These Insane Sex Stories Will Blow Your Fucking Mind

    The good, the bad, and the absolutely intriguing.

    Ben Henry
    by Ben Henry

    BuzzFeed Staff

    Sex is great! Fact! But everybody's at least a little curious about what other people are doing in their sex lives, right? Below are 19 BuzzFeed lists of stories ranging from having the best orgasm to the worst threesomes and everything in between. Knock yourself out!

    Below each list is a story from the post itself, so you can get an idea of what to expect. You're welcome.

    1. 43 Unspeakable Sexual Fantasies People Actually Have

    Netflix

    "I want a hot guy go down on me and make me come while my boyfriend watches so he can finally learn how to do it right."

    —19/Female/Heterosexual

    2. 15 Orgy Horror Stories That'll Make You Quit Sex Forever

    Netflix

    "It was my 38th birthday and my friends and I took a bartender home. After things got hot, the dude said, 'You know what I’m really into? Getting eaten out.' My friend Denise wasn’t having it, but I’d done it before and this guy was 100% grade-A beef, so I agreed. He was on his back, and Denise was sitting on his face, so I started working from his balls, to his taint, to his backdoor. As I went to town, he suddenly sharted in my mouth. I immediately sterilized my mouth with a bottle of vodka and left. I haven’t seen any of them since."

    —bageenadavis

    3. 15 Threesome Horror Stories That'll Make You Want To Give Up Sex

    NBC

    "I was in a threesome with two guys who happened to be friends. One of them insisted I blow him while riding the other one. He pushed my head really hard into him, right as he was about to cum, which made me choke and pull away. This made all of his cum spray right onto his buddy’s face, and a bit got into his mouth. I will always wonder if their friendship survived that sperm facial."

    —laurenh44

    4. 18 Kinky AF Things People Have Actually Done During Sex

    Universal

    "I’m in a full-time Master/slave dynamic with my partner. One of my biggest kinks is piss play and humiliation. My fondest memory was having 22+ men pee on me while I was wearing a cone of shame. After being peed on, my Master forced me to sit in the pee for a long time before being allowed to shower off. It was definitely one of the hottest things I’ve ever done."

    –Littlemissles

    5. 15 Big-Dick Horror Stories That'll Make You Quit Sex Forever

    VH1

    "My ex and I were having sex, missionary. I went to shift the angle of my hips at the exact moment he broke rhythm and give me a surprise, extra hard and fast thrust. This completely destroyed my perineum. I lived with my grandma at the time, and I couldn't get the tear to stop bleeding. We were freaking out, so I went into the living room, holding the bloody towel over my crotch, and asked grandma what to do. She was more concerned that I had stained one of the good hands towels."

    —kourtnip

    6. 17 Penis Horror Stories Guaranteed To Make You Laugh

    Logo TV

    "Years ago I dated a guy from work and gave him a blow job. He randomly started distancing himself from me, but later on we grabbed drinks. He asked me, 'Do you remember what you had for lunch on Sunday?' I had no idea, but he said, 'You had cashew chicken... I’m allergic to cashews.' Apparently his dick had exploded into a swollen, itchy, red, skin-peeling member from the blow job I gave him. Whoops."

    —carlyp4

    7. 17 Times Sex Almost Went Too Fucking Far In 2016

    Comedy Central

    "My master put in an anal speculum and opened it up all the way. After he came in my ass, he gave me a piss enema and peed inside of me. I came super hard from it."

    –Littlemissles

    8. 20 Insane Sex Stories That'll Make You Re-Evaluate Your Sex Life

    Logo

    "One time my boyfriend (now husband) worked in props on the movie set of Mean Girls and after they finished with the set of Regina's room, they were supposed to tear it down. After hours, we had sex on the bed and in the tub."

