We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the pettiest thing they've ever done in a relationship, or the pettiest thing they've ever done to a family member. We also asked them to tell us whether or not they regretted their actions. Here's some of what they had to say:
1. "I mailed cow poop to my stepdad for Father's Day. No regrets. Growing up, he was extremely abusive, especially to my brother, and would make fun of him for having ADHD and a physical disability. Of course, my mom was pissed. I don't talk to her anymore since she decided to stay with him. But my grandma, who loves her grandkids more than life itself, called me in a fit of tears from laughing. She thought it was perfect. As long as I have my grandma's approval, I don't feel guilty!"
2. "Coming out to my father was one of the worst experiences of my life. He made sure I felt the weight of his shame. Months later, he asked me to hang up all of his family photos and Christian memorabilia. There was enough stuff to cover the entire living room wall and the hallway. I hung them all crooked. Not glaringly obvious, but tilted juuuuust enough so it would never look right. Guests always seem to notice, but they must think it’s intentional, since every frame is crooked. 0% regretful."
3. "My ex-husband has always been big into video games. It was a lot worse when we started dating (I was 21 and he was 19). I remember sitting on the couch for HOURS while he played video games on the computer, and feeling as if I was alone. He also wouldn’t help around the house, or he would only do the bare minimum if it was going to interrupt his gaming time. I had suffered a lot of loss in my late teens and felt that I had to have someone or I would be miserable. Over time, I lost my sense of self but eventually got into therapy and started getting myself back. Then I got mad. I was mad that I had been carrying this load by myself for so many years (we had a son by then). I was mad that I had lost myself in a relationship. And I was mad I picked a guy who didn't seem to really care about being a partner or dad."
"One morning, on the way to therapy, I left a list of things I had been asking him to do for weeks, and I took the computer with me (not the whole thing, just the actual computer part). I did my therapy and ran some errands and came home to an upset boyfriend, who said I didn’t have the 'right' to take the computer. It was MY computer, by the way. But he did everything on the list, so honestly, I didn’t care. We are no longer together, but I did get my two amazing kiddos from the relationship, so I am always thankful for that."
4. "I won’t go into too much detail, but let’s just say my ex loved attention a little too much and would take it wherever he could get it — even when it crossed the line and became straight-up disrespectful to me. Months after I finally cut him loose, while going through my things, I found an old love letter he had written to me. I decided to spray it with my perfume, glitter-bomb it, and mail it back to him. I found out later from a mutual friend that it actually arrived on his birthday and made a huge mess. It was the perfect revenge, and I don’t regret it one bit. Fuck him."
—Anonymous
5. "I won’t go into all the ugly details of what a bad person my grandma was, but she also happened to be a horrible driver. She would hit other cars and drive off, litter out the window, drive recklessly, etc. My home state allows anyone to request driver reexamination from the DMV. I filled out the form and a supplemental page with all the gory details of her bad driving, plus her mental and physical health issues that she refused to treat. The DMV told her to see a doctor and then come in. She refused to do either, so they suspended her license. It was technically still suspended when she died. My only regret is not doing it sooner."
6. "I threw his toothbrush in the toilet."
—Anonymous
7. "I had found out that my soon-to-be-ex was cheating on me when our son was 11 weeks old. It started while I was pregnant. She knew the entire time that he was married with a newborn. I immediately told his entire family, but I didn’t tell any of the kids, of course. The high school–age ones eventually found out, but they didn’t yet know who the other woman was. So I slipped her name to a few of them when I saw the family at Christmas. She was a teacher at their school. I also took every roll of toilet paper, every bath towel, and every pair of his underwear I could find in the house when I moved out."
—Anonymous
8. "My husband hates country music. Whenever I'm mad at him and we are driving together, I turn country music on and crank the volume. No regrets."
—Anonymous
9. "Backstory: My ex was abusive, and I have seizures sometimes. Once, after a really bad fight, I pissed on his carpet and lay near it pretending to be unconscious so that he’d have to clean it up."
