I'm Laughing (And Sobbing) At These 50 Tweets About Being A Woman In 2023
"My mom’s 60-something friend was set up with a 67-year-old guy who is 'not looking for anything serious' in case you think that ever ends." —@omgskr
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2023 was a wild year for ladies, so it's time to look back at the 50 tweets that sum up the highs and lows of being a woman this year!
We'll mention it all: the good, the bad, and the ugly.
To start us off, dating in 2023 was ROUGH.
1.
why would u ever want to be friends with benefits with a man? like what benefits are u getting aside from a life lesson
— soup (@jasminericegirl) January 10, 2023
2.
“women won’t date me because of my political opinions” pic.twitter.com/iTALU5Vrmb
— Amy A (@lolennui) November 27, 2023
3.
when a girl doesn't post her boyfriend i think understandable! privacy is everything, when a guy doesn't post his girlfriend i think Wow what a trashcan
— mariana (@pastapilled) September 26, 2023
4.
I am once again thinking about how if Taylor Swift moves to Missouri for Travis Kelce it will literally be the plot of Gone Girl. You can't take an insane blonde who loves cryptic scavenger hunts out of the NY metro area! There will be a body count!
— lox populi (@elizabethbelsky) November 28, 2023
5.
thinking about when i was living with the man i was dating and he told me i couldn’t listen to his vinyl copy of pinkerton because he was saving the first listen for the perfect moment when, one day, he would be single and just moving into a new apartment alone
— miranda (@mirandareinert) May 16, 2023
6.
i was telling my mom how dating is hard because i’m out meeting plenty of people but it seems like everyone my age is already paired off and she goes “maybe you can find a man who’s just woken up from a coma”
— Merry Ellen (@alissacaliente) April 26, 2023
7.
at a bibimbap place and a young guy next to me just said “I’ve actually forgotten how to use forks because I spent so long in Japan” to his date do I say something do I save her
— Stevie Martin (@5tevieM) June 8, 2023
8.
A republican man with a nose ring just flirted with me and it’s like sir which is it
— Blair Socci (@blairsocci) November 27, 2023
9.
enough pic.twitter.com/ox4QzIHEBO
— soup (@jasminericegirl) April 13, 2023
10.
My mom’s 60-something friend was set up with a 67-year-old guy who is “not looking for anything serious” in case you think that ever ends
— Sara K. Runnels (@omgskr) January 8, 2023
11.
My mum is soooooo obsessed with marrying me off because she’s scared I’ll have no kids and be bitter. So, I was like cool, here’s Tinder, swipe on a man you think is decent. 50 minutes later, she hadn’t swiped right on one. She’s understanding the hellscape now
— Alicia. (@AliciaDRxx) July 30, 2023
12.
Yall love saying this generation be using men for money. I was getting ice cream with my guy friend, I go to pay, he stops me and pays. While he’s paying the old lady next to me says, “whenever you’re with a man, remember you left your wallet at home.” Like okay granny.
— niccoya ⭐️ (@niccoyat) October 12, 2023
13.
I’m deleting dating apps and going back to bed with my vibrator pic.twitter.com/jQ83oIlLfC
— abby govindan (@abbygov) March 6, 2023
And married life for women has been rough since the dawn of time.
14.
1950s guy who just had six martinis for lunch, getting back into his cadillac: i wonder what my bitch wife is making for dinner
— yr good friend justice (@clothingweapon) November 12, 2023
housewife, completely zoomed out on lithium: [encasing a whole ham in jell-o]
15.
i just saw my neighbors (a couple) outside smoking, so i went up to introduced myself. without saying a word, the guy immediately went inside and closed the door. then the woman very warmly said “hi! i’m erica. that’s my husband. he’s miserable.”
— girlboss CTE vibes (@mean_worm) June 23, 2023
Honestly, men (both fictional and real) aren't anything to write home about.
16.
i hate when energy drinks are marketed toward men. what could they possible need energy for? telling lies??
— meredith (@dietz_meredith) July 5, 2023
17.
We're watching Love Actually and WHAT was Mark going to do with all that footage of Keira Knightley? Because all possible answers are terrifying.
— Two Time Emmy Winner Ali B (@wtflanksteak) December 11, 2023
18.
Women’s sexual fantasies be like “I wish I ran away from my arranged marriage and a cowboy who was paid by my fiancé tracks me down to take me home but on the way back we get into hijinks and fall in love” and men’s fantasies be like “idk anal”
— meg “Yooper” bitchell (@MeganBitchell) March 30, 2023
20.
men b like She accused me of things that Are true grrrrrr
— ༺𖤐༻ (@G0REMAMl) May 15, 2023
21.
a year into our relationship we were staying at his mum’s place and I started making the bed one morning and he said “babe stop! my mum will do that, she LOVES making the bed for me” https://t.co/wlRP29dCLu
— tori (@doritenholm) April 24, 2023
Being a mom in 2023 was wild.
22.
one day you're young and hot and cool, the next you're putting go go squeez applesauce pouches on subscribe 'n save.
— emily (@emilykmay) November 6, 2023
23.
At 4 my daughter convinced her pre-k class that her dad was eaten by a shark. We are a 2 mom family (never a dad in the picture). Several kids were crying as they ran to the teachers. Didn’t find out about it until the last day of school months later. Now she’s a theater kid. 😏
— Marcie 🏳️🌈 (@jedimarcie) May 17, 2023
24.
My youngest tried to prank me by acting like he was going to drink his bath water, and I told him, “You better not. That’s nothing but butthole soup!”
