1. A silicone steamer in the shape of a faceless, melting pig.
2. This welcome alternative to lying your head down on a *real* skin-on salmon fillet.
3. A Gummy Bear anatomy puzzle, or: a Gummy Bear-shaped torture chamber filled with the small animal that died trying to escape it.
4. 80 pages of challenge accepted.
5. A vinyl wall decal of half an Asian businessperson.
7. What you've heard is a lie, it's actually sautéing your placenta that's the most rewarding part of parenthood.
8. A fleece throw blanket that reminds others what you look like without skin.
9. A plush tonsil for anyone who's parted with an actual one.
10. This is a dick trophy.
11. The actual reason some people drool in their sleep.
12. A set of small hands that you place on each finger to make it look like your fingers have fingers.
13. A hat for looking like a botched mansquid unwelcome at the X-Mansion cool table.
14. A business-casual, disembodied husband pillow with lifeless hand detail.
15. 90 servings of Dippin' Dots. CUT
16. An afro wig for dogs.
17. A pocket-sized suture pad so you can practice your flesh sewing on-the-go.
18. A pair of live Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches for $8, which at $4/roach is a steal.
19. And a life-sized Bigfoot statue that's a six-foot-tall, 147lb. reminder of how you choose to spend your money.
The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.