    –Jesusluvsme

    9. 17 Sexting Horror Stories That Prove Hell Is Real

    Fox

    "My boyfriend and I are in high school, and though we're waiting to do the dirty, we sometimes sext. The day after our most explicit conversation, his parents (who are super conservative and Mormon) decided to check his phone. Instead of having a talk with their son, they DROVE TO MY HOUSE and had a long chat with my parents, complete with screenshots of our texts. We haven’t sexted since."

    —Anonymous

    10. 18 Bizarre Sex Stories That'll Make You Think Twice About Having Sex Again

    FX

    "Me and my (now ex) boyfriend were fooling around in bed. I thought it was going to lead to sex, but instead he grabbed my labia and started opening and closing it while saying, 'Release the kraken!'"

    –ugotnojams

    11. 20 Gay Men's First-Time Sex Stories That'll Make You Laugh And Then Cry

    HBO

    "I slept with a guy I’d been seeing for a month. After the initial pain, I got into it and enjoyed it a lot. The tragedy occurred later on that night, when I realised that I had to do a number two. He said the toilet in his guest house (where we were) wasn’t working. The one in the main house was fine, but he had rented out the main house and I couldn’t go in that late, so I ended up taking a dump in his garden."

    – kyronp

    12. Here's How People Actually Orgasm

    Sony

    "I had been with a lot of guys, but it never felt right. They never made an effort to make it good for me. I had been secretly in love with my best friend (a girl) for years, but I was afraid of judgement from my family and afraid of rejection. Finally I had the nerve to tell her how I felt and on our first night together, she gave me seven amazing, mind-blowing orgasms. It was an earth-shattering night and here we are, five years later, happily married with a house and all our pets and still those mind-blowing orgasms."

    —23/Female/Lesbian

    13. 20 Same-Sex Hookup Stories From Straight Guys

    HBO

    "A guy once gave me his number out of the blue at a restaurant. A few weeks later I was bored and horny (and a little stoned) so I called him. He invited me over to his place to watch porn with him and his roommate. It wasn't long before we were all in bed having a threesome. I'm happily married to a woman now, but I'm glad I did that back then. It was fun and it felt good.

    "You don't have to be gay to enjoy playing with a dick at some point!"

    —32/Male/Straight

    14. 12 Sex + Food Horror Stories You Won't Be Able To Unread

    CBS

    "My friend always tells the story of how her brother and his girlfriend once bought a salad at a gas station so that he could eat it out of her vagina. A few days later she went to the ER with maggots in her vag."

    —sydneys4bcf4f85a

    15. 16 BDSM Sex Stories That Went Hilariously Wrong

    Lions Gate Films

    "One time during a session with my dom he was whipping me fairly hard while I had a bit gag in my mouth. I started to bite down and one of my teeth broke. Needless to say I didn’t care to continue after that."

    —morbidconcerto

    16. 21 First-Time Horror Stories That'll Make You Never Want To Have Sex

    Columbia

    "We were on his farm, in the bed of a pickup truck. Normal for a small town. There was also a dead raccoon in the back of the pickup."

    —rachelm15

    17. 18 Steamy AF Stories About Makeup That Stayed On During Crazy-Good Sex

    NBC

    "I went over to suck my FWB off. Even after the 30-minute-long blow job that got pretty messy, the Kylie Lip Kit lipstick was still in place! No need to reapply before I left. No one could tell that I was just sucking the life out of some guy."

    —Anonymous

    18. 19 One-Night Stand Horror Stories That Will Make You Celibate

    Fox

    "Somehow, I ended up in bed with a guy who legit believed he was a werewolf. The 'foreplay' was him telling me about what being a lycanthrope was like. He bit me and said, "I hope this doesn't change you." I still don't know why I didn't leave right then and there. I blame the alcohol."

    —rosak4223715fe

    19. 13 Sex Stories That’ll Make You Want To Go To Church, Get On Your Knees, And Pray

    HBO

    "I lost my virginity on the floor in a church. I'm probably going to hell."

    —Anonymous

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