After posting a series of withering articles about J.K. Rowling and her anti-trans rhetoric, the Onion told BuzzFeed that the author is "a billionaire with a penchant for spreading misery" and that they "regret only that it took this long for us to find a pointed manner to highlight her unthinking hatred."
"Someone asked if my friend from high school was my son so obviously the haircut I got yesterday was a wise choice." —@HollyBallantine
"i love when bands are like 'we haven’t played our most popular three songs but we’re leaving the stage now…..don’t ask us to come back out….we won’t do it…..don’t even think about chanting…..'" —@_chase_____
"I’m not arguing with anyone who has their own picture as their lock screen. I stepped out of line and I apologize." —@jaxajueny
"European countries should actually call out their own racism instead of excusing it as part of their European culture."
"does anyone know a good divorce lawyer? my husband asked what I was reading and I said, 'a room of one's own' and he replied, 'I actually prefer rooms with two or three zones'" —@BrotiGupta
"I know a life coach who charges $300-500 per person for a 'seminar' that's just four hours of her leading yoga and breathing exercises and telling everyone they're doing great. Absolutely wild."
"I hate saying I have an 'open marriage' bc it’s misleading. We’re only allowed to sleep with people who can help our careers" —@mesallyann
"Just like Jimmy Carter gave up his peanut farm to become president, I'd sacrifice everything I own just to be with you. 🥜😉💸"
"I found out my girlfriend was using fake social media accounts to bully and harass other women — including my ex wife. Instantly dumped."
"I’m not arguing with anyone who has their own picture as their lock screen. I stepped out of line and I apologize." —@jaxajueny
"i love when bands are like 'we haven’t played our most popular three songs but we’re leaving the stage now…..don’t ask us to come back out….we won’t do it…..don’t even think about chanting…..'" —@_chase_____
"Someone asked if my friend from high school was my son so obviously the haircut I got yesterday was a wise choice." —@HollyBallantine
"parents get so bent up when you claim to love your pet like a child but the fact is i love my dog a lot more than some of your dads loved you." —@missmayn
"does anyone know a good divorce lawyer? my husband asked what I was reading and I said, 'a room of one's own' and he replied, 'I actually prefer rooms with two or three zones'" —@BrotiGupta
"European countries should actually call out their own racism instead of excusing it as part of their European culture."
After posting a series of withering articles about J.K. Rowling and her anti-trans rhetoric, the Onion told BuzzFeed that the author is "a billionaire with a penchant for spreading misery" and that they "regret only that it took this long for us to find a pointed manner to highlight her unthinking hatred."
"I know a life coach who charges $300-500 per person for a 'seminar' that's just four hours of her leading yoga and breathing exercises and telling everyone they're doing great. Absolutely wild."
"I hate saying I have an 'open marriage' bc it’s misleading. We’re only allowed to sleep with people who can help our careers" —@mesallyann
"Yeah taxes are stressful but you ever have a server pull up a chair to your table, then sit down and explain how the restaurant works while making unwavering eye contact" —@KathrynKvas
