We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.
1. A glass candy cane dildo so you can have some sweet, sweet orgasms. 'Tis the season!
2. A small waterproof finger vibe with three speeds made especially for heavenly clitoral stimulation that might make you sing.
It even has a textured finish and a curved base for g-spot stimulation!
Promising review: "It comes discreet in a cute little pink box and within that box comes the toy and a sleek black bag you can put it in. It's so cute, portable, and amazing for all occasions whether solo or with your partner." —E
Get it from Amazon for $14.99.
3. An oral sex simulator that just might be better than the real thing — it has 10 tongues.
Ok, probably not, but it can try. Especially with three speeds and a reverse function.
Promising review: "This toy is everything it promises to be, and should be part of every girl's toy box! The tongues feel amazing. They are silky soft, and once a little lube is added the fun can begin. This toy lives up to its name and it will have you squealing through your build-up and the delivery of an intense orgasm!" —Blondie319
Get it from Love Honey for $39.99 (available in two colors).
4. A Santa vibe so the jolliest man alive can keep you ho ho ho-ing all night long. It's a personal present from him to you.
"Oh, Santa baby" — you probably.
Get it from Spencer's for $12.99.
5. A truly quirky rubber ducky vibe that'll make you quack with pleasure.
Your soon-to-be favorite rubber ducky has three vibration speeds you can change by squeezing his cute little body!
Promising review: "I love my Duckie! The newest one is the best; three speeds for the win! I can find many ways to use my ducky, because it has different shapes on different parts of it. I like holding onto his head while using his tail. I can put him down for months to use something else and still get excited to come back to him!" —Anon
Get it from Babeland for $33.
6. A pretty penguin clit vibrator with 11 different modes to drive you crazy, because they mate for life and your private parts aren't excluded.
Promising review: "Adorable design as opposed to the obnoxious, bright pink penguin. Magnetic charger is easy to use and the penguin charges quickly. This toy means business, the sensations are amazing and it offers different degrees of intensity." —eggbuelkicks
Get it from Amazon for $33.62.
7. A candy cane vibe, because you definitely want to be on the nice list this year, especially if the nice list includes multiple orgasms.
Promising review: "Best reliable slim vibrator on the market. You want to kick it up a notch use Ultimate Lithium batteries, we do, WOW! It's like hitting a different level and makes the vibrator a lot lighter so your hand won't get as tired." —lancasterbrood
Get it from Amazon for $12.51 (available in two colors).
8. A whopping nine-inch vibe for everyone who prefers length to girth this holiday season.
Promising review: "Wow. This will change your life. It's so incredibly versatile. It's quiet. The size was a bit intimidating at first, but it's perfect." —Blowtortchbarbie
Get it from Amazon for $19.78.
9. A set of kinky ben-wa balls to stimulate your g-spot and strengthen your pelvic floor. Who knew working out could be so ~pleasurable~?
Promising review: "I had been meaning to try out some of these Ben Wa balls ever since seeing Fifty Shades (I know, like many other women out there). At first I was worried that they might slip out, but after making sure they were positioned carefully there was no way these were coming out accidentally; to remove them required quite a tug! While I couldn't feel a great lot while they were in, they clearly did make me more aroused as after a few minutes I was absolutely soaking wet. My husband loved knowing that I was wearing them waiting for him to come home and he also enjoyed being the one to remove them!" —MarySue
Get them from Love Honey for $9.99.
10. A touch-free clit stimulator with super-cool vacuum technology for an intense end to your ~private time~. Who needs oral when you have this, baby?
Promising review: "This is by far the best clitoral stimulator I have ever had the chance to try. Ladies, I would recommend this for any of you who prefer clitoral stimulation. It has plenty of settings, but even the first setting is enough for me to have an orgasm almost immediately. It's completely waterproof and very easy to clean!" —C.G.
Get it from Amazon for $49.47.
Check out our closer look at this clit-sucking sex toy here!
11. A simple velvet touch vibe you can use for clitoral or vaginal stimulation. A jack of all trades and the master of your orgasm!
