"Androgyny is definitely spicing things up."
"I feel like my fatherhood is being threatened."
"I am EXTREMELY awkward."
"I've been hungry before... Is that an emotion?"
"I'm so grateful."
YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US, TED CRUZ!!!!!!!!
"We're all in this together. We should be kind to each other and make it as pleasant as possible while we're here.
"Men are going to become irrelevant."
"You want me to look like a giant piece of brown turd!!"
"My heart is racing!!"
"Is it too late to back out?"
Time to shit talk.
"Yeah, I mean, I've thought about it."
Warning: This post contains foul language that also kind of doesn't make sense, you solitary pubic hair.
"That animal by the side of the road was just...um...sleeping!"
Because when there's a bun in the oven, you can't eat deli meat. (That's the saying, right?)
"That's a real problem."
"It kinda looks like poop on a face. But I mean, if it makes me pretty..."
Please give me the strength for wash day.