Archive
March 3, 2015
Australians Make Final Plea For Bali Nine Leaders
#IStandForMercy.
"HIMYM" And "Freaks And Geeks" Fans Will Be Blown Away By This '90s Movie
Lindsay Weir and Nick Andopolis actually slept together before Freaks and Geeks.
"Maternity Tourism" Sites Raided Across Southern California
Three dozen locations across Southern California were raided by federal agents in an effort to target companies that provide pregnant women from other countries lodging so they can have their children in the U.S.
14 Lisa Frank-Inspired Manicures Too Beautiful For Words
Attn: '90s girls who loved dolphins.
Can You Identify A State By Just The License Plate?
♪ I've been everywhere, man. ♪
Este niño recibe una gran dosis de karma después de burlarse de un perrito
El poder del karma es tan real.
Qantas Is Now Serving Alaskan Halibut And Caviar From Abu Dhabi
Australia's national airline is pulling out all the stops with its new first, business, and premium economy class menus.Yasa caviar tartlet, anyone?
Ben And Jerry Are Totally Down With Weed-Infused Ice Cream
Soon you might be able to "satisfy [your] bowl" and get "half baked" while listening to some "Cherry Garcia." (Yes those are all real Ben and Jerry's flavors).
Man Accused Of Firing Gun At NSA Building In Maryland Told Police He Was Hearing Voices
The man arrested on suspicion of firing a handgun at the National Security Agency's building in Fort Meade and at four other locations, wounding one man, allegedly told police he was hearing voices at the time.
19 Dogs Handling Cats Like Pros
"Don't know what they're deal is? Just ask 'em to dance."
9 Queer Women In Tech Tell Us What They've Learned
This weekend, the Lesbians Who Tech Summit came to San Francisco. We asked attendees what they've learned about how to succeed as queer women in the notoriously male-dominated field.
A "HIMYM" Fan Figured Out What Barney Stinson's Salary Was And It's Pretty Crazy
All based on how many suits he owns. He's doing pretty well for himself. Update: The show's creator has chimed in on Twitter.
24 señales de que tú eres el Lemongrab de tu grupo de amigos
Todo es inaceptable.
This Aussie Kid's Response To "Three Major Problems Facing Australia" Is Perfect
Tony Abbott, War, Cyclones.
This Actress Stole All Of Her Instagram Photos From Other Famous Folks
And then deleted them all.
Britney Spears Lost A Chunk Of Hair During A Show But Kept On Dancing Like A True Professional
Talk about unflappable!
A Chef Shamed Two Women On Instagram After They Threatened Him With A Bad Yelp Review
He used the hashtag #WeDontNegotiateWithYelpers.
What Is The Worst Thing That Happened To You While Living On Your Own?
Damn, I burned the pizza...again.
This Spider-Man Balloon Has A Massive Erection
This is for children?!?!
15 gatos que quieren que los dejes en paz
Estos gatos no te quieren hablar en este momento.
Slovenian Parliament Votes In Favor Of Marriage Equality
The vote comes as several other Eastern European nations have passed laws barring same-sex couples to marry.
You Snooze, You Lose: Soko On Making Dreams A Reality
The singer-songwriter on ditching her sad-girl persona to rock out.
Here's The First Official Trailer For Season 3 Of "Orphan Black"
CLONE CLUB ASSEMBLE.
This Huge 175-Pound Pit Bull Helps Dispel Perceptions About The Breed
Big dog, bigger heart.
Which Famous Kate Are You?
Are you a princess in real life or on the TV?
34 Impossibly Clever Pieces Of Jewelry Inspired By Books
Because your jewelry box should look more like your library.
2 Facts & A Fake: Fast Food Facts
How much do you know about fast food?
How Would Frank Underwood Ruin Your Life?
Pick your poison. No House of Cards Season 3 spoilers.
Man Charged In Beating Death Of Transgender Woman In New York
Prosecutors in New York have filed manslaughter and assault charges against a 24-year-old man in the beating death of a transgender woman in 2013. The victim, Islan Nettles, died after a week in a coma.
Dads Are Rallying For “Amazon Mom” To Change Its Name To “Amazon Family”
The retail giant's family-discount program is only known as Amazon Mom in the United States -- it's known as Amazon Family in other countries. #AmazonFamilyUS
15 Pictures That Perfectly Capture The Love Between Dog And Owner
"Dogs definitely have similar mannerisms and traits to their owners. A dog, like a child, is a product of its environment."
