sales of deadly illegal drugs on social marketing platforms, a problem pointed out by the researcher.
Auf Twitter überlegen sich die Leute, welche Wortwitz-Namen sich Bordelle, Anwaltskanzleien oder Schulen geben würden – und das Ergebnis ist unglaublich lustig!
"Tbh means thinking 'bout Halloween."
If you don't laugh maybe get your soul checked.
Goldblum cannot be contained. Goldblum breaks free. Goldblum... finds a way.
"We took this action based on new reports of Tweets and videos posted yesterday that violate our abusive behavior policy, in addition to the accounts’ previous violations."
The Department of Justice has issued a massive complaint alleging years of hacking by a North Korean spy.
"So, umm...now that the movie is over, can we circle back to Bobby and Janet? Because I need answers."
"Michael would never have done that!"
"Bobby ain't even 50, y'all. He lived at least five lives. Jesus!"
"Tonight’s your special night, do something magical."
"Wie sehr hassen Sie Menschen?" – "Ich gebe ihnen meine IBAN ohne Leerzeichen."
"Sending good energy and love to Drake and family and crew."
"Nike about to be be the only N word white people stop saying."
"You do what you have to do to be able to do what you love. That’s. Called. Grit."
"FaceTime with the pot of water so it doesn't boil over while you watch TV in the other room."
Brb, laughing hysterically.