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1. An acupressure wristband, because reviewers swear this helps put an end to unpleasant nausea whether it's due to pregnancy, flying, vertigo, WHATEVER. Say farewell to trial-and-error treatments that really add up and say hello to sweet, sweet relief.
2. A bottle of Arctic Fox semi-permanent hair color for a treatment that works on even dark hair (!!!) and puts expensive coloring jobs to SHAME. The shades are super saturated and the formula conditions while it treats your tresses, so your hair is left super soft. Aka you'll soon have a colorful, shiny mane.
3. A set of Schtick dermaplaning razors to remove peach fuzz painlessly (and without paying for a wax). It's gentle, precise, and won't leave irritation marks like most threading or razors. Aka your face will be as smooth as a baby's bottom and you'll never have to pay the price.
4. A five-in-one aerator that'll not only improve the taste of even cheap vino right out of the bottle, but resealing it when you're done. This lil' bb can neatly pour, aerate, filter, stopper, and prevent leaks all by itself. Heck, it surely deserves a toast.
5. A FlexiSnake drain unclogger so you can discover standing in water while showering is actually very avoidable — especially since this takes less than a minute to use. AND it'll save you money in the long run when you don't need maintenance to unclog your sink.
6. A set of waistline and bra extenders, because this'll make sure you can wear your clothes without them constantly pinching and pulling. These'll provide a little more ~breathing room~ *and* prevent having to buy a whole new wardrobe.
7. A Squatty Potty for relieving you from backed-up bowels and giving you a ~leg up~ on efficient, er, toilet sessions without a hefty charge whatsoever. Translation: YOU WILL POOP LIKE NEVER BEFORE.
8. A pack of Avarelle rounded or extra-large acne patches to cheaply tackle every kind of breakout that dares to challenge your complexion. They're both powered by tea tree oil and calendula oil (all of which are gentle on sensitive skin) to reduce inflammation and absorb pus, whether it's just one zit or a spread-out breakout you can cover with one patch.
9. A John Frieda lightening spray that'll combine its formula of citrus and chamomile to lighten hair up to ~two shades~ in only three to five uses! For under $10, you just prolonged (if not *replaced*) coloring treatments that cost you HUNDREDS of dollars!
10. A mini knife sharpener so you can bring those inexpensive knives you've had since freshman year of college back to pristine condition. No need to go out and buy a fancier set.
11. A honey leather conditioner, because this'll undo any possible damage on your leather or suede boots from walking through mud, salt, you name it. Spending less than $20 on this > having to invest in another pair of boots.
12. A tea tree oil for addressing multiple issues at once, like rosacea, acne, scarring, and razor bumps — just to name a few! Under $10 AND fast-acting? I need a moment.
13. A Clorox ToiletWand that'll remove tough stains and eliminate germs in the fastest amount of time. Aka this'll give you a brand-new potty without so much as a delivery fee (and its long handle will keep you at a lovely arm's length the whole time).
14. A pack of SweatBlock clinical antiperspirant wipes so those of us who are just constantly ~damp~ can finally tell our armpits who's boss. So long, huge copays just to learn there's "nothing to be done." We won't miss you.
15. A set of makeup removing cloths, because these'll help you wipe even waterproof eyeliner and mascara away faster than you can dive into bed — not to mention they'll save you $$$ on disposal makeup wipes.
16. An Ecotools makeup brush cleansing–shampoo for extending the ~shelf life~ of your brushes by washing away months (years?) of buildup and conditioning their bristles back to their original form in a matter of minutes.
17. A wine stain–removing spray to take care of not-so-ruined clothing or furniture whenever a night goes a little *sour*. This'll spritz the mess away so you can pretend like it never happened — no need to replace your precious throw blanket.
18. A tube of BioFreeze gel that'll enlist its cooling menthol formula to relieve back pain, shoulder knots, knee soreness, you name it. If there's an aching muscle, this'll numb it — all before you spend money on a massage.