—Anonymous
10. "My ex–mother-in-law was a grade A bitch and hated me at first sight but was quite happy to leech off me and my then-husband. When she visited, she would ask me to buy her toiletries, clothes, etc., then tell my then-husband that I was a spendaholic. She'd laze around the house and then bitch about me behind my back, saying she had to do everything for us while I swanned off (to my full-time job). The worst was when she would tell my preteen daughters not to eat so much because they'd get fat and no one would want to marry them. My revenge? She used to stay in bed when visiting until we were about to leave the house, and then come downstairs as we left so she could have her tea and breakfast in peace. I started to make her a cup of tea every morning, but I would spit into it each time. Do I regret it? HELL NO. That bitch deserved much worse. The only good thing about her is that I don't have to see her anymore."
11. "I slept with his dad after he cheated."
—Anonymous
12. "My emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend was going bald at 21. Even after we broke up, he was trying to manipulate and hurt me. When I finally left him, I signed him up to get info calls from a hair transplant clinic. I don’t regret it."
—Anonymous
13. "My ex-boyfriend had a selfie of me as his background on his phone. He insisted that I couldn't post it on any social media or use it for anything because it was his favorite photo and he decided he 'owned' it. Immediately after we broke up, I posted it on social media, and it became my Tinder profile picture for the week I had Tinder. Absolutely no fucks given and no regrets."
14. "One time, my live-in boyfriend and I got in a fight, and I left to stay with my parents for the night. Before I left, I made sure to take all the toilet paper, TV remotes, and phone chargers from the house. I came back the next day, and he told me he didn't realize I'd taken the toilet paper until he was on the toilet. I laugh just thinking about it."
—Anonymous
15. "I’d go to his profiles on streaming services and 5-star, upvote, or love shows he had no interest in watching."
16. "My a-hole ex ditched me when my car broke down while driving back to Orange County from Northern California in a caravan. I figured I was done with him (for the umpteenth time) and dismembered his favorite stuffed lion. He was oddly obsessed with it as an adult. Turns out, we weren’t quite done at the time, but I did eventually get out of that dumpster fire relationship. I don’t actually regret what I did to that lion."
—Anonymous
17. "My dad’s family are low-key racist and never accepted my mom — or me for having a nonwhite mom. They were thrilled when my parents got divorced, but that meant my mom stopped being the person to pick out all of their thoughtful, nice, pricey Christmas and birthday presents every year. My dad was useless at shopping, so he asked me to take over picking out all the family presents. Revenge is a dish best served from a decorative Christmas-themed cake knife that plays 'Jingle Bells' for an hour whenever you touch it."
18. "In high school, my boyfriend of about three months broke up with me over email. I didn’t see his message before school the next day (this was before smartphones), so I unknowingly kissed my now–ex-boyfriend between classes, and he didn’t say a word about what he had done. Finally, I got home and realized he'd emailed me the day before and ended things with me. I went through and trashed all the memorabilia of our fallen relationship. Then I remembered I had his all-time favorite hoodie. Yeah, that went straight to Goodwill, and I told him what I did…over email."
19. Finally: "My now–ex-husband was being a colossal jerk while we were out, and I came down with a migraine. He kept accusing me of not trying hard enough to feel better and being attention seeking. Anyone who gets migraines knows you hit a point where anything that goes into your stomach is pretty much guaranteed to come right back up. He kept nagging at me to drink this bottle of water, and I kept trying to tell him I'd puke, but he didn't believe me. When we were finally headed home, I chugged the water while walking to the car. Not two minutes into the ride home, I uncontrollably projectile-vomited all over the interior (despite my effort to get the window open). This car was brand spankin' new, and he'd only had it a few months. He had to get it detailed, there was so much vomit in nooks and crannies. I have zero regrets, and he stopped being a dick when I got migraines."
What's the pettiest thing you've ever done? OR, what's the pettiest thing someone has ever done to you?? Tell us in the comments!
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.