"Heard a woman in Target ask her kid ‘is that a smart choice to make with your money?’ and now I wish she would follow me around the store, too." —@oneawkwardmom
"The problem with modern rom-coms is everyone is too clever and quippy. Let me watch two bumbling morons struggle through a low-stakes conversation, PLEASE." —@caitiedelaney
"it happened to me: i finally answered an email i had been putting off & the person responded right away & now i'm back to square one" —@sarahroseetter
"My daughter told me that I should be a little faster with her laundry and asked if I could fold things a little neater. She had a whole near-death experience and didn’t even realize." —@KatieDeal99
I'm not saying these items are haunted, but I'm not NOT saying that, either. 👻
"Flagrant arrogance. I was with a guy who told me, very confidently, that he surely was the biggest I've ever been with. I tried to change the subject to avoid responding, but he said it again. I had to tell him that he definitely wasn't the biggest, and I silently realized that he was actually the smallest — and I hadn't been comparing before!" 😒🍆
"If there was more than one John Fetterman, what would you even do about it. What makes you think you could even stop them…" —@Srirachachau 👨🦲🥸
Literally nothing could have prepared me for how cursed some of these images are.
"I had day surgery today (nothing big) and they were like 'don't make any important decisions in the next 24 hours bc you might not remember them.' But I had to go grocery shopping. Later Morgan was like 'you bought ... so much, like a lot, of cheese.'" —@beatonna
"If you want to feel better about your parenting, my 14-year-old asked if she could be a six-pack of beer with her friends for Halloween." —@ksujulie
"My brother and I used to play a game we made up called 'bus stop.' I thought it was a totally normal and fun thing until I was much older, and my friend pointed out that this 'game' was literally just the two of us wandering around aimlessly while eating popsicles."
"I had day surgery today (nothing big) and they were like 'don't make any important decisions in the next 24 hours bc you might not remember them.' But I had to go grocery shopping. Later Morgan was like 'you bought ... so much, like a lot, of cheese.'" —@beatonna
"it happened to me: i finally answered an email i had been putting off & the person responded right away & now i'm back to square one" —@sarahroseetter
"it happened to me: i finally answered an email i had been putting off & the person responded right away & now i'm back to square one" —@sarahroseetter
"Have never identified more with anyone than I just did with the woman who walked into the grocery store in front of me, shook her head, said 'I can’t be making these kinds of decisions today' and walked right back out" —@ambernoelle
"Took my 8yo to the museum and she asked if every picture was the Mona Lisa then when we left she made sure to tell the people in line 'don’t bother, this museum doesn’t even have the Mona Lisa'" —@IHideFromMyKids
"i wonder if foreigners realize that they will never hate Americans as much as Americans hate other Americans, like bro, the east and west coast start discourse every 2–3 business days over who’s better, and Texas daydreams about beating the breaks off Oklahoma, y’all can’t touch us." —@dianelyssa
"The problem with modern rom-coms is everyone is too clever and quippy. Let me watch two bumbling morons struggle through a low-stakes conversation, PLEASE." —@caitiedelaney
Literally nothing could have prepared me for how cursed some of these images are.
"He was just very moist. He'd sweat profusely every time we were intimate and slobbered all over me when he kissed me. And he ALWAYS had to be on top, so it was like I was getting rained on."
