If 2024 Is Anything Like The Last Week On Twitter, It’s Bound To Be Verrry Funny
"Bank account nice and empty, starting the new year on a clean slate." —@iamchriscoro
Welcome back and Happy New Year! The holiday season has officially come to a close, and it's back to work for many of us. But! We'll always have Twitter (X, whatever). <3 So, for the next few minutes, kick back, commiserate, or simply just laugh off the stress with some funny tweets from last week.
1.
“yeah it was good thanks. quiet one. feels good to get back to some normality if im honest haha” pic.twitter.com/h1RJVzabf1
— bally singh (@putasinghonit) January 2, 2024
2.
back to work tomorrow after 10 days off pic.twitter.com/W9w1Jfaodx
— alex (@vodkalemonades) January 1, 2024
3.
Does anyone remember the password to my office computer. And also a single aspect of how my job works.
— Mike Townsend (@townsendyesmate) January 2, 2024
4.
“the average CEO reads 52 books a year” yeah bc they don’t have a JOB
— chase (@_chase_____) January 1, 2024
5.
Bank account nice and empty, starting the new year on a clean slate
— Chris Coro (@iamchriscoro) December 30, 2023
6.
Guys, I had to book a flight for my grandma, and according to her passport, she's born in February, not July, as we have always celebrated. Asked, she said: “Well, you can't celebrate garden parties in February.”
— Berna (@BernaEWriter) December 26, 2023
O_o
7.
gay people can never say "she looks pretty" anymore it's always some shit like "she dropped a bomb on mothershima and cuntasaki"
— lib hitler 🧊 (@libhitler) January 1, 2024
8.
my parents text me like the souls of the damned pic.twitter.com/UZGBjRYLGA
— tori 💫 (@fakeplasticbone) December 31, 2023
9.
why is the big ass one on top... go help the others jacob elordi... https://t.co/X5ctRHGSQI
— blue (@noctblues) January 1, 2024
10.
for the rest of my life i will think about the girl i just sat beside on my flight to toronto who tapped me on the shoulder and held up her phone open to her notes app which read “MY EX BF IS SITTING BEHIND US WITH HIS NEW GF”
— lexi featherston stan updates (@politicalth0t) December 30, 2023
11.
I would love to use my phone here https://t.co/zAhEtgDTaO
— ash (@ashNpuff) December 31, 2023
12.
nah im full af, finna save the rest for later pic.twitter.com/reQyuLhze0
— 🎀 (@niaasf_) December 29, 2023
13.
14.
i’ve never laughed so hard in my life pic.twitter.com/Dij2eG3neU
— julia (@ikealuvr69) December 31, 2023
15.
there’s a white couple out there ready to tackle this https://t.co/qBU4Tcol27
— kira 👾 (@kirawontmiss) January 1, 2024
16.
your parents house have everything you need except peace
— ☔ (@Whotfismick) December 29, 2023
17.
He weaponized the hell out of that incompetence https://t.co/x7TbS0IEVe
— Naya Papaya (@OhNayaPapaya) January 1, 2024
18.
“I don’t want the orange juice with the fruit meat”. - my 6yo referring to pulp as fruit meat
— Princess (@themultiplemom) January 1, 2024
19.
imagine getting your dessert gerrymandered https://t.co/J1BwXjR4tr
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) January 1, 2024
20.
DECEASED! Thats what you are… https://t.co/NdnIJTI6Zh
— Juicy Gentleman (@DariusAmore) January 1, 2024
21.
My friend got a tattoo on his arm that says “comparison is the thief of joy” and I’m really debating getting the same tattoo on my arm but a little bit bigger
— gianmarco (@GianmarcoSoresi) January 2, 2024
22.
everyone always asking questions these days instead of just fucking with a raw vibe whenever they see one it’s so sad https://t.co/gzRCMbTx4E
— a dirk diggler fan (@smiskiclub) December 29, 2023
23.
Global warming stuns in new video https://t.co/2PP4lJWs4f
— rev (@whyrev) January 1, 2024