Promising review: "This is my first vibrator I've had and I love it! It has a decent diameter but it's nothing intimidating. The texture of it is my favorite part — it really is like velvet. Very smooth. So far the waterproofing seems to be great!" —Hana Lohr
Get it from Amazon for $12.40 (available in six colors).
12. A curved g-spot vibrator with a curved head to have you seeing the stars of the North Pole. Maybe even Ruldolph if the orgasm is that good.
13. An array of sweet heart candy butt plugs so you can keep your butthole stretched until Valentine's Day.
14. A vibrating cock ring to keep your junk nice and alert while you're getting down in-between the sheets.
15. A gargantuan purple monster capable of giving you the multiple orgasms you've asked Santa for.
Promising review: "Very big, what more can I say? This is definitely a big toy but it's exactly what's described. The suction is very good and it still stays in place during any activity. The girth is really thick and the material feels realistic with the features of veins and wrinkles. All in all this toy is very big, very nice, and pleasurable." —Thrifty Mommas
Get it from Amazon for $14.99 (available in two sizes).
16. A crystal anal starter dildo to slowly stretch your sphincter muscles in just the right way.
Promising review: "Feels absolutely wonderful. It slides in for a perfect fit and cool feel. I have found that glass products feel the most amazing in your body, and would recommend this to anyone looking for a really nice and feel good experience! Five stars all the way!" —Serenity
Get it from Amazon for $12.80.
17. A Fleshlight to jack into till the reindeer come home, because it's the magnum opus to penis owners everywhere.
18. Or if you want some deep throat realness, a pocket pal with some intense suction for the best orgasm you've had...today.
Promising review: "Feels like Sasha herself is here with me! This thing is so realistic and sensational!" —ChaonThe5th
Get it from Amazon for $14.91.
19. A truly magical magic wand. Not only does it get the hard-to-reach kinks out of your back, but it will literally have you reaching a peak where tears come out of your eyes. It's THAT good, y'all.
Promising review: "This is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. I used it and I found God. It was like Mariah Carey in angel wings gently lifted me to multiple orgasm. It was like when the surprise Beyoncé album dropped. It was like a hot, chiseled duded in a man-bun was whispering Audre Lorde to me until I came. It was like my high school girlfriend and I watching The OC scenes with Marissa and Alex. I had to have a cigarette after because I felt so thoroughly fucked (smoking is bad for you so don't follow that part). I felt like I was floating. I felt like Mia in The Princess Diaries when she turns the lights on with her foot pop as she's kissing Michael Moscovitz. Yeah, it's loud as hell but I live in a tiny-ass Brooklyn apartment with four other people and just decided that they could deal with the vibrating noises. Own it; you're living your best life. Real talk, I highly recommend this for anyone who has a vagina and wants clit stimulation." —Ava the Believer
Get it from Amazon for $44.91.
Check out a BuzzFeeder's post on the Magic Wand here!
20. A discrete necklace vibe to wear at every holiday party just in case you feel like getting a little frisky. We won't tell if you do.
Promising review: "Whether your taste calls for silver or gold, the Vesper is sure to increase the quality of your life. I am very impressed by its discreetly gorgeous presence. It is great for traveling, smaller than a pen, with a tiny USB charger — also discreet! It is great for public sex or last-minute sleepovers. It makes an incredible gift for anyone bold enough to experience it as a staple bullet vibe and/or accessory. Keep in mind because of the material, it does trap both mechanical and body heat, which for some is an added bonus." —Tura
Get it from Amazon for $69+ or Babeland for $69+ (available in three colors).
21. A "butterfly kiss" massager to gently but consistently press upon your sensitive bits until you say stop. A Merry Christmas, indeed.
Promising review: "This is a keeper. It's perfect for stimulating simultaneous orgasms and I didn't even need the highest speed." —laura long
Get it from Amazon for $8.15 (available in two colors).
22. An ultra-expensive 18K gold vibrator to take you to higher heights. You deserve it — you swear you've been good this year.
Get it from Lelo for $3,900 (available in gold or silver).
23. And a bow costume so your lover can view you as a snack they definitely wanna eat.
Get it from Love Honey for $19.99.
You to your sex toys:
Reviews here have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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