Look, it's hard to admit when you're wrong, but if you never did, there'd be no room for you to grow and mature as a person.
Reddit user u/Random_Stuff10 recently asked, "When was the moment you realized you were the problem in a relationship?"
1."Being with my husband made me realize that chaos is not the same thing as love and passion. I almost lost him because I craved chaos. I'm glad I started going to therapy and figured this out before I did anything there was no coming back from. Now that I'm a mom, it's even more important to model healthy emotional behavior."
2."About the time I cheated. That's not an excuse, and I should have just left him, but it is what it is. I take full responsibility for the failure of that marriage."
3."When I realized I had changed my entire personality over the course of seven years to fit what I believed he wanted, to the point where I was never genuinely or authentically me. I was a people-pleaser and codependent, and those became control issues really quickly. I was constantly trying to control how he felt about me."
5."When I thought about our breakup more and realized I screwed up letting him go. I was way too picky, and I was going to let go of a good thing because I decided it wasn’t exactly what I imagined and that great just wasn’t good enough for me. Because of that, I hurt someone who I really cared about."
6."When I noticed different people all had the same behaviors that led me to want to end things or cause tension. In similar situations, when it came to dating, I noticed a complete disregard for me, and it was all about them. I did the most to be liked by them, but they weren't doing crap. Then, I spotted the pattern: All my exes grew complacent, would not put in effort for me, and disregarded my needs in the relationship. It was because my boundaries become paper thin, and I lost them more and more for the person I liked. I took on the chill girl persona, got walked on, and lost myself in other people. So, I am in therapy and dating, and so far so good. I am looking for actual effort, not gestures and going slow."
8."When I was bringing problems I had with my ex into our relationship. I had to take a step back and really realize this man isn’t him; he hasn’t done those things, and he shouldn’t be punished for the things my ex has put me through. It's easier said than done, though!"
9."When my ex-husband left me. Yep, I'm not very self-aware apparently."
10."When I couldn't stop doubting due to my past relationships, and it was too tough to trust, and I hurt that person. We had to end it as I needed to work on myself. But later, I also got to know I was right, and he was actually hiding a lot of things. So, it was wrong to keep doubting and pestering, but glad we ended. Now, I'm in a happy relationship where I never get any signs to doubt him."
12."I think we were both the problem, but I blamed him for my behavior. I turned sour for a handful of reasons, and instead of being emotionally mature about it, I just blamed his behaviors for mine."
13."When I realized that I needed him to be everything in my life."
14."It took me so long to understand that I don't have to be right, and don't have to win the argument. The value of a conflict is the potential to learn something new."
15."Sadly, after the relationship ended. I'm much more mature these days, and I've turned my regret and guilt into fuel for being a better person to my current significant other. Change is hard but possible if you want it. I used to feel bad knowing my exes hated me, and I couldn't show them I've grown, but now, I'm just being the best version of me I can. I still feel bad for being so awful to some of my exes, though."
16."When I saw the look on his face after what I said. I have since made a conscious effort to wait until I have calmed down to speak about what's bothering me. This helps me not say something in anger."
17."When I went through his phone, then he came back and noticed an app was open that wasn’t before. Then, I lied about it for a solid six hours before I fessed up."
18."When I began to realize I sounded like my mom."
