20 Hilarious Tweets By Parents That Made Me Scream-Laugh
"Being a parent to a toddler is messing with my vocab. Told someone that I was sorry I was late because I got stuck waiting on a choo choo train to pass" —@treydayway
Congrats to everyone who just got pregnant in the past week or so, and remember to make sure your future kid knows exactly when and why they were born!!!
my dad texted me this completely unprompted (i was born exactly 9 months after valentine’s day) 🫥 pic.twitter.com/vaKZRLboF2
— jemima puddle-duck (@heyyitsdidi) February 15, 2024
Make sure you follow all these hilarious parents on Twitter!
1.
My 6yo got home from school and crawled into bed with a tube of pringles, so I guess it was a rough day in kindergarten
— meghan (@deloisivete) February 21, 2024
2.
when my teenager was diagnosed w/ADHD, the therapist talked to us about how ADHD manifests differently in girls, and as she read through the list, every single one of us turned to my ex husband and all at once were like OMG YOU HAVE ADHD BUT FOR GIRLS & he got diagnosed next lol
— Luna the Moth (@LunaTheMoth) February 19, 2024
3.
My 5yo: I AM GOING TO TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT A DRAGON AND LETTUCE.
— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) February 20, 2024
Me *after ten minutes of story*: Let’s wrap it up, Babe.
5yo: AND THEN EVERYONE DIED.
Me: That’ll work.
4.
My daughter said all the kids were in school talking about whose dad would win in a race.
— Khairy Creek (@KhairyCreek) February 21, 2024
She said that they all agreed to ask their dads to be in the race. I asked why she didn’t ask me to race.
She looked at me. She looked at my stomach. Then we drove home in silence
5.
No. Target. No. pic.twitter.com/Q39adp3gui
— AlisonIsBossy (@AlisonIsBossy) February 20, 2024
6.
Being a parent to a toddler is messing with my vocab. Told someone that I was sorry I was late because I got stuck waiting on a choo choo train to pass
— Trey (@treydayway) February 18, 2024
7.
Good news! My 8YO says she is halfway done with the story she started telling last Monday
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) February 22, 2024
8.
There's an ambulance outside as we walk into a store, and when my husband says that someone must be sick or hurt, my 7yo loudly proclaims, "BUT WHY would they 𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 them to Walmart?!"
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) February 20, 2024
9.
whenever i see a little kid walking around i’m like damn they really nailed it with “toddlers”
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) February 21, 2024
10.
Please keep my 10 yo in your thoughts and prayers this morning. He has to take a shower and it has "ruined his life's plans".
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) February 22, 2024
11.
9yo (frustrated and crying): I just want to read my book, but I keep having to talk to people and do chores!
— Annie Morgan (@annie_m_morgan) February 18, 2024
12.
with both parents in the hospital the second most asked question i get after “how are they” is “how is your husband doing with the kids when you’re gone all the time?”
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) February 21, 2024
im going to start telling people he was unable to handle them so he sold them to the circus
13.
my son at 2 years old had a muffin phase—I had to (as did daycare) show him pics of muffins for him to fall asleep https://t.co/xHZHHYUqYg
— hamberger helpmeet (@madihamberger) February 20, 2024
14.
Rival dad next door and his family are moving today. So I'm sitting out front judging his u-haul tetris stacking abilities and giving a disapproving groan when he does something wrong.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) February 23, 2024
15.
Watching an episode of Cocomelon where two kids are having a playdate and the two dads are riding a tandem bike together so wait a sec who’s really having the playdate here.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) February 20, 2024
16.
Saw a momfluencer post where she talked about how she had a “living room family,” not a “bedroom family” because everyone felt happy and safe together in the living room and didn’t feel the need to isolate themselves in their bedrooms. Her kids were 2-years-old and baby.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) February 19, 2024
17.
You gotta wonder sometimes if dad jokes are actually just mom jokes repeated by a guy in a louder voice
— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) February 15, 2024
18.
Not to brag but my daughter ate the fruit I packed in her lunch today. pic.twitter.com/cCRocEkbpl
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) February 19, 2024
19.
My wife can seriously find stuff blindfolded. The other day, my 6yo was crying because she lost her toothpaste, so my other kids and I helped her look, and it turned into mayhem. My wife showed up and told my 6yo “It’s in your hand.”
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) February 22, 2024
What kind of sorcery is this?
20.
Exhausted Parent PSA-
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) February 21, 2024
The chance you could mistake a raw chicken sausage for a banana when making a smoothie is small, but not zero.
Don't miss the funniest tweets by parents last month:
35 Tweets By Parents Last Month That Are So, So, So, So, Soooooo Outrageously Hilarious
...or the best jokes by parents in 2023!
75 Parents Who Proved Raising Kids In 2023 Is 100% Chaos 100% Of The Time