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    People Are Sharing Their "It's Me, Hi, I'm The Problem, It's Me" Moments In Their Relationships, So At Least They're Aware

    "Instead of being emotionally mature about it, I just blamed his behaviors for mine."

    Look, it's hard to admit when you're wrong, but if you never did, there'd be no room for you to grow and mature as a person.

    Reddit user u/Random_Stuff10 recently asked, "When was the moment you realized you were the problem in a relationship?"

    1. "Being with my husband made me realize that chaos is not the same thing as love and passion. I almost lost him because I craved chaos. I'm glad I started going to therapy and figured this out before I did anything there was no coming back from. Now that I'm a mom, it's even more important to model healthy emotional behavior."

    u/OblinaDontPlay

    2. "About the time I cheated. That's not an excuse, and I should have just left him, but it is what it is. I take full responsibility for the failure of that marriage."

    Woman on her phone in bed beside partner

    3. "When I realized I had changed my entire personality over the course of seven years to fit what I believed he wanted, to the point where I was never genuinely or authentically me. I was a people-pleaser and codependent, and those became control issues really quickly. I was constantly trying to control how he felt about me."

    u/Anilxe

    4. "When I realized that they never felt comfortable coming to me with their problems."

    u/potatoequalrights

    5. "When I thought about our breakup more and realized I screwed up letting him go. I was way too picky, and I was going to let go of a good thing because I decided it wasn’t exactly what I imagined and that great just wasn’t good enough for me. Because of that, I hurt someone who I really cared about."

    u/Express_Muffin766

    6. "When I noticed different people all had the same behaviors that led me to want to end things or cause tension. In similar situations, when it came to dating, I noticed a complete disregard for me, and it was all about them. I did the most to be liked by them, but they weren't doing crap. Then, I spotted the pattern: All my exes grew complacent, would not put in effort for me, and disregarded my needs in the relationship. It was because my boundaries become paper thin, and I lost them more and more for the person I liked. I took on the chill girl persona, got walked on, and lost myself in other people. So, I am in therapy and dating, and so far so good. I am looking for actual effort, not gestures and going slow."

    Foot crosses over line

    7. "The silent treatment was strong on my end."

    u/Powderpuff-chica

    8. "When I was bringing problems I had with my ex into our relationship. I had to take a step back and really realize this man isn’t him; he hasn’t done those things, and he shouldn’t be punished for the things my ex has put me through. It's easier said than done, though!"

    u/Lime_Commercial

    9. "When my ex-husband left me. Yep, I'm not very self-aware apparently."

    Woman takes off wedding ring

    10. "When I couldn't stop doubting due to my past relationships, and it was too tough to trust, and I hurt that person. We had to end it as I needed to work on myself. But later, I also got to know I was right, and he was actually hiding a lot of things. So, it was wrong to keep doubting and pestering, but glad we ended. Now, I'm in a happy relationship where I never get any signs to doubt him."

    u/anyaquinzel

    11. "When I realized that I heard the same feedback from different partners."

    u/readitanon1

    12. "I think we were both the problem, but I blamed him for my behavior. I turned sour for a handful of reasons, and instead of being emotionally mature about it, I just blamed his behaviors for mine."

    u/ThatDaringDarling

    13. "When I realized that I needed him to be everything in my life."

    Woman holding man's hand

    14. "It took me so long to understand that I don't have to be right, and don't have to win the argument. The value of a conflict is the potential to learn something new."

    u/onlyhappywhenwasted

    15. "Sadly, after the relationship ended. I'm much more mature these days, and I've turned my regret and guilt into fuel for being a better person to my current significant other. Change is hard but possible if you want it. I used to feel bad knowing my exes hated me, and I couldn't show them I've grown, but now, I'm just being the best version of me I can. I still feel bad for being so awful to some of my exes, though."

    u/Panda_Sandwich_

    16. "When I saw the look on his face after what I said. I have since made a conscious effort to wait until I have calmed down to speak about what's bothering me. This helps me not say something in anger."

    u/curlyhairweirdo

    17. "When I went through his phone, then he came back and noticed an app was open that wasn’t before. Then, I lied about it for a solid six hours before I fessed up."

    Woman looking at a cell phone

    18. "When I began to realize I sounded like my mom."

    u/forensichotmess

    Tell me about a moment in a relationship when you caught yourself being the problem in the comments.