"Toss a church on me."
It's been nearly 10 years since the first movie came out, and it's time we talked about it again.
Tan: French tuck.
An essay devoted entirely to Chris Evans being very huggable? WOULD READ.
These tweets are silly or relatable, and sometimes they're both.
"I’ve dated a lot of white guys which is surprising cause i’m a history major."
Is this what Black Mirror is like?
"Cry me a table, Linda."
I was not expecting that.
"Insane that we don’t have one long weekend each month."
~good vibes only~
"Them: Do you take constructive criticism? Me, already crying: Sure what's up?"
"When bald people wash their faces how high up do they go?"
"Please. Edward Said is my father. Call me Ted Talk."
I'm so confused.
The service that ranked your best tweets had a community and culture built around it that will be missed.
It's impossible to make fun of someone with a good sense of humour.
"Shazam but for what the fuck is wrong with people."
Sur les cours, la flemme, la famille et la vie en général.
We don't deserve dogs.
This is the good stuff.
"Me waking up: wow I can't wait to go to sleep tonight."
À apprécier en solo ou à plusieurs.
"I think I have diarrhea."
"Blaming the intern is so 1990s." — Monica Lewinsky, 2018.
"Hey, I just met you and this is crazy, but could this meeting, be an email maybe."
All of us: “Spring, you still coming?” Spring: “Who all over there?”
The earth is safe in their hands.
We salute you.
"Don't get why lads wear football shirts to watch football on telly. I don’t dress up as Norris Cole to watch Corrie."
Sparkling water is just dishonest Sprite.
"Kanye's in retrograde."
Thigh-slappingly funny shit.
"The big mystery I hope they answer in Season 2 is if Bernard will ever look through his glasses."
"Guess who just accidentally submitted this small photo of Billy Ray Cyrus instead of the assignment?"
Everything is exhausting.
"Imagine a bee in a little, tiny ghost costume."
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. High.
"I just remembered the word 'kumquat' exists."
I can't make any promises though.
"You're right I should skip class."
There's one more hour of this class, so I just gotta get through 15 minutes four times.
"My walk of shame is going back for a shopping cart after realising I can’t carry 23 items in my arms through the store."
Adulting is hard.
You want good tweets? I've got good tweets.
College had me checking my emails in the middle of a party.