Here's How People Actually Orgasm
BuzzFeed asked people to share what it took to finally make them orgasm. Here are their open and honest answers.
Orgasms can be tricky. Not only do they not teach How To Get Off 101 in sex ed, but it can also take a lot of experimenting to find out exactly what your body responds to and what you need in order to orgasm.
To show that there's no one-size-fits-all path to orgasming, BuzzFeed asked people of all ages, genders, and sexualities to describe their first noteworthy orgasms. Here are just some of the responses:
"I had been with a lot of guys, but it never felt right. They never made an effort to make it good for me. I had been secretly in love with my best friend (a girl) for years, but I was afraid of judgement from my family and afraid of rejection. Finally I had the nerve to tell her how I felt and on our first night together, she gave me seven amazing, mind-blowing orgasms. It was an earth shattering night and here we are, five years later, happily married with a house and all our pets and still those mind-blowing orgasms."
"I have to have my asshole licked. Seriously, I won't be able to come unless there is some tongue action in the backdoor. The first time I had sex involved my former partner sucking my dick (technically enlarged clit from testosterone) and it was going on for what seemed like an hour (with breaks to jerk me off) so they took me be surprise and licked my asshole and I almost came immediately! So now I am very into butt stuff."
"I was laying in my bunk bed on my iPod touch. I was 13 and confused about my sexuality. I started watching videos of guys kissing and began touching my erection. I didn't really know what was going on, but eventually I felt this intense pleasure. About 20 minutes later, I did it again."
"After 10 years of marriage and never having an orgasm, I found myself single again. A friend told me I needed to discover who I was again, including sexually. I ordered a dildo online and as a free gift, they sent a small finger vibrator too. Thinking nothing of it, I put the vibrator aside. I tried to explore with the dildo, but an orgasm never seemed to reveal itself to me. In a moment of desperation I tried the vibrator on my clit and OMG. I will never forget the feeling of my whole body seizing up with pleasure. It took me a few minutes to recover. But from then on out, clit stimulation has been the only way I can orgasm. But I'm not complaining."
"I was in high school and my older sister surprised me with a vibrator. Was using it over my underwear for the first time because of how sensitive I was. I was not expecting much to happen. BOOM. Instantaneous orgasm. I. Did. Not. Stop. Masturbating. For. The. Rest. Of. The. Damn. Night."
"I thought I was immune. I have an extremely insensitive body and from second base to oral, none of it stimulated me in the way most people described it. Sex was okay — albeit a little meh — for me until I got my first boyfriend. One night I decided to try dirty talking, which really turned him and, strangely enough, turned ME on in a way physical stimulation never did. Things got hot and heavy but through it all, I was the one in control, teasing him, making him work for it. I'm not sure exactly why or how, but the psychological power trip and feeling wanted were what did it for me and that was the night I had my first orgasm."
"Oral sex. He hummed while doing it, which created extra vibration and I had my first orgasm."
"The first seriously intense orgasm I had was when I was with my ex. I had never bottomed before we got together, so the whole thing was new to me. I was riding him and he hit my prostate just right and I came hands free. It's a completely different sensation from normally masturbating. I thought I would never stop convulsing."
"When I was younger and started to jack off, I would never come. I would sit there for what seemed like forever just wasting lotion (though my dick was the most moisturized body part on anyone west of the Mississippi). It wasn't until I started to spread my legs and played with my perineum and ass that I would not only come, but literally empty out."
"My first orgasm was fricking great and a little embarrassing. I had a girlfriend over and we were making out and things got a little serious. We slipped into the shower for a hot makeout sesh and there was some fingering, and she was a bit older than me so she was GOOD at it. I climaxed, collapsed onto the floor, and knocked myself unconscious on the edge of the tub. I woke up to a throbbing headache and a handsome EMT guy trying to help my naked ass stand up. We are good friends now, but I ended up with a concussion and that girl ditched me after she called 911. Never heard from her again, but I have a new awesome friend and a great story about my first orgasm."
"l have to have clitoral stimulation. Penetration feels really nice at first, but eventually it doesn't feel like anything. The first time I used vibrations on my clit was insane. I used a (clean) electric toothbrush and after 30 seconds I was squirting. I had no idea what was happening and I thought I had peed! Turns out that's kinda normal. The orgasm itself was decent, but I was covered in fluids. It was crazy."
"I was 18 and working at a restaurant. A coworker and I had been crushing hard on each other. We had never gotten together and one night a group of guy coworkers were going to go clubbing. He let me know he was coming to my place after they were done. He came prepped with condoms and Gatorade, which at the time seemed like a strange combo. He was very active and the sex was incredible. The mattress ended up half off my bed with me awkwardly positioned on the box spring. He was penetrating me and that's when I realized, it's about to happen, I'm going to have an orgasm.
