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    Who Murdered Clive Palmer's T-Rex?

    Police are searching for whoever torched Clive Palmer's life-size dinosaur overnight. Here are five key suspects:

    In the criminal justice system, crimes against dinosaurs are considered especially heinous.

    The victim: Jeff the Dinosaur

    Jesus Christ. Burnt to a crisp.

    Fire guts Jeff the dinosaur at Clive Palmer's Coolum resort. http://t.co/6dhiD8GO4j

    More like T-Wrecked. Police arrived at the scene at 1:30am. Palmer's people are saying it's an electrical fault. Plenty of people had it in for Clive Palmer though. Shame they had to take it out an innocent reptile like this.

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    1. Prime Minister Tony Abbott

    2. Former Palmer United Senator Jacqui Lambie

    3. Former Queensland Premier Campbell Newman

    4. All of China

    5. An Asteroid

    Goddammit. I promised myself I wouldn't cry.

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    Whoever did it, let's hope detectives Stablerodon and Bensonosaurus can find the perp and put them away for a long time.