That wasn’t even funny but I’m trying to flatter you.
We think you’re just alright.
These jeans fit my waist, butt, AND thighs perfectly.
Why anyone would go out when you could stay in.
Thanks for letting me know that I’m tall!
Sliding into your DMs like HEY I LIKE YOU.
Home is wherever you want it to be.
But the truth is, you’ve been cool all along.
Congratulations! Your parking is shit.
Save money. Laugh harder.
Cedar Point > Disney World
French Toast Crunch or Oreo O’s?!?!
Excuse me while I play out the worst-case scenario in my head.
Calling all GOAL diggers…
Buffy should really invest in a sports bra.
We are all Chrissy Teigen.
Hating people is a full time job.
READY, SET, FLICK THE BEAN.
Temperature: 3 degrees. Feels Like: I want to die.