We both came at the same time and really needed the Gatorade afterwards."
"I was probably about 10 years old and was laying down napping in the back of an RV. The vibration of my thighs from the movement of the vehicle started to feel really nice and I remember moving my body along with it until suddenly I orgasmed. Of course I had no idea what had happened, but let's just say I was a fan of car-ride napping from then on."
"The first time I had a orgasm was when I was taking a bath, I used the shower head. I wasn’t planning on having an orgasm (because at that time I didn’t know how) but it felt so good and then, BAM. It just happened and it felt AMAZING!
After that I took a lot of showers."
"My girlfriend sat on top of me last year and held a vibrator to me until I came. Was never able to get off before then. Sometimes that's the only way I still can."
"I lost my virginity seven months ago, but it wasn't until a few weeks ago when I ordered a vibrating dildo that I experienced my first mind-blowing orgasm. It felt different than the orgasms I had had with my partner and it left me completely satisfied and speechless for a couple minutes afterward. Ladies, explore your options! Who knows what you might discover!"
"I had taken a pot edible and felt incredibly sensitive down there during a shower. Started playing around and it was the most amazing feeling in the world."
"I don't have an interest in sex, but I do masturbate from time to time. I used to only use clitoral stimulation because I was kinda scared of pain, but one day I tried to finger myself with another couple fingers on my clit and I had my first BIG orgasm."
"I was a young and eager learner. I had a major back surgery when I was twelve that left me bedridden for almost a month. I was staying with my grandmother who was very much a part of the local church. Well, her bible study felt bad for me having to be stuck in bed, so they all chipped in and bought me a mini laptop. Long story short, within a day I was feeling myself to porn I had found. I discovered the clitoris and never looked back. Thanks, church ladies!"
"Well, it was an accident. You know how some people can have orgasms from certain workouts and yoga? So now imagine a younger me doing some more advanced yoga and then, wham! I get this tingly awesome feeling. I didn't realize it at the time but once I got home (yes, I was in a studio) my underwear was a mess and realized, I just was sort of masturbating. I haven't done yoga in public since."
"I was really naive growing up, so much to the point I didn't know how to masturbate. Well, upon getting my first boyfriend who popped my cherry, he was surprised to find I didn't even know how to masturbate. He ended up behind me, guiding me on the process and when I orgasmed, it was the biggest shock of my life. I sat there bewildered that I could have been experiencing this for years. So yeah, my first orgasm was him teaching me to masturbate."
"I was probably in 10th (maybe 11th?) grade and I had bruise on my hip from bumping into a table or something. So there I was in bed, reading explicit (and probably Avengers) fanfiction, and my laptop kept digging into that bruise while I was rubbing myself. It was fantastic, euphoric. I'm finally to the point now that I can orgasm without being in pain but it's still definitely the quickest route."
"Shockingly enough it was when I lost my virginity! In a last ditch effort to come, I decided to ride him even though my legs were killing me from working out. I have to say it was the best choice I'd made all week. I found the best angle and I worked for it. It was pretty awesome but I couldn't even stand up afterwards. Riding him is a lot of work!"
"I can simply say, my heart needs to be open before my body is. I was frustrated for years because I had such a difficult time having an orgasm, but now I accept that about myself that for me, sex is deeply emotional, so having a strong heart connection is the most important factor to my having an orgasm. If I am alone, I basically think about someone I love to make it work, but mostly masturbation bores me."
"When I was in high school, we had HBO on the living room TV. I would stay up later than my mom and sister, and watch Real Sex on the lowest volume. I wouldn't touch myself for fear that they would pop out around the corner and see. Instead, I squeezed my abs and did Kegels in succession until I orgasmed. It's still my favorite way to come."
"The first notable orgasm that I had with a partner was when I was 19. I had been seeing a girl for a few weeks and we were at her house alone, so one thing led to another and she started going down on me. It was incredible. I can't remember how long it lasted, but it couldn't have been long before I came."
"I was 27 years old when I had my first orgasm. I was able to manually stimulate myself to get close but could never go over. My long-distance boyfriend convinced me to buy a Pocket Rocket and 'walked' me through using it over the phone...you know, applying different types of pressure in different places, moving it to various parts of the clitoris instead of straight on, etc. The orgasm took me COMPLETELY by surprise. I felt like there wasn't even a warning. I just started screaming, 'Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," over and over again for a couple of minutes. My throat was sore by the time it was over, I had dropped the phone, and all I wanted was a blessedly-long nap."