Jobs, Not Doctors, Are The Biggest Demand After Ebola
At a high-level meeting on Ebola recovery, the economy was the unexpected priority. Jina Moore reports for BuzzFeed News from Brussels.
25 Personas que solo siguen sus propias reglas
Esta gente en serio necesita ser detenida.
19 Images That Will Instantly Trigger All Competitive People
WARNING: This WILL set you off.
22 Things You Should Know About "Switched At Birth" Star Vanessa Marano
Does she ship #Bemmet? How long did it take her to learn ASL? Vanessa spills all.
If Wishbone Were Still On TV Today
Maybe we should just stick with the classics.
17 Reasons No One Should Ever Get A Cat
Evil little beasts.
Justice Department Finds Pattern Of Racial Bias In Policing In Ferguson, Missouri
The months-long investigation in the wake of Michael Brown's death is expected to be released as soon as Wednesday, a law enforcement source told BuzzFeed News. The coming report finds that police conduct in Ferguson routinely violates the Constitution and federal law.
This Pit Bull Healing From Abuse Wears The Cutest Outfits To Protect Her Skin
Diamond has had a hard life, but thanks to a new owner, she has been transformed into a diva.
This Guy Used Snapchat To Draw A Dick A Day For A Year And It's Glorious
That's 365 days of dick. NSFW because, well, dick drawings.
If Every Tech Conference Were Like Lesbians Who Tech, Tech Would Be A Much Better Place
Hula hoops and good hair at the most diverse conference in tech.
This Guy Proposed By Sending His Girlfriend Around The World On A Scavenger Hunt
Twenty-three days, four countries, and one adorable couple.
78 Panicked Thoughts You Have When Applying At-Home Relaxer
There's nothing relaxing about the first time.
What's Your Favorite Era Of Jared Leto's Hair?
Now that his long locks are gone, it's time to explore other options.
Esto es lo que realmente debes comer cuando estás borracho
Porque el tequila tratará de convencerte de que los aros de cebolla son un grupo de alimentos.
How Many Fucks Do You Give?
For those who GAF.
6 TV Character Deaths We Will Never Get Over
These episodes might be too painful to watch twice. Spoiler and Kleenex alert.
What Are Democrats Going To Do About Presidential Debates?
With Hillary Clinton dominating the field, and a full Republican slate of debates scheduled, Democrats haven't announced one yet. "We're talking to everyone to try and get the buy-in on the front end, so that when the time comes we can pull the trigger and it'll work."
Homeless Man Fatally Shot By LAPD Is Identified After Conning French, U.S. Governments
The mystery over who the man was depended after the French consulate said he had stolen the identity of one of its citizens years ago.
56 Cosas que debes comer si visitas Miami
No seas ese turista que solo come en Ocean Drive.
Rand Paul: Clinton Foundation Taking Foreign Money, Benghazi Worse Than Hillary's Private Email Usage
"The main thing that bothers me, and I think should preclude her from being considered for the presidency, is that she didn't defend our mission in Benghazi."
Former Virginia Cab Driver Turned FBI Most-Wanted Terrorist Reportedly Detained In Somalia
The FBI placed Liban Haji Mohamed on its list of most-wanted terrorists in January for allegedly providing support to al-Shabaab and al-Qaeda.
Tell Us About Yourself(ie): Shad Moss
The star of CSI: Cyber takes our Q&A!
Netanyahu's Speech Through The Eyes Of Iranian-Israelis
In a popular Persian food restaurant in Tel Aviv, Iranian-Israelis wonder if Benjamin Netanyahu's speech to Congress can stop the threat of a nuclear Iran.
That Time Britney Spears Lost Her Weave
Oops...she did it again?
Is This A Ghost?
An evaluation of the art of orb photography.
19 fotos que van a lastimar tu alma
Oh, mi alma.
A New "Dragon Ball Z" Movie Trailer Has Been Released And It Looks Awesome
Frieza is in it and he's GOLD.
The First Trailer For The Final Season Of "Community" Is Finally Here!
There are new students, but nothing has "chang"-ed.
5 Things You Didn't Know About America's Sleeping Habits
Urgh. Stop reading this and take a damn siesta.