19. A Shea Moisture black soap bar so you can clear up eczema and psoriasis breakouts before you have time to scratch. Its blend of aloe, tea tree oil, and soothing oats not only calms irritated skin, but also effectively treats acne! And it saves you money? Is there anything this can't do?! NO.
20. A teeth-whitening pen, because this'll work on-the-go so you can show off brighter pearly whites without costing a lot of *green*. Not to mention, its soft-bristle brush is easier to use on uneven teeth than strips, thanks to its 360° application. AND reviewers say it doesn't cause sensitivity!
21. A wood polisher for undoing any surface scratches the minute they happen, aka you'll avoid any unexpected charges from your good old landlord. AND you won't have to buy new furniture!
22. A pack of tea oil-absorbing tissues that'll confront midday shiny T-zones head on by absorbing excess oil, controlling shine, AND soothing irritated complexions with bamboo charcoal. Meaning your days of splurging on fancy foundations full of empty promises are behind us.
23. A pet hair–remover so you can quickly de-shed your rugs and couches and put an end to your life with *furry chic* decor. Which I must tell you is not a thing. But at least now you won't need to invest in a $$$ heavy-duty vacuum!
24. A bottle of Acure brightening facial scrub, because this'll brighten your complexion (a goal that people usually think needs 100 steps and products) from face wash *alone*. This'll be your new go-to to exfoliate away excess oil and treat breakouts — all while bringing out a clear, glowing complexion from underneath. One cheap product > expensive regimens.
25. A pair of blue light glasses for relieving computer-related headaches without costing an arm and a leg (or taking any precious PTO). These minimize ~digital eye strain~ to help you avoid any midday crashes caused by your glaring screen so you actually stay in the zone.
26. A pair of compression socks that'll cheaply improve circulation in your legs by encouraging blood flow through your toes up to your knees while you work out, travel, or need to lessen painful swelling ASAP (people who are pregnant swear by these!). If you're pregnant or traveling, I need not explain why you don't want to spend more moolah.
27. A tub of Aztec healing clay so you can deep-cleanse your pores like there's no tomorrow and kiss even cystic breakouts GOODBYE. Tough breakouts? Not anymore. Overpriced facials? I think NOT.
28. A multi-purpose cleaning solution, because this'll treat just about everything under the sun: rust, burnt pans, stained tubs, worn-down sinks, even Sharpie marks (!!!). Translation: you can get everything to look like new, instead of replacing things the minute they look worn-down.
29. A bottle of earwax removal drops for effectively softening, loosening, and unclogging stubborn ear canals that are driving you up the WALL. Prepare to be grossed out and amazed all at the same time — mainly at how little you needed to spend, after all.
30. A roll of eco-friendly, reusable bamboo towels that'll help you to finally stop overspending on regular paper towels and clean up messes a whole lot faster thanks to the absorbent material. Eco conscious AND saving money? Nobody pinch me.
31. A jar of O'Keeffe's hand cream so you can drastically repair extremely chapped, cracked hands for a whopping $7. Its super concentrated cream formula contains three main ingredients: water (to hydrate parched skin cells), glycerin (to draw in moisture and accelerate the hydration process), and paraffin (to create a barrier and maintain moisture).
32. A pack of toe separators, because these'll easily realign overlapping toes and provide relief from bunions while you go about your day. Be glad you read this *before* undergoing any costly bunion-removal procedures.
33. A mold and mildew remover to restore your grout, tiles, tub, shower, and sinks quickly and easily and prevent any remodeling or repair charges.
34. A set of stylish resistance bands for cheaply strengthening your arms, legs, back, and tush when you integrate them into your home workout routine. You can use them to increase difficulty in yoga, pilates, and barre, or just to maximize shorter sessions if you only have a few minutes! Who needs to spend $$$ on a trainer?
Looking at your bank account after solving all your problems, and seeing you have so much money leftover:
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