22 Genuinely Hilarious Tweets By Women That Made Me HOWL With Laughter
"my boyfriend just called to tell me he's eating an orange he found in a parking lot and I'm now realizing we're going to have to have a discussion about 'found ground food.'" —@nastywomanatlaw
Good news, everyone — Twitter has been pretty fun again recently, just like the old days! Exhibit A: these 22 funny tweets by women from the past week.
i've looped around and instead of being envious of people who left twitter, i now think they're weak and i love everyone who stayed
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) February 22, 2024
Make sure you follow all these hilarious ladies on Twitter!
1.
My office overlooks a river, and today, my boss announced that a Q2 goal is for everyone to comment on the river at least twice a week. Specific examples of "wow, lotta ducks" and "what kind of boat do you suppose that is?" were cited, and I am once again yearning for the mines.
— McErin☘️ (@colleen_eileen) February 22, 2024
2.
guy next to me on the bus is just on his phone ai-generating pictures of guys playing baseball with baguettes instead of bats. just the same prompt over and over
— largest rodent (@capybaroness) February 21, 2024
3.
if screens bad why watching big screen while holding little screen feel so good
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) February 22, 2024
4.
I put this in my calendar like two years ago as a joke but boy pic.twitter.com/lmogSK7hGr
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) February 21, 2024
5.
NYT Connections loves trying to call me uneducated over and over again. Tinder grinder bumble and hinge? Nice try, i learned my lesson after sponge bob square pants
— abby govindan (@abbygov) February 20, 2024
6.
When I don’t want to do something, I just break it down into little steps. All of which I don’t want to do either.
— Late to the party Laura (@ericamorecambe) February 20, 2024
7.
My mum has hers as “It’s complicated” and refuses to accept my dad’s friend request on Facebook despite them being married and living in the same house https://t.co/FLjOCfxY2J
— Grace (@graceyldn) February 20, 2024
8.
my brain is toast i think pic.twitter.com/aT4Ub1cHcD
— rachel (@rachelmillman) February 16, 2024
9.
my boyfriend just called to tell me he's eating an orange he found in a parking lot and I'm now realizing we're going to have to have a discussion about "found ground food".
— clair with the "esq" (@nastywomanatlaw) February 18, 2024
10.
Never in a million years did I think this was going to be the topic of the vent pic.twitter.com/9qq1Ioj8RG
— Danielle (@toepacktoe) February 15, 2024
11.
9yo (frustrated and crying): I just want to read my book, but I keep having to talk to people and do chores!
— Annie Morgan (@annie_m_morgan) February 18, 2024
12.
every time i have an “i’m back in high school/college and have to go to a class i’ve been skipping all semester” dream my dream self thinks “man its pretty weird i always dream about this and now it’s actually happening”. Ur so close dude come on
— zou bisou bisou where are you (@lilgrapefruits) February 15, 2024
13.
I was just trying to write, "I'm a reporter at the L.A. Times," but my email's auto-complete had other, darker ideas pic.twitter.com/9syjysocIx
— Laura J. Nelson 🦅 (@laura_nelson) February 15, 2024
14.
i’m nosey but idk if i’m a 50 part tik tok nosey.
— fran fine. (@C0URTMICHELE) February 19, 2024
15.
i physically cannot make a spotify playlist without adding every song i’ve ever liked. i’ll start one called “sad :(” and it’ll end up with temperature by sean paul on it
— chase (@_chase_____) February 23, 2024
16.
The big bottle of soy sauce is empty.
— Dr Laura Eastlake (@VictorianMasc) February 20, 2024
Inner chaos-voice: “Fill it full of Diet Coke and casually sip from it in staff meetings, just to freak people out?” pic.twitter.com/tZwNrdbynl
17.
my 2yo demanded a "skateboard song" at bedtime (idk how he knows what a skateboard is ???) and i told him i did not know a skateboard song but he insisted and so i sang "sk8er boi" and he went straight to sleep.
— emily petrini (@emilykmay) February 20, 2024
18.
I love being a cat owner. They’re such easy pets to- STOP ATTACKING THE CURTAINS! QUIT EATING THE PLASTIC BAG YOU ALMOST DIED LAST TIME- but like I was saying very low maintenance pets
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) February 17, 2024
19.
No. Target. No. pic.twitter.com/Q39adp3gui
— AlisonIsBossy (@AlisonIsBossy) February 20, 2024
20.
i believe in traditional marriage. the husband should provide the material for the wife to write the personal essays about
— katie kadue (@kukukadoo) February 17, 2024
21.
"Please be more mindful of how expressive your eyebrows can be during meetings when others are speaking" my boss to me after the great 2 truths and a lie incident of February 15, 2024.
— McErin☘️ (@colleen_eileen) February 16, 2024
22.
if i was NPR’s competitor i would put on a concert with the biggest fucking desk you’ve ever seen
— cass city (@HeavenlyGrandpa) February 17, 2024
Don't miss the funniest tweets by women last month:
46 Tweets By Women Last Month That Are So, So, So, So, Soooooo Outrageously Hilarious