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    Who Murdered Clive Palmer's T-Rex?

    Police are searching for whoever torched Clive Palmer's life-size dinosaur overnight. Here are five key suspects:

    In the criminal justice system, crimes against dinosaurs are considered especially heinous.

    The victim: Jeff the Dinosaur

    Jesus Christ. Burnt to a crisp.

    Fire guts Jeff the dinosaur at Clive Palmer's Coolum resort.

    More like T-Wrecked. Police arrived at the scene at 1:30am. Palmer's people are saying it's an electrical fault. Plenty of people had it in for Clive Palmer though. Shame they had to take it out an innocent reptile like this.

    1. Prime Minister Tony Abbott

    2. Former Palmer United Senator Jacqui Lambie

    3. Former Queensland Premier Campbell Newman

    4. All of China

    5. An Asteroid

    Goddammit. I promised myself I wouldn't cry.

    Whoever did it, let's hope detectives Stablerodon and Bensonosaurus can find the perp and put them away for a long time.