Notoriously, the day of sharing love is also a day of pain for chronically single folk. So, in honour of the uncoupled (and those who enjoy the misery of others), this roundup of bad dating anecdotes is our gift to you.
We've pulled disaster dating stories from all over the world wide web to remind you that being single ain't so bad! It's all about perspective.
And just to soften the blow, we've accompanied the stories with GIFs from New Girl, because every dating plot in the show was basically a hilarious horror story.
1. First up, this story of childlike surprise...
"I (29F) met this guy (32M) on Hinge and we [were] talking for about a week. He lived an hour away from me so we were trying to plan our first date. We spent a lot of time talking on the phone, had some FaceTime dates and I was really feeling him. He was handsome and fit with a good job and no kids, that was rare enough as is."
2. The tale of the "Cockblocking bitch"
3. This Goldmember moment was surely one to remember (or, one to desperately forget)
4. The California hot dog bonanza
"I went on a Tinder date with a guy who is now in my contacts as 'Donotanswer Penispic'. Prior to the date he seemed normal. We texted and talked on the phone then arranged to meet at a restaurant/bar. He was cute but definitely bitter about something. He was from California and apparently didn't like this new city we were in. He started complaining about how uptight everyone here is about sex."
5. The case of tattooed and terrible
6. A sticky, spicy and sucky story...
7. This moment that reminds us that sharing is caring (and in some cases, highly necessary)
"There was a couple kind of catty-cornered from us that had a bit of an 'off' vibe. We could see them, but not really hear them, so we asked our server friend what was up. She said it seemed to be a first or second date that was a bit awkward. The girl had ordered one of those enormous margaritas, and was not sharing it with her date."
8. Introducing a fun first date game — recruiting or dating?
9. In this next episode of recruiting or dating...
10. This story that will make you say "Fuck that"
11. The story of Chicken Finger Sammy
"We meet at a local pub for a few drinks, and we get chicken fingers. The conversation is terrible, but I notice she's taking the chicken fingers and ripping them up in her hands and putting the breading in her huge purse. So naturally I call her out on it."
12. Let's call this one "Congratulations, you played yourself"
13. The man from Sooky La La Land
14. We like to call this one "Imagination Island"
15. Add this to a series named Uptight Tales
16. A coming of age tale that warms hearts (and legs)...
17. Speak Now? More like, talk never...
"He had written a song for his ex and it was on YouTube. I looked it up when I got home and it was a cover of Taylor Swift’s 'Love Story' with the lyrics changed to be about them. He had made a full music video of himself running around in nature, climbing trees and stuff, to go with it."
18. This episode is called Bootleg Breaking Bad
19. This story is a reminder to all daters: Bring your phones to the bathroom
20. And finally, a strangers-to-spouses story as old as time
"We’d met online in a music forum when we were teens, he was travelling through my city and we met for a drink. Our relationship was PURELY PLATONIC, no hint of flirtation. He proposed, with a ring and everything, within 45 minutes of our first in person meeting. When I declined he threatened to become a monk and never love again."
If you've made it to the end, just remember: It's okay to never want to speak to another human again.
Share your bad dating stories below!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.