16 Hard Facts About Penis Size
Scientists are hard at work measuring boners in the lab, so we might as well take a peek at the research.
Can You Tell What's Missing From These Famous Children's Book Covers?
How well do you remember your childhood?
There's A New Campaign To Feature A Woman On The $20 Bill
"A woman's place is on the money," the nonprofit Women on $20s says.
What The World Was Like The Last Time Carly Rae Jepsen Had A Hit
Everything has changed. Everything is different.
18 Times Camila Cabello Was The Realest Person On Twitter
In honor of the 5H Bo$$'s 18th birthday.
21 Ways To Nap Like A Cat
Cats are, after all, the napping professionals of the world.
Geico's "Unskippable" Ad Is Hilariously Clever And Strange
"You can't skip this Geico ad, because it's already over."
Peter Tatchell Attacks Ed Miliband's Pardon For Past Gay Convictions As "Wrong And Offensive"
The veteran LGBT rights campaigner believes that any pardon should include other homophobic laws – and that an apology would be better anyway.
Así es como se ve ahora el reparto de "Dinosaurs"
No vas a creer cuánto ha crecido la familia de tu programa de televisión favorito.
NYC Charter School Group Will Send 9,000 Students To Pro-Charter Rally
9,000 students at Success Academies will be bused to a rally in Albany calling for the limit on new charter schools to be lifted. It's on the same day as the teachers' union lobbying day.
"The View" Talked About Vaginas During Netanyahu's Historic Speech
Here’s what network television was doing during the Israeli prime minister's chat with Congress.
There Are Fewer Women CEOs Than Ones Named John
A new chart from the New York Times illustrates the glass ceiling.
The Duggars Are Being Accused Of Animal Abuse After Seemingly Trying To Sled Over A Cat
"Great job @derickdillard for appearing as a thoughtless, careless human being."
NHL Player's Daughter Writes Adorable Letter Asking Team To Trade For Him So He Can Come Home
Jordyn Leopold's letter never reached the team, but her wish still came true.
Una mujer dice que encontró algo asqueroso en el jugo que le compró a su hija
"Es un asco en todo sentido", escribió en su Facebook la madre.
Hey, Teachers, What's The Best Part About Teaching?
"Having the summer off."
29 Pictures That Prove You Should Never Own A Westie
They're just the worst.
Ray Rice Reportedly Gets $1.588 Million Settlement From Ravens
He was seeking over $3.5 million.
17 fotografías que cambiarán la manera en que ves el mundo
Todo se ve mucho más... claro ahora.
This Is What Happens When A Mom Takes Lessons From A Pro Skateboarder
Mom of three Jennifer Latch had never been on a skateboard until pro-skater Aaron Kyro agreed to give her a lesson.
O furão pegando carona no pica-pau virou meme
Putin sem camisa cavalgando um pica-pau.
David Petraeus To Plead Guilty To Leaking Classified Information
The former CIA director faces up to one year in prison. However, he will not be charged in relation to false statements he gave to the FBI.
Terrence Howard Explains What The Hell Happened While He Was Presenting At The Oscars
When in doubt, blame Oprah.
The One Thing You Never Noticed In "Hook"
"Bangarang!"
L'image de la belette et du pivert est désormais un mème
Poutine qui chevauche une belette qui chevauche un pivert.
Should Larry King Be The Next Host Of Fashion Police?
The man's got style.
15 Tees That Completely Understand Your DIY Addiction
Because we all have our gateway craft.
Here's Why A Two Year Old French Cartoon Is Going Hugely Viral In India Today
The cartoon, which originally appeared in French magazine Causette in Jan. 2013, shows the phrase "India, the land of sacred cows" struck out and replaced by "India, the land of massacred women."
What's The Most Awkward Compliment You've Ever Received?
"I like the shape of your nose."
CCTV Footage Shows Moment A Boy Was Fatally Stabbed While Riding His Bike In North London
Alan Cartwright, 15, died shortly after being stabbed in the chest while cycling down Caledonian Road.
The Weasel Riding The Woodpecker Is Now A Glorious Meme
Shirtless Putin riding a weasel riding a woodpecker.
Rikers Island Prison Inmates Help Female Officer During Sexual Assault
Inmates tore down plexiglass to help the female correction officer, according to the New York Daily News.
