Just 40 Extremely Funny Viral Tweets By Women Last Month
"My office overlooks a river, and today, my boss announced that a Q2 goal is for everyone to comment on the river at least twice a week. Specific examples of 'wow, lotta ducks' and 'what kind of boat do you suppose that is' were cited, and I am once again yearning for the mines."
The passage of time is a funny thing. Just as fashion trends fall in and out of style, so, too, do Februarys come and go. (In other words, it's March, and millennials are officially old.)
i regret to inform all of you millennials that the lace trim camis have returned.
— emily (@emilykmay) February 27, 2024
Make sure you follow all these hilarious ladies on Twitter!
1.
having a bunch of knick knacks in your home is fun until it comes time to move & then you're like "i'm stupid.. i'm so stupid..."
— lily hoang-zhu 🍉 (@liliuhms) February 26, 2024
2.
Nelly Furtado: I’m like a bird, I’ll only fly away
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) February 23, 2024
A bird: you’ve got me there
Nelly: I don’t know where my soul is
A bird: pardon
3.
ive realized my older cat is the neopet and my kitten is his petpet
— jamie loftus 🌭 (@jamieloftusHELP) February 28, 2024
this tweet is for people born on the exact same day as me
4.
- CIA https://t.co/AaQaXuR9FP
— Ashley Reese (@offbeatorbit) February 12, 2024
5.
guy next to me on the bus is just on his phone ai-generating pictures of guys playing baseball with baguettes instead of bats. just the same prompt over and over
— largest rodent (@capybaroness) February 21, 2024
6.
having an anxiety disorder is so funny like what do you mean i’m just minding my business and suddenly my fight or flight is activated and i have to poop about it
— mar (@itsmariannnna) February 26, 2024
7.
My 7yo strapped this abomination into my shopping cart.
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) February 26, 2024
I'm getting looks. pic.twitter.com/zPQs2LgGic
8.
my boyfriend just called to tell me he's eating an orange he found in a parking lot and I'm now realizing we're going to have to have a discussion about "found ground food".
— clair with the "esq" (@nastywomanatlaw) February 18, 2024
9.
I just kissed the guy in the coffee shop hello bc I thought he was my date. He was the only one in there & looked like he was waiting for coffee. Knelt down to pet smalls. So I kissed him hello. He then asked if I wanted anything and then took off his coat and was an employee.
— Jamie Klingler (@jamieklingler) February 26, 2024
10.
Ugh, my Monday schedule is JAM PACKED pic.twitter.com/p8n0efuFOS
— Brooke Preston (@bigu) February 5, 2024
11.
The first few notes of Yeah are like sleeper agent trigger words that activate older millennials
— Amy A (@lolennui) February 12, 2024
12.
i love a murder mystery movie. i'm not trying to solve shit, i'm out here hooting and hollering for every single red herring and twist like i have one singular functioning brain cell
— nicole fegan (@itsnicolefegan) February 4, 2024
13.
No matter how bad a day I’m having at work at least there’s no point during which I have to run 1 mile for a grade right after eating then change back into my clothes and resume work.
— Mary (@AnniemuMary) February 5, 2024
14.
Never in a million years did I think this was going to be the topic of the vent pic.twitter.com/9qq1Ioj8RG
— Danielle (@toepacktoe) February 15, 2024
15.
the kate middleton drama is hard because i don't care about the royal family or conspiracy theories, however, i do care about being in everyone's business
— deanna mcdonald (@deannagmcdonald) February 27, 2024
16.
Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are the real life version of Frog and Toad
— Keara Sullivan (@superkeara) February 12, 2024
17.
My bf is hunting (on a work call) while I’m gathering (saving Instagram reels to show him when it’s over)
— eliza (@elizamclamb) February 6, 2024
18.
My office overlooks a river, and today, my boss announced that a Q2 goal is for everyone to comment on the river at least twice a week. Specific examples of "wow, lotta ducks" and "what kind of boat do you suppose that is?" were cited, and I am once again yearning for the mines.
— McErin☘️ (@colleen_eileen) February 22, 2024
19.
if taylor swift doesnt start dating a journalist soon this entire industry is going to collapse
— jen rice (@jen_rice_) February 23, 2024
20.