"Sometimes I feel like the only one who prefers this for an orgasm, but P-in-V is the best way to get an orgasm for me. Oral sex has always been just meh for me. My clit is just too sensitive for that to be as enjoyable and the orgasm isn't as intense and rarely happens. When I figured out the right position to G-spot orgasm, OMG! The first time my boyfriend at the time and I tried doggy style, I got there, multiple times. I find that either that, or lying on my stomach puts my partner and I in position for the best orgasm for me."
"While inside my boyfriend, I told him to play with my nipples when he wanted me to come. At the right moment he reached out with both hands and stimulates my nipples simultaneously and it sent me over the edge instantly. To this day he always knows he has a 'go switch' when we are having sex."
"When I was 14, I masturbated for the first time to some really bad gay porn on the home computer after school. It was taking forever and I thought I was doing the wrong thing, but all of a sudden I felt it coming and needless to say, 14 years of jizz went everywhere. I thought I broke my dick."
"In order to achieve a mind-blowing orgasm, I need to be face down with my legs straight and with clitoral stimulation. I'll usually ride a guy, straighten my legs (so I'm lying down on top of him). Occasionally I can achieve an orgasm if we're having sex from behind while I lie face down on the bed while he stimulates my clitoris. But legs have to be straight!"
"I get in my head when I'm with a partner, and even though I can get myself off easily, I think too hard when a guy is trying to get me off. I got really drunk with my childhood friend once and we had sex, and he was able to make me come. I think it was the combination of lowered inhibitions from alcohol and being with someone I completely trusted that allowed me to (finally) come with another person."
"I wasn't able to orgasm until late into my college years. I had been dating my then-boyfriend for quite a few months and although the sex was fun, he could never quite get me there. That was until I watched him dance with another girl at a club. I had never been cheated on or anything close, so watching them grind got me incredibly jealous, but surprisingly aroused. We had sex like animals that night and the thought of them grinding raced through my brain the whole time and I found myself having my very first true and intense orgasm. It is now a major part of all my fantasies."
"So I've been on antidepressants since before I started really trying to have an orgasm. In particular, an antidepressant that makes it notoriously hard to come. Like, really hard. So, I finally took a step when I went away to college and bought myself a vibrator. It took a little practice, but when I got there, boy did I get there. It was a good one and it's only gotten better since!"
"I was fingered by my girlfriend at the time. I don't have amazing, hardcore orgasms — more like the kind that ebb and flow over time then leave me weak at the knees and grinning from ear to ear. It took me a while to figure out that it was actually an orgasm. I usually need plenty of clit play and G-spot stimulation and a partner who is in tune with my needs and gender identity."
"My wife and I waited 'til the wedding night. And we were both virgins. It was my first time seeing a woman completely naked romantically, and same for her with a man. Not sure how it happened really, but we both came together during first intercourse. It was pretty special — serendipitous, one could say."
"Took until I was 28. I had a conservative religious upbringing. I lost my virginity at 24. In general, I learned that it was just a matter of relaxing, which I mean mostly from a mental standpoint but also physically. Even though I wasn't fully aware of it, I was very uncomfortable with any expression of my own sexuality throughout my adolescence and into my 20s. I didn't even masturbate. The first few times I had sex (with women; hadn't figured out I was bi yet), I didn't come. I reached orgasm for the first time while masturbating — something that happened very late in the game for me! First time I came with a partner was with a guy going down on me. Interestingly, my experiences with men helped me reach a level of comfort where I could orgasm with both male and female partners."
"I'd been having sex for five years when I had my first real orgasm. I'd just given up on it ever happening and assumed there was something wrong with me. I bought the Womanizer off of Amazon on a whim and that thing honestly changed my life. It took some serious patience and exploration to figure out what does it for me, but now I can reliably get myself off with just about anything so long as I have about 30 minutes of clitoral stimulation."
"Penetrative intercourse has always been difficult for me to enjoy. I have vaginismus and after having several guys dismiss my actual medical problem by saying it was just an excuse for me to refuse sex with them, my first boyfriend came along and he was very understanding. He did his best to communicate with me and make sure I wasn't in any sort of pain but was enjoying myself. My first orgasm was through cunnilingus. Despite us both being rather inexperienced in the bedroom, he was surprisingly very good at going downtown. He got the job done and for the first time, I felt like even if my sexual experiences would have to be handled with care, I could still have a fulfilling physical relationship with my partner."
"The first time I had an orgasm was completely by accident. I was watching Nip/Tuck which was one of the raunchiest shows I had ever seen at that age. I decided to get a snack. The other side of the counter is elevated, so I lifted myself to see the TV a bit and a sex scene came on. I immodestly got erect and the dishwasher was going below and vibrating the counter. It felt amazing and I just came in my shorts there in the kitchen. I thought it was the best thing and thought, 'How do I do that again?'"
"One word: Pillow."