Is This A Butt?
The answers might surprise you.
Things "House Of Cards" Should Be About Besides Politics
Because who cares about the inner workings of the American political system when we could be talking about puppies, am I right?
36 Razones por las que no debes de viajar a Guatemala
Odiarás al país entero.
There Are A Lot Of Randos Showing Up For Netanyahu's Speech To Congress
Did you know that Pat Boone and Robert Kraft are really interested in Iran's nuclear program? Me neither.
19 secrets que les libraires ne vous révèleront jamais
« Cinquante nuances de Grey » = 90% de vos ventes.
Here Are 9 Canadian Emojis That Should Totally Exist
We're finally getting our flag. Here are some more suggestions while they're at it. Presented by BuzzFeed BFF.
When Have Your Parents Just Completely Failed At Social Media?
Parents just don't understand. Not one damn bit.
Swine Flu Has Claimed More Than 1,000 Lives In India This Year
The death toll from the H1N1 virus stands at 1,075, with more than 20,000 cases in the country.
Netanyahu To Congress: Deal With Iran All But Guarantees They'll Get Nuclear Weapons
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu spoke to a joint session of Congress Tuesday in defiance of the White House, as tensions between the U.S. and Israel escalate over a possible nuclear deal with Iran. President Obama later said the speech didn't "offer any viable alternatives."
Kanye West Made Some Questionable Remarks About Nicki Minaj Out-Rapping Him
"To come back and deliver my magnum opus of a work, and to be outshined…to be beat by a girl, basically."
35 magnifiques photographies réalisées par Leonard Nimoy
L'acteur qui a incarné Spock était aussi un photographe prolifique. NSFW.
27 Formas de hacer tu casa más acogedora tú mismo
Salir a la calle está totalmente sobrevalorado. ¡Mejor quédate en casa y haz tú las cosas!
Ex-American Apparel Chief Rallies Workers To Organize At Secret Meeting
Dov Charney appealed to more than 300 current and former textile workers this past Saturday in a backyard meeting in South Central Los Angeles. The American Apparel founder was officially fired in December but refuses to walk away from the company he created in the late '90s.
How To Paint With Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream
A delicious tutorial.
16 Times Justin Timberlake And Jessica Biel Were The Cutest Couple Alive
In honor of Jessica Biel's 33rd birthday.
The 8 Best Parts Of "Twilight"
We are definitely right about this. Team dracula or team dog boy? (Warning: SPOILERS!!!!!)
Esta pareja se amaba tanto que su familia les compró un ataúd doble para que pudieran tomarse de las manos
"Solían llorar mucho si tenían que pasar tiempo separados", explicó su hija.
Kylie Jenner Says The Image She Projects On Instagram Isn't Really Her
And fans don't know her either.
The Rabbi Behind That Susan Rice Ad Apologizes, But Isn't That Apologetic
"America's rabbi" managed to cause quite a stir in a week with bigger things on the agenda.
This Indian Guy Solved Five Rubik's Cubes In Less Than 90 Seconds With Just One Hand
21-year-old Bhargav Narasimhan broke the existing world record for speedcubing by over 25 seconds! Get ready to feel really, really inadequate.
18 Types Of Stretches, As Told By Cats
So many styles to choose from!
19 Cosas que nadie te dijo sobre tener tu primer perrito
Bienvenido a una nueva y mejor forma de vida.
This Is How Two Sisters And A McDonald's McFlurry Went Viral On Vine
Lauren and Joanne Lavoie spoke to BuzzFeed News about how the clip with 40 million views almost didn't happen.
Another Woman Comes Forward Accusing Bill Cosby Of Rape
Another Jane Doe from the 2005 civil case against Cosby speaks exclusively to BuzzFeed News. She says Cosby made bizarre demands, including telling her to lose weight and style her hair like Queen Noor of Jordan.
Ohio LGBT Rights Advocate Charged After Claiming On Facebook He Was Abducted
Adam Hoover posted, "please help me I'm in the trunk of my ford escort...they said they are going to kill my family" on Facebook on early Tuesday morning. Police later said there was no abduction.
Cette plage californienne s'est retrouvée couverte de grêle après une tempête
Les giboulées, version extrême.