Oldest daughter representation is that one really annoying rabbit in Robin Hood who keeps bossing around/narcing on her siblings but also she has an age-inappropriate crush on the hot fox pic.twitter.com/9C6Tw5OfQK
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) February 8, 2024
21.
9yo (frustrated and crying): I just want to read my book, but I keep having to talk to people and do chores!
— Annie Morgan (@annie_m_morgan) February 18, 2024
22.
every time i have an “i’m back in high school/college and have to go to a class i’ve been skipping all semester” dream my dream self thinks “man its pretty weird i always dream about this and now it’s actually happening”. Ur so close dude come on
— zou bisou bisou where are you (@lilgrapefruits) February 15, 2024
23.
Just saw madam web at this theater in Maine……the chairs were office chairs and they didn’t dim the lights all the way…. Perfect viewing experience for a perfect movie pic.twitter.com/U2Ly4Tvl8b
— Dana Bell (@_dana_bell) February 25, 2024
24.
I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.
— Beth McColl (@imbethmccoll) February 14, 2024
25.
I was just trying to write, "I'm a reporter at the L.A. Times," but my email's auto-complete had other, darker ideas pic.twitter.com/9syjysocIx
— Laura J. Nelson 🦅 (@laura_nelson) February 15, 2024
26.
that emotionally unavailable 33 year old man will not save you
— abby govindan (@abbygov) February 29, 2024
27.
I like how it looks as if he's holding the mascot back from saxing someone to death pic.twitter.com/i0qCRLlo0Z
— the federalist stinks!!!! (@rajandelman) February 29, 2024
28.
i physically cannot make a spotify playlist without adding every song i’ve ever liked. i’ll start one called “sad :(” and it’ll end up with temperature by sean paul on it
— chase (@_chase_____) February 23, 2024
29.
my 2yo demanded a "skateboard song" at bedtime (idk how he knows what a skateboard is ???) and i told him i did not know a skateboard song but he insisted and so i sang "sk8er boi" and he went straight to sleep.
— emily petrini (@emilykmay) February 20, 2024
30.
Does Wes Anderson know about this? https://t.co/74akXqUJnp
— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) February 26, 2024
31.
I love being a cat owner. They’re such easy pets to- STOP ATTACKING THE CURTAINS! QUIT EATING THE PLASTIC BAG YOU ALMOST DIED LAST TIME- but like I was saying very low maintenance pets
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) February 17, 2024
32.
There should be a “Council Of Drunk Bathroom Girls” you can go to and consult with when you need advice
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) February 26, 2024
33.
You’re not my real can pic.twitter.com/67RvdATPcc
— meghan (@deloisivete) February 24, 2024
34.
job application https://t.co/BYlOAcPVmJ
— Hadas Weiss (@weiss_hadas) February 26, 2024
35.
guys do NOT fall for "bond repairing" hair products. i've been using mine for like a month but i haven't seen ANY improvements in my relationship with my dad
— Rads (@_radsy) February 24, 2024
36.
NYT Connections loves trying to call me uneducated over and over again. Tinder grinder bumble and hinge? Nice try, i learned my lesson after sponge bob square pants
— abby govindan (@abbygov) February 20, 2024
37.
Straight friend: Will you sensitivity read my book for my lesbian best friend character?
— Heather Hogan (@theheatherhogan) February 26, 2024
Me, two weeks later: The lesbian best friend is absolutely perfect. Here's 16 pages of notes detailing the incorrect things you said about Star Trek.
38.
if i was NPR’s competitor i would put on a concert with the biggest fucking desk you’ve ever seen
— cass city (@HeavenlyGrandpa) February 17, 2024
39.
I love talking about "The Bear" with my service industry friends because we just call it "the panic attack show"
— Kimberly 🧜🏻♀️ Dinaro💲 (@KimberlyDinaro) February 28, 2024
40.
In the past month Taylor Swift has continued a world tour, won her 14th Grammy, announced her 11th new album, and watched her boyfriend play in the Super Bowl and I’ve been “getting ready to dust” for the past two weeks.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) February 11, 2024
Don't miss the funniest tweets by women in January:
46 Tweets By Women Last Month That Are So, So, So, So, Soooooo Outrageously Hilarious