Pizza rolls, not gender roles.
The bags under my eyes are Prada.
Please, no more screaming babies.
We’re way holier than you.
I didn’t choose the big-boob life; it chose me.
Meet at Olive Garden at 6:10?
Where can I buy an invisibility cloak?
Can you guess which country has the most generous policy?
You’re in for a brewed awakening.
“Beyoncé’s ‘Partition’ is about getting kikay in a car.” Warning: slightly crude language ahead!
Your dad will always be the No. 1 man in your life.
“My favorite color is October.”
Every 67 seconds, a person in the U.S. develops Alzheimer’s disease.
How do I block couples from Facebook?
It’s harder than it looks.
Harry Potter and Never Being Able to Move On.
Your hair looks sexy pushed back.
If you need me, I’ll be in the bathroom.