"I thought 'flipping the bird' meant kids capturing birds and just chucking them at random people."
*blasts "Good As Hell" by Lizzo at full volume*
When a grandma hits 'send,' it's bound to be hilarious.
Nobody is safe from getting these jokes!
People Are Sharing The Things They Learned Embarrassingly Late, And We Need A New Word For Embarrassing
"It was a long time before I learned that Houston is not the name of the guy the astronauts talk to."
"On my wedding day, I'll probably look so pretty that I get cocky and suggest we see other people."
Professional Chefs Are Sharing The Mistakes We're All Making In The Kitchen, And These Are Really Good To Know, Y'all
"If you want to cut onions without the juices making you cry, chill them first."
Teachers Are Sharing The Funniest Things Their Students Have Ever Said, And I Can't With The Hilarity
"Your shirt smells like a grandma, but your armpits smell like a Chuck E. Cheese."
17 People Share The Weirdest Things They've Seen At Someone Else's House, And I'm Honestly Speechless
"One of my exes collected her fingernail and toenail clippings in little glass bottles, and displayed them over her bed."
Is it real, or is it an extra powerful love potion?
And Twitter has some theories.
Ever gotten mad at your partner for "liking" someone else's pic on Insta?
A Mom Got Shamed For Bringing Her 4-Year Old Son Into The Women's Restroom And 24 Other Ridiculous Reasons
"My mother-in-law shamed me for having a cat, saying it would smell milk on my baby and 'steal the baby's breath.'"
"The biggest marketing lie to parents is, 'Fun for the whole family.'"
"My mom made me express dog anal glands three times a day...without gloves."
19 Parents Share The Things Their Kids Are Hiding From Them, And They Are Hilarious, Random, And Heartbreaking
"My 6-year-old son poops in the backyard every morning and blames it on the dog."
No, I will not stop saying love is dead every time a famous couple breaks up.
"Maybe if you didn't vape you wouldn't be sucking for air right now!" — Dad at your hockey game.
Making beautiful meme-ories together.
"Hey, I'm probably gonna be a little late because of who I am as a person."
"My kids' favorite place to go shopping for toys is the pile I just set aside for Goodwill."
Sometimes you just need a good chuckle.
Couples Are Sharing The Strangest Stuff They Learned About Each Other When They Moved In Together, And LOL
I love you more than anything...but also, please leave me alone.
It's time to get ready for a night of love (and food).
"I don't always pick out the wrong item when my wife sends me to the store, but when I do, I buy it in the mega-pack."
How do you prefer to be apologized to?
"It was the most horrifying, mentally damaging experience of my life."
Dear brothers, put the phone down.
Everyone deserves a good laugh now and again!
"You will wonder why you ever thought this was a good idea. This is normal."
This Woman Got A Text From Her Ex Right Before His Wedding Day, And Twitter Had Mixed Emotions About It
"Regardless of everything, you were meant to be a part of that person's life, and them, yours."
"His head was too round. It was distracting."
"He argued that Washington, DC, was in Washington state."
"I won't hurt my own healing by holding on to hate."
What made you realize you were REALLY ready?
Maybe it'll last forever. Maybe.
People Are Sharing The Worst Things They've Ever Witnessed At A Wedding, And You Seriously Won't Know How To Respond
"My mom caught the mother of the groom blowing the bartender in the back room."
"It was a lesson in what a relationship SHOULDN'T feel like."