These 34 Hilarious Tweets Will Singlehandedly Have Me Laughing Until The End Of The Year, And I Bet They Will For You, Too
"Some of y'all afraid to be corny but I was born on the cob."
Bonjour, hi! The holidays have begun, and I hope you get some restful, rejuvenating time off this season. Either way, take a breath and prepare your gut muscles, because I've got about 34 funny tweets to send you into a fit of belly laughter. Enjoy, happy holidays, and see you in the new year!
1.
me: i gotta stop spending money and start saving!!!
— seosamh 🇵🇸 (@dayglowj0e) December 11, 2023
also me on a monday afternoon for no real reason: pic.twitter.com/S7Tafgg4Wz
2.
deleting dating apps because i want to meet someone the old fashioned way (returning home after quitting my job in the city to help save the local bakery and learn the true meaning of christmas)
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) December 15, 2023
3.
walking into my room like damn who tf closed last night
— ً (@cryst6l) December 12, 2023
4.
You’re not allergic to cats you just haven’t opened your heart to love
— liz unphair (@femaleuncle) December 12, 2023
5.
not a single soul has said 2024 gon be their year yall finally learned yall lesson i see
— Corn ✧⍣ (@upblissed) December 16, 2023
6.
babe, what’s wrong?
— NurseBrianRN (@rn_murse) December 15, 2023
you’ve barely tried to kiss me under the mistletoasters. pic.twitter.com/OFkdr3l1CO
7.
Hilariously impossible work trivia game pic.twitter.com/Jg3y3UVrd3
— max (@punkcorgi) December 14, 2023
8.
My bf said I talked in my sleep last night. Apparently I lifted my head and said “Don’t you EVER.” and then went back to sleep 😂😂😂😂
— Savia (artist)👩🏽🎨🎨 (@saviaivas) December 16, 2023
9.
when i heat up multiple trader joe's frozen meals and call it cooking pic.twitter.com/DNqbdcQ9wi
— erika ✨ (@yeeeerika) December 13, 2023
10.
me adding wet food to my dog’s dry food because he feels comfortable complaining despite being literally on sale at the humane society pic.twitter.com/7LsgJYj7WB
— kenzi (@kenzianidiot) December 14, 2023
11.
some of yall afraid to be corny but i was born on the cob
— jesse (they/them) (@crazyshovellady) December 13, 2023
12.
coworker stuns in new follow-up email
— not mac (@literallynotmac) December 13, 2023
13.
my back after carrying around this fat ass all day pic.twitter.com/5Eo1qrpigf
— tatyana 🐆 (@heluvstat) December 15, 2023
15.
skincare done teeth brushed cosy in bed and just remembered i need to take the bins out, it's just relentless isn't it, you have to stay alive every day until you die
— stephen (@stepheniscowboy) December 17, 2023
16.
god i want to be invited to this so fucking bad pic.twitter.com/6J9E6ywdeS
— horse dentist (@equine__dentist) December 11, 2023
17.
“he doesn’t look good in pictures” like bitch just show me your ugly boyfriend
— olivia (@oliviuuuuhh) December 12, 2023
18.
when youre doing a bit but nobody knows that youre doing a bit so now you just look like a weirdo pic.twitter.com/yt3hKjT7bI
— gilbert (@memetazaa) December 13, 2023
20.
this flight about to be a movie pic.twitter.com/kvNomDwBxd
— emy (@theamazingemy) December 14, 2023
21.
save me world market strawberry kitchen set pic.twitter.com/iKJRzALV54
— bludhaund (@pixikiIler) December 13, 2023
22.
girls night conversation agenda pic.twitter.com/SxCQBtZWI9
— delia (@delia_cai) December 14, 2023
23.
it’s so funny that you need to give a reason when you file for divorce. the government wants the tea!!!!
— Kevin Burke (@Ke7inBurke) December 13, 2023
24.
We were on our way to our family Christmas party and my daughter turned to me and said “if I were a dog my tail would be wagging like crazy right now”
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) December 14, 2023
25.
when you push the vaccum cleaner over a spot of dirt and you hear that crackle pic.twitter.com/yS5dCvoreX
— 𝔐 (@Wheeema) December 17, 2023
26.
Last Christmas I gave u my heart and the very next day you gave me the ick
— Keara Sullivan (@superkeara) December 15, 2023
27.
i'm a sucker for deep convos i wanna know why you're 4'11
— Josué (@sandavidcito) December 15, 2023
28.
the school janitor looking at me after i airball the chocolate milk next to the trash can pic.twitter.com/yuFM9xNTwE
— juju 💰 (@ayeejuju) December 15, 2023
29.
me texting my friends mental health advice when i belong in an asylum pic.twitter.com/VkyVYuOMYL
— jay ✰ (@jayythewxve) December 15, 2023
30.
coke drinkers have the world handed to them on a platter, catered to, coddled, and still they whine + complain, rootbeer heads on the other hand, forged in fire, ripping from the very earth the nectar they need, spat on by the media but smiling thru it all
— (•̀o•́)ง (@ermgrrrrr) December 15, 2023
31.
y'all.... why my air fryer just let out a literal sigh after i plugged it in for the 5th time today😭😭 pic.twitter.com/4tACTmhcBi
— Tre (@treclements) December 15, 2023
32.
whoever car this is y’all know y’all could’ve took it in the house with you pic.twitter.com/7GadeSAccH
— faith (@faiththegemini) December 12, 2023
33.
They don't have any songs where they need to be doing all that pic.twitter.com/iwFtqsHeST
— Matthew (@chillwaveguy) December 15, 2023
34.
In a surprise hallmark twist, the big city exec burns her family’s tree farm to the ground and tells her high school crush to fuck off
— eLeni ❄️ (@eleniZarro) December 16, 2023