21 Of The Absolute Funniest Tweets By Women This Week
"When you check the furniture website and the home page says 'We are the tellers of a story not commonly told' and it's like okay I guess they're not doing a sale" —@annadrezen
This week, Kevin McCarthy was voted out as House Speaker, bed bugs walked the runway during Paris Fashion Week, and my neighbor blasted "All Too Well (10 Minute Version)" every day. That last one isn't newsworthy, but everyone, please send her good vibes because that woman is going through something.
So I guess the House can’t do anything until they have a new speaker? Almost like when they did have a speaker
— Ginny Hogan (@ginnyhogan_) October 3, 2023
Make sure you follow all these hilarious ladies on Twitter!
1.
lana del rey just said “isn’t it cool that we’re playing on a full moon tonight” and everyone turned around to look at the moon and it was not full at all
— paige hettinger (@404paigenotfnd) October 2, 2023
2.
Love driving home from TJ Maxx, my car full of $76 worth of absolutely nothing, wolfing down my disgusting little snack mix from a made up company called like “PopFactory Krinkle Snacks Inc” that I found in the same aisle as dog toys
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) October 4, 2023
3.
and a three point kick is kind of when they gag them a bit
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) October 2, 2023
4.
Family guy is so insane bc why were ppl dating that dog
— Bones• (@boneseyy) October 4, 2023
5.
i’ve never gotten more traction on hinge than i have from this prompt. what does this say about society pic.twitter.com/LslQZYdIDZ
— meredith (@dietz_meredith) October 5, 2023
6.
dad called to talk for 20 min about how big the potatoes at costco used to be
— Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) October 3, 2023
7.
I wish Taylor Swift was in love with a climate scientist
— Katja Herbers (@katjaherbers) October 5, 2023
8.
the “meet me in the restroom” was very forward for a 5th grader but then it makes sense when you find out she’s trying to throw hands
— ashley ray (@theashleyray) October 4, 2023
9.
My closest encounter with the mafia is I went to a starkly empty pizza place in Rhode Island once, they seemed utterly confused that I wanted a pizza, it took 45 minutes to make, they gave it to me for free, and it was the best pizza I’d ever had.
— Jessica Ellis (@baddestmamajama) October 4, 2023
10.
If you went to Paris, I heard the best way not to bring back bed bugs us to tear up your passport before you head to the airport. Hope this helps!
— SCAM GODDESS (@DivaLaci) October 4, 2023
11.
When you check the furniture website and the home page says "We are the tellers of a story not commonly told" and it's like okay I guess they're not doing a sale
— Anna Drezen (@annadrezen) October 4, 2023
12.
when the friend with the studio apartment hosts the hang pic.twitter.com/t2bQ0uQOMW
— chase (@_chase_____) October 3, 2023
13.
(me finding out the bedbugs are in paris):
— Emily Bernstein (@emilybern) October 2, 2023
Omg they're totally getting engaged
14.
*touches his circumcision scar* i’m sorry i couldn’t protect you
— ghost 𖤐 (@ghostcoochie) October 5, 2023
15.
Gen Z, please heed my warning : Ballet flats are coming back in style but do not go down this road.
— Julie S. Lalonde (@JulieSLalonde) October 5, 2023
They might seem cute & practical, but you will stress about going to someone's house because the smell of your feet once you take those shoes off is KILLER
16.
I was doing a late night debugging session and I couldn't figure something out
— Cassidy (@cassidoo) October 3, 2023
and then I googled it
and the first result with my answer
was a blog post
that I wrote
17.
Stop making us get a fucking app for every store or restaraunt or whatever omg this 85-year-old woman doesn’t want a fucking app Staples she wants ONE REAM OF PRINTER PAPER
— danielle weisberg for hire (@danielleweisber) October 2, 2023
18.
shoutout to our rideshare driver Henry who told us young people tip well but rich people don’t & also he got kicked out of every school he went to (7 total) bc he loved to fight. he had a woman stop him 4x to throw up tn and drove us over a curb for a u-turn.
— Annie Wu (all socials: @annie_wu_22) (@Annie_Wu_22) September 30, 2023
he was so real.
19.
I yawned in the club last night and my homegirl said “don’t piss me off” 😭
— full-snack developer 🇭🇹 (@notdanilu) October 1, 2023
20.
I told my 3yo Elliot I saw a deer in our yard & he goes “I’ll tell the other Elliots” and I laughed, then later he explained he said that bc in an ep of Thomas a diesel train named Diesel said “ill tell the other diesels” which is smart but also how confusing must it be to be 3
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) October 3, 2023
21.
Is there any way this country could be victim to a mass gas leak and that is why everyone is acting so deranged
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) October 2, 2023
Don't miss the funniest tweets by women last week:
21 Viral Tweets By Women That Are So, So, So, So, SOOOO Outrageously Hilarious
...or the funniest tweets by women in September!
I Cannot Overstate How Wildly Hilarious These 52 Tweets By Women Are