Fun fact: My full set of nails costs the same as FOUR DRINKS(!!!) on a night out.
*goes to library to read* *stays for the pet rock*
Nobody talk to me for the rest of the day. This has been a warning.
No one-star Yelp reviews coming from me, I reckon!
Celebs — they're just like us!
Chills I tell you...CHILLS!!!
"She started working for a little company called Microsoft in the mid-1980s. She retired at 40."
*overdraws bank account by $99 billion*
"My best friend ordered supermarket cupcakes for her wedding guests to enjoy. If you put them on a pretty platter, no one will ever know."
"I worked for a popular pet store chain. We'd take kittens from the local shelter and then charge customers outrageous amounts of money. We also told customers that our puppies were from 'reputable breeders,' but they were all from puppy mills."
The Black Eyed Peas have still never apologized for their problematic song, despite rereleasing it a year later with the new name and lyrics.
Count your lucky stars that you're not these folks.
"We deal with more MOTHER of the bridezillas than actual bridezillas."
"I married someone I considered kind of a settle at first. I hadn't had a relationship in over a year and met a woman at a bar and thought, She's pretty enough and I like being around her. The thing is, we grew together, and I have a very successful and happy marriage despite her not initially knocking my socks off. At no point in our relationship was it so bad I didn't want to be in the relationship anymore."
Prince Eric could split me in half. IN 👏 HALF!!! 👏
"When I attended college, I was unaware of how to cleanse myself properly after using the toilet. There was no bidet, and I had never used toilet paper by myself."
Only the strong will survive.
If you wanna get over a guy, just picture him swimming with goggles on.
Don't let this quiz decieve you.