“Life is short and life is long, but not in that order.”
Parenting is hard, but so worth it.
You’re going to want to take these moves to the clurb.
From never replacing the toilet paper to texting you from the same room.
He’s been meaning to tell you he’s not mean.
Don’t try this at your local zoo!
“That’s a sh*tty way to ask someone to prom.”
“I think that’s a ‘yes,’ right?”
“Das liebe ich ja. Einen Penis zeichnen.”
“This is actually my favorite thing to do, draw penises.”
Please paws the music, thank you.
Paws for a moment and enjoy.
“Where is it? WHERE IS IT?!?!”
“Is it supposed to make it harder to breathe?”
The women’s tax is a real thing.