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How To Host A Dinner Party Like The Grown-Ass Adult You Are

Time to end rumours you live on packet noodles alone.

We’re adults now. It’s no longer enough to order a pizza in, get your mates to BYO their own goon.

Here is a fool-proof, step-by-step guide to throwing a dinner party and convincing your guests of your maturity.

1. Set the scene with linen that puts your grandma’s yellowed lace tablecloth to shame.

2. Pick up a classic, minimalist glass vase for the flowers your mates bring that will eventually die.

3. Use light-diffusing votive candle holders for ~aesthetic~.

4. Dress up your unremarkable white dinner plates with textured AF chargers.

5. Replace the mismatched forks and knives with cutlery that shines with the strength of a million suns.

6. Find yourself some cloth napkins — a classic white or tonal colour that complements your table cloth.

7. Play your carefully-curated playlist from a portable speaker (that doubles as a clock!).

8. Build a cheese board attractive enough to tempt even the lactose-intolerant.

9. Bring back wine buckets. Please, I beg of you.

10. Serve a crowd favourite cocktail in glassware that's a little bit schmancy.

11. Serve water from a carafe that is shaped like the horn of plenty itself.

12. Make sure the content of your salad bowl is interesting. Yes, I know what I said.

13. Prepare your meal in cookware attractive enough to set down on the table.

14. And lastly, a cake stand for that cake you maybe (definitely) didn't bake yourself.