14 Important Findings From A Survey Of Over Ten Thousand Indian Students
According to this survey, more than half the country's high school and college students believe that a woman's role is to take care of the household, and that women dress and behave in ways that provoke men's violence.
NCLR President Will Attack Republicans: You Don't Care About Latinos
A year after NCLR President Janet Murguia called Obama the "deporter-in-chief," she will rip into Republicans at the NCLR Capital Awards Tuesday, in prepared remarks viewed by BuzzFeed News. "Our complaint is not partisan, it is personal.”
20 placeres intensos que experimentás cuando comés un asado argentino
Descubrí un nuevo significado para la frase "los placeres de la carne".
Beer, Baccy And Crumpet Party Banned From Election Because Its Name Is "Offensive" To Women
"I'm pissed off," the party leader told BuzzFeed News.
« The Walking Dead » S5E12 : le recap en GIFs et en images
Adieu, barbe de Rick.
This Photographer Uses His iPhone To Re-Create Iconic Hollywood Scenes In Real-Life Situations
Because we could all use a little more movie magic IRL.
Auckland Had An Amazing Sunset And It Almost Shut Down Instagram
No filter necessary for this multicolour evening.
Hombres atractivos en el metro de París es la cuenta de Instagram que has estado buscando
¿Cómo se dice "extremadamente buenísimo" en francés?
A Student Cut Off His Penis And Stabbed His Mother 11 Times While High On Mephedrone
Charles Mann told police officers: “I am a paedophile, I do not want to live. Take me to the light. I can see the vampires.”
27 Reasons To Never Go To West London
Not. worth. it.
15 lamas qui s'en foutent complètement
Les lamas n'ont pas le temps pour vos conneries.
22 Of The Most Kanye Things Kanye West Said At Oxford University
Here are all the best quotes from his lecture at the Oxford Guild. h/t The Tab.
7 Ingredientes que contienen productos de alimentación (que nunca te hubieras imaginado)
¿Ketchup con moluscos y pescado? Sí, puedes haberlo probado.
13 signes que vous êtes né en 1986
La crise de la trentaine approche à grands pas.
Gabrielle Union: “People Want To See Themselves Reflected On TV”
The Being Mary Jane star talks about life as a jobbing actor, the theft of her nude photos, and her "lesbian short film".
Photos: Thousands Pay Tribute To Slain Opposition Leader In Russia
People waited in long lines to pay respects to Kremlin critic Boris Nemtsov, who was shot to death on Friday.
The Movie Pun Map Of London
10 Things I Hate About Euston.
Mohammed Emwazi Once Condemned 9/11 As The Work Of "Extremists"
Audio has emerged appearing to show the man known as “Jihadi John” speaking about terrorism and extremism in 2009.
17 Things You Can Only Understand If You've Ever Been Mum-Zoned
Has someone ever mistaken you for being someone's mother?
24 raisons pour lesquelles vous ne devriez pas avoir de Pitbull
Ils font tellement peur.
21 Everyday Situations That Are Awkward For Muslims
"I'll have the Filet-O-Fish, please."
This Rare "Alien-Like" Goblin Shark Has Been Found Off The Coast Of Australia
Someone has claimed the rarely seen shark is "beautiful". What do you think?
Voilà pourquoi les femmes devraient se raser le visage si elles en ont envie
Parce que la cire fait mal et que l'épilation au laser coûte super cher.
Here's The Heartwarming Advice Lady Gaga Gave Taylor Swift
The stars had an adorable exchange on Twitter.
16 raisons pour lesquels vous ne devriez jamais lire Harry Potter
Sérieusement, ça n'en vaut pas la peine.
Die Antwoord's Yolandi Visser Called Drake A Homophobic Slur
Disgusting, homophobic shots fired.
Thousands Flee Huge Volcano Eruption In Southern Chile
The lava ejection from the Villarrica volcano reportedly reached 1,100 meters Tuesday. More than 3,000 people were evacuated.
Equalities Minister: "I've Got Lots Of Friends Who Are Gay"
Nicky Morgan embraced LGBT rights on her first visit to a "Stonewall Champion" school. The education secretary also told BuzzFeed News why she regrets voting against equal marriage.
22 Delicious Meals That Could Get You Arrested
Step away from the beef!
