How To Adult
If I did these things when I first started working, I probably wouldn't be living with my parents right now.
Because by your quarter-century, you should have your shit together.
Wow, I had so much energy back then.
Your drivers licence might say you're 23, but we all know you're ACTUALLY 87.
Because you now have ageing concerns AND adult acne to contend with.
True love is a myth and you're all high on serotonin.
Mum, forgive me for being an ungrateful slug at dinnertime. I know better now.
Because if I spend another $100 on a plant that dies, I will torch my local nursery.
Could someone please explain why adulting is so damn expensive?
Time to end rumours you live on packet noodles alone.
Sometimes a gal's gotta venture further afield than her local Kmart.
You know you're getting old when you can't remember how old you are.
Help me please, I want to be a little kid again.
Going back to study might seem impossible, but trust me, you can do this!
Mysterious love is overrated — give me brutal honesty any day of the week.
These are sure to make you feel like a proper ~adult~.
"The retirement age needs to be lowered to 25. I've had enough."
Sleep is for the youth!
Becoming a functioning adult should come with a warning, tbh.
This is definitely a self-drag.
Shoutout to my fellow Sydney-siders for putting up with Australia's shittiest property market.
ALWAYS 👏 PREHEAT👏 YOUR👏 PAN.
Women can have it all. There, I said it.
*Saves to bookmarks for when I eventually move out.*
Moving out of home seems cool until you have to start doing shit for yourself.
Nobody needs to know the truth.
Being an adult means never ending chores, back pain and being broke.
"I'll be feeling ~randy~ at approximately 6 p.m. this evening — how's your diary looking?"
Help me ~adult~, please.