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1. A silicone steamer in the shape of a faceless, melting pig.
2. This welcome alternative to lying your head down on a *real* skin-on salmon fillet.
3. A Gummy Bear anatomy puzzle, or: a Gummy Bear-shaped torture chamber filled with the small animal that died trying to escape it.
4. 80 pages of challenge accepted.
5. A vinyl wall decal of half an Asian businessperson.
7. What you've heard is a lie, it's actually sautéing your placenta that's the most rewarding part of parenthood.
8. A plush tonsil for anyone who's parted with an actual one.
9. This is a dick trophy.
10. The actual reason some people drool in their sleep.
11. A set of small hands that you place on each finger to make it look like your fingers have fingers.
12. A hat for looking like a botched mansquid unwelcome at the X-Mansion cool table.
13. A business-casual, disembodied husband pillow with lifeless hand detail.
14. An afro wig for dogs.
15. A pocket-sized suture pad so you can practice your flesh sewing on-the-go.
16. A pair of live Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches for $9.50, which at $4.75/roach is a steal.
17. And a life-sized Abominable Snowman statue that's a six-foot-tall, 147 lb. reminder of how you choose to spend your money.
18. A bag of edible farts that's a real gas.
19. A sexy (?) googly-eyed thong for turning your junk into a trunk.
20. Edible chocolate anuses that are super delicious, no butts about it.
21. A pair of instant undies because you never know when you're going to need them in an emergency.
The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.