Beef Has Been Banned In Maharashtra, And Anyone Selling It Can Go To Jail For Five Years
Sale and possession of beef are now criminal offences, with the offender receiving up to five years of incarceration and having to pay a fine of Rs. 10,000.
Cette photo incroyable d'un bébé belette chevauchant un pivert semble sortie d'un livre pour enfants
Sauf qu'elle tient plus de l'horreur que du conte de fées: la belette attaquait l'oiseau. Heureusement, il a réussi à s'échapper.
This Hilarious Video Shows What Using D.R.S. In The Real World Would Be Like
The need for the Decision Review System on the cricket pitch might be debatable, but in real life situations? Most useful thing ever.
India's Censor Board Muted The Word "Lesbian" In "Dum Laga Ke Haisha"
Amongst other cuts recommended by the CBFC, the L word was deemed inappropriate for Indian audiences.
Who Murdered Clive Palmer's T-Rex?
Police are searching for whoever torched Clive Palmer's life-size dinosaur overnight. Here are five key suspects:
Jon Stewart Just Kicked Seth Rollins Square In The Nuts
The Daily Show host has finally confronted the WWE superstar on WWE Raw.
Here's How Supportive Mardi Gras Corporate Sponsors Actually Are
Party hard, spend big.
What Do You Call A Single Cracker From A Box Of Jatz?
A Jat or a Jatz? Let's settle this!
Hillary Clinton Used Her Own Internet Server To Send Email
The server that transmitted her email while she was Secretary of State was run out of her New York state home -- an unusual step, the AP reported. The revelation comes after the Times reported that Clinton used a personal email account to conduct official business despite federal law requiring correspondence be retained by the government.
A Woman Left A Romantic Sign For A Hot Guy And He Replied
It's a modern-day fairy tale, minus the Tinder.
Americans Taste Test Mexican Beer
Cold refreshing Mexican beer!
She Trips. What Happens After Is Priceless.
Don't Trip!
Obama: Iran Must Freeze Nuclear Program For At Least A Decade
In an interview, President Obama says Iran must halt and dial back its nuclear program for "double-digit years" if it ever hopes to reach a deal to ease sanctions.
Senior Government MPs Embarrassed By Simple iMessage Hoax
Leaked emails show senior Coalition MPs tricked with iMessage.
The Worst Case Scenario For A Perpetually Cold Person
Don't you dare touch that thermostat.
Are You Saying These Words Right?
Warning pronouncing words this way may make you sound pretentious…
18 Times "Spongebob" Perfectly Described Australian Life
Can I be excused for the rest of my life?
Le mystérieux journaliste new-yorkais qui calomnie toujours les ennemis du Kremlin
Mikhail Klikushin a écrit plusieurs articles pour le New York Observer. Tous raccord avec les arguments de la propagande gouvernementale russe.
9 Celebrity Tweets You Missed Today
Here's what happened today!
Democratic Sen. Bob Menendez Takes Aim At Susan Rice In AIPAC Speech
Last week, White House National Security Advisor Susan Rice called Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's trip to the United State "destructive of the fabric of the relationship." In his address to the American Israel Public Affairs Committee Monday, Sen. Menendez earned a standing ovation from the crowd when he refuted Rice's comments. Rice had previously addressed the crowd.
14 Aussie TV Character Deaths That You'll Never Ever Get Over
Australia needs a national day of mourning for Patrick Reid.
POLL: What Is Silverchair's Best Single?
We need to settle this.
Your Relationship With Your Mom In Your Teens Vs. In Your Twenties
Let's face it. You were kind of a shithead as a teenager.
LAPD: Homeless Man "Forcibly Grabbed" Officer's Gun During Fatal Shooting
The homeless man shot dead by police in a struggle captured on video Sunday was reaching for an officer's weapon, the Los Angeles police chief says.
This Guy Used Snapchat To Apply For A Job At Snapchat
Come on, Snapchat, give him the job already!!!! He's actually really qualified.
World Bank President Declines Meeting With Leading Critic Of Human Rights Record
"What [President] Kim has said about discrimination ... all point[s] to the fact that he could take the lead on [human rights] if he wanted to, but so far he hasn’t," a U.N. human rights rapporteur told BuzzFeed News in Washington.
21 Things People Who Are Incredibly Bad At Receiving Compliments Will Understand
Them: “Nice shirt!” You: “I can’t have children.”
