21 Completely Out Of Pocket First Date Confessions People Made That Guaranteed They'd Get Blocked Immediately

Nope. Never again!

It seems like everyone has a great or unforgettable first-date story, so when u/Mannymarlo asked Reddit, "What is the most shocking thing you ever found about someone on a first date," I knew I had to share the responses with y'all!

Netflix

1. "He immediately informs me that he has two children with two different exes." —u/TinyDifference881

TV Land

"When I was 21, I went on a date with a guy 10 years older than me. We had been texting for about a week and everything seemed fine. When he pulled up to pick me up (not making that mistake again), he had two car seats in the backseat. He immediately informs me that he has two children with two different exes, and recently had a vasectomy because he 'doesn't want to pay more child support.' I pointed out that he never mentioned that he had kids when we were texting and he replies with, 'Well a lot of women are looking for guys without kids and I knew you wouldn't say yes to a date if I told you.'

The date ended with him insisting that I spend the night at his place and meet both of his kids the very next day. I nope'd out of that situation very quickly."

2. "That his best friend is the person who is in jail for hitting my best friend with a car." —u/Jilltro

IFC

"Yes, he knew before the date and didn’t think it was necessary to tell me beforehand. He was offended when I left the restaurant."

3. "Guy told me he wanted to be a human toilet on the first date." —u/latenightsnack1

Universal Pictures

"Like, wanted me to poop in his mouth. Guess I'm glad we got that out of the way first, I nope'd right out of there."

4. "They randomly brought up that they dated their cousin for years." —u/MidnightFireHuntress

Paramount Pictures

"It was super awkward."

5. "He would shout at people who bumped into him." —u/FeedTheCatPizza

TLC

"I once went on a date with a guy who seemed really nice, but as the night went on, he started getting really aggressive and confrontational with strangers we encountered. He would shout at people who bumped into him, and even started a fight with a stranger."

6. "He tells me that he's a revolutionary war reenactor and often wears a kilt on and off the battlefield." —u/UltraBlue89

Starz

"I met this cop on Bumble. Tall, dark, handsome, and kind of mysterious. We chatted for days and video-messaged multiple times before going out. We really hit it off, he seemed so normal and cool. Our first date he tells me that he's a revolutionary war reenactor and often wears a kilt on and off the battlefield.

Okay, not as shocking as the other posts, but it still surprised me, and makes me laugh to this day."

7. "A guy told me he had jerked off while thinking about me before the date started so he could have a clear head." —u/Sand_Dargon

NBC

"This was about a minute into us sitting down in a movie theater. Ugh...okay, dude."

8. "A guy I went on a date with from work told me he had a sugar momma." —u/OverallDisaster

NBC

"It was shocking to me as an 18 year old sheltered teenager. He was her pool boy, I guess, and she took him on all sorts of trips."

9. "I told him I’m Jewish and the first thing out of his mouth was, 'So that’s why your nose looks like that!'" —u/sarah_kaya_comezin

20th Century Fox

"This guy and I met online and had been texting/FaceTiming for a few weeks. When I called him out on it he doubled down, told me that he was just saying words and I was choosing to be offended by them. He then went on to ask if I’d be upset if a comedian made the same joke. I said a jewish comedian can say that, but otherwise it’s not okay. He told me I was wrong to feel that way. Then it got even worse when he said that people in society have been making Jewish jokes like that forever, and he was just confirming to society’s expectations. People who don’t conform to society end up as anti-social outcasts. So really, he was just trying to be a good member of society.

After I blocked his ass I sat there staring at my phone for a few minutes in complete bewilderment. How the fuck does any of that logic make sense?"

10. "He didn't know how to eat spaghetti." —u/SmolButScary

ABC

"Not the most attractive thing to watch."

11. "He lied to me about his age." —u/MrDeedles2034

HBO

"He said he was 38. He was at least 50!"

12. "I also went on a date with a morgue technician and he showed me a load of pictures of him posing with the bodies." —u/DinosaurDomination

Columbia Pictures

"I reported him and he got fired, and blamed me. He followed me around for a while and I did get quite scared, but thankfully stopped when I spoke to the police."

13. "He just blurted out, 'Because I have a micro penis.'" —u/michellemustudy

Nickelodeon

"Went on a date with a successful, semi-famous MIT professor who was super cute and charismatic. He was giving a lecture at Stanford and we agreed to grab dinner afterwards.

During dinner, I asked how such an attractive, smart, and charismatic man could be single and he just blurted out, 'Because I have a micro penis.' I almost choked on my food but acted like it was no big deal. I didn’t want him to feel awkward but he doubled down and said, 'It’s unfortunate, but true. I have a very, very small penis.'”

14. "They like to wear diapers and use the diaper." —u/jtrisn1

Comedy Central

"They admitted it's a sex thing."

15. "First date, guy told me that he’s dating because his wife is dying of cancer." —u/jbm6591

Freeform

"And he wanted sex. Could not get out of there fast enough!"

16. "He was a 9/11 conspiracy theorist." —u/sweep_27

NBC

"Apparently, you can fold a dollar bill in such a way as to prove the U.S. was behind this. He was an international diplomat. Shoutout to all the countries sending their best and brightest!"

17. "That he's married with twin babies." —u/Advanced-Spell8363

Starz

"Found out from his wife, who showed up!"

18. "She then randomly sent me a picture of her date tomorrow, and the guy I was with was looking over my shoulder. It was a picture of him." —u/fizzywaterisfizzy

ABC

"My best friend texted me, while I was on a date, about a guy she was going on a date with the next day. She admitted they were probably just going to fuck. For some reason, she then randomly sent me a picture of her date tomorrow. The guy I was with was looking over my shoulder. It was a picture of him! The face we both made was kind of hilarious, but I said he could stick to my friend, and that I wasn't very interested anymore."

19. "That a 38 year old man swims naked in his parent's pool, while they’re around." —u/slickmartini

SV Delos

"Maybe I’m shy but that was too much."

20. "When we met for dinner he asked if he could take home my panties so he can smell them." —u/DiorTRoth

Showtime

"First date with this guy I met online. He seemed fine when we texted and exchanged messages. To this day I’m still disturbed by our date"

21. And lastly, "When he dropped me off home he asked if I could record myself peeing and send him the audio file." —u/DinosaurDomination

Fetish Series / fetishseries.com

"Nope to that! It was a lovely date up until that point."

Do you have a wild first date story? Be sure to share it in the comments below!