— Kiss my Fat Ash🍑 (@Tobi_Is_Fab) November 8, 2023
He made a face and said, “That sounds good. Why don’t you start making butthole soup for dinner?”
I’ve met my match.
25.
Shout out to the mom who signed up for paper plates within seconds of the class holiday party list going live
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 13, 2023
26.
I have the same birthday as my mother-in-law, and my 5yo asked if we’re twins. He’s lucky he’s adorable.
— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) May 25, 2023
27.
i just watched a girl get a facetime call from her friend telling her she’s pregnant and she was like squealing “omg yay this is the best news i’m so happy for you” then she hung up and said “that is so fucked up” out loud to no one
— cassandra (@cassbwell) March 17, 2023
Even our bodies make life harder for us.
28.
That poop on the first day of your period should clear up any confusion to what God’s gender is.
— Kyla Jenée Lacey (@Kyla_Lacey) August 28, 2023
29.
gotta apologize to male authors because I just walked down the stairs and it turns out my chest did actually breast boobily
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) February 6, 2023
30.
Girls will suffer unearthly tragedies and still run errands the same day with a smile on their face but if a man’s parents divorce when he is 12 he will unleash his wrath on the world for the rest of his life
— Soup (@soupinthering) October 9, 2023
31.
It is annoying that as soon as a woman turns 30, people start reminding her constantly about her biological clock, but I do appreciate the reminder that women’s time is, indeed, much more valuable than men’s is
— Ginny Hogan (@ginnyhogan_) October 15, 2023
If you thought things were getting better in the workplace...maybe reconsider that opinion.
32.
A guy asked me what it was like to be a woman in the workplace and another guy answered for me.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) September 28, 2023
Nailed it.
33.
Working In Office is soooo degrading why am I biking 3 miles in slacks at 8 am with a jar of beef stew in my backpack
— manic pixie cheese curd, MPH (@tildawhirl) October 17, 2023
But at least women had some political wins this year.
34.
turns out that Having Rights is still inexplicably popular
— Alexandra Petri (@petridishes) November 8, 2023
Because deep down, girls just wanna have fun...
35.
any time i make out with someone outside a bar it’s not embarrassing. i’m actually collecting life experiences. sort of like some of our greatest literary figures
— grace spelman (@GraceSpelman) November 25, 2023
36.
girls night conversation agenda pic.twitter.com/SxCQBtZWI9
— delia (@delia_cai) December 14, 2023
37.
“I’m running late” “okay girl me too” is actually the glue of all friend groups.
— fragrance and foolishness (@Brieyonce) November 26, 2023
38.
mom is pissed off at me because she is repeatedly asking what i’m wearing to thanksgiving dinner and i refuse to tell her but keep insisting that it will be “dripping with sex”
— grace spelman (@GraceSpelman) November 23, 2023
...and what was more fun in 2023 than following Taylor Swift's every move?
39.
I am so inspired by Taylor Swift to have sex with a dumb really stupid deeply idiotic man who worships me
— Kylie Cheung (@kylietcheung) November 17, 2023
40.
pov me telling my parents what surprise songs taylor played tonight like they know wtf im talking about pic.twitter.com/j32vwmZJ2q
— lucille 🤍 NOLA ‘24 (@__theantihero__) November 26, 2023
41.
Hate it for the Swifties, but "your friend in her 30s broke up with the man she's been dating since her 20s, the man you ALL THOUGHT she'd marry, and now you have to deal with at least 18 months of her making the Most Unhinged Dating Choices Imaginable," IS a Phase of Life.
— Rachel Hawkins/Erin Sterling (@LadyHawkins) May 8, 2023
At the end of the day, women in 2023 were just trying our best, so give us a break!!!
42.
She died as she lived: screaming "REPRESENTATIVE" into her phone.
— Lane Moore📚 (@hellolanemoore) November 30, 2023
43.
It finally happened. My neighbor approached me in the hall because she’s concerned my boyfriend is abusive.
— Karen González (@_karenjgonzalez) January 21, 2023
I let her know that when she hears me say, “Stop it, Oscar! That hurts!” I’m actually talking to my cat. I have an abusive cat.
44.
“Who THE FUCK closed last night??” - me to myself in my own apartment because I went to bed without doing the dishes
— shannon. 🇵🇸 (@ohheyitsshanaj) November 24, 2023
45.
never taking a sip of alcohol again pic.twitter.com/5qEU0B7dDM
— hayley from nebraska 🌻 (@yelyahbell) November 10, 2023
46.
Me: I am just going to watch and enjoy this movie and I am not picking up my phone i swear to god
— Amber Sparks (@ambernoelle) November 11, 2023
The movie: *shot of a guy who looks super familiar*
47.
Obsessed with this woman on my flight who’s trying to commandeer an entire overhead compartment for “her hats”
— Danielle Perez she/her (@DivaDelux) October 19, 2023
48.
Someone asked to share my table at a coffee shop and then asked me to leave the table because they have a meeting??? Am I in an episode of Seinfeld??
— Elizabeth Goodspeed (@domesticetch) October 19, 2023
49.
What if I told you this was the work of a 38-year-old woman who was trying her best pic.twitter.com/Mp5wFhxHGh
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) November 21, 2023
50.
I don’t know why I have a headache??? all I do is look at screens much of the day then go out in the sun for hours then grind my teeth all night
— danielle weisberg for hire (@danielleweisber) October 8, 2023