Twitter Was A Hilarious Dumpster Fire Last Week, So Here Are 26 Of The Funniest Tweets From The Week
"How do I form meaningful friendships as an adult without enrolling in grad school or joining a cult?"
Welcome. It's once again time to round up the funniest tweets from last week, and I apologize for being a day late — I was too busy WebMD'ing my symptoms yesterday after catching a bug in New York (prayerz it's not tuberculosis). Anyway, enough about me, last week was randomly one of the funniest weeks on X (formerly Twitter), so without further ado:
1.
I told my 3yo Elliot I saw a deer in our yard & he goes “I’ll tell the other Elliots” and I laughed, then later he explained he said that bc in an ep of Thomas a diesel train named Diesel said “ill tell the other diesels” which is smart but also how confusing must it be to be 3
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) October 3, 2023
2.
is this what the lady seen on the plane ???? pic.twitter.com/A7SvSfBrpd
— barbiana ♓️ (@ashdaminajj910) October 8, 2023
3.
You think Miss Fossil Fuel is flying commercial?? https://t.co/5Vc55GvgGP
— Rose Dommu (@rosedommu) October 7, 2023
4.
Friend making normal wages- “no worries bro, I’ll cover this one. You got next!”
— mewtru •ᴗ• (@trunarla) October 1, 2023
Friend who works in tech making over 300k- “can you Venmo me $3.74 for the sip of my drink you took?”
5.
Shopping for a nice big area rug! I’ve never shopped for rugs before, I’m assuming they’re around $50-$100. Excited to see what I find!
— Michael Benjamin (@mfbenji) October 3, 2023
6.
is this your first time at a cinema https://t.co/wG9VAq3Crr
— AARON (@lidolmix) October 4, 2023
7.
If I ever win the lottery I won’t tell anyone but there will be signs: https://t.co/h857N3Kwr8
— Yee Hawttie (@CrocMartens) October 6, 2023
8.
happy national bf day to the 6 month situationship that derailed my life but will live on in my heart forever
— samantha (@milkygoddess) October 3, 2023
9.
Boy do I have a university fall wind ensemble concert for you https://t.co/CDiPJ8q3bV
— Robert Komaniecki (@Komaniecki_R) October 6, 2023
10.
Little job I was on this morning client apologised cos there dog has anxiety and he’s only comfortable around people with his teddy 😂🥺 pic.twitter.com/DYIEep2vlW
— Callum (@Callum_Walker96) October 6, 2023
11.
this would collect more dust than a bible on an atheist’s shelf https://t.co/30cFdt4YNd
— emily (@uhhmmily) October 7, 2023
12.
taylor collecting recent divorcées like they're pokemon https://t.co/bDCtvGotmq
— rosie (@folklorrian) October 2, 2023
13.
My cousin’s 6th-grade breakup is kind of iconic pic.twitter.com/ZESb3BTy4f
— claire rogers (@kclairerogers) October 8, 2023
14.
Can u imagine coming home STARVING and opening ur fridge to this https://t.co/u5KfSEkLtl
— akosua (@nejiism) October 2, 2023
15.
When you check the furniture website and the home page says "We are the tellers of a story not commonly told" and it's like okay I guess they're not doing a sale
— Anna Drezen (@annadrezen) October 4, 2023
16.
I seen this yesterday and it took me outttttt😭 pic.twitter.com/0Mlp8Rw7Dn
— thee houston hairstylist🌻 (@desdollas) October 6, 2023
18.
how do I form meaningful friendships as an adult without enrolling in grad school or joining a cult
— abby govindan (@abbygov) October 6, 2023
19.
My girl wanted some flowers so I stole all the roses in the store pic.twitter.com/TlMogQvYlg
— natural born hustler 💲 (@202kevoo) October 6, 2023
20.
what — and i cannot emphasize this enough — are thooooooose pic.twitter.com/uMy7kxR2n2
— Max Steele (@maxasteele) October 6, 2023
21.
i think being washed in a washing machine would feel really good
— 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐞 (@prettytheyswag) October 5, 2023
22.
Harry Potter and the prison of pic.twitter.com/CuThzgqjuk
— Out of Context Human Race (@NoContextHumans) October 5, 2023
23.
Don’t worry babe, dinner is on me pic.twitter.com/QZO3w69Kvs
— lisly ִ ࣪𖤐 (@Lislyyyyy) October 5, 2023
25.
me when i pay in cash and my bank account stays the same pic.twitter.com/8SgqNkuOJd
— m ✨ (@PRADAXBBY) October 5, 2023
26.
“Would you like your receipt printed or emailed?” I would like to feel joy again
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) October 4, 2023