Twin Mommy and lover of all things Disney, all things pink, all things espresso, and all things margarita. ;-)
"When one of the bride's friends asked her how it felt to be 'Mrs. So-and-So,' and she said, 'It's whatever.'"
"My student said his grandmother stole his textbook in retaliation for him stealing her wooden leg."
"10% of marriage is texting each other, 'Where are you?' from inside the same store."
‚Ich müsste irgendwo sieben grüne Bohnen haben – hast du sie genommen?‘“
「あのイルカ、反ユダヤ主義なこと言いやがって！」
"I miss you. I love you. Poop."
"Instead of using pumpkin pie filling in the pumpkin pie, my mother-in-law used leftover jack-o'-lantern from Halloween!"
謎多きライフパートナー。
Being a new parent ain't easy, but it sure is hilarious.
"My husband was dreaming he was a Budweiser frog, and he sat up, croaked, 'BUUUD,' and laid down again."
Their hearts were in the right wrong place.
"10% of marriage is texting each other, 'Where are you?' from inside the same store."
"Instead of using pumpkin pie filling in the pumpkin pie, my mother-in-law used leftover jack-o'-lantern from Halloween!"
The resemblance is real.
„Ich habe meinen Ehemann gebeten, die Oreos irgendwohin zu tun, wo ich nicht rankomme. Also hat er sie auf den Boden gelegt.“
"Checking with my husband before making plans with you is not a control thing, it's a respect thing."
"My wife and I met when she walked in on me taking a mirror selfie in the work restroom."
"My husband jumped up and said, 'I'mma kick that clown's ass and take his cotton!'"
"After we said goodbye at the airport and I sat in my car bawling like a baby."
"When one of the bride's friends asked her how it felt to be 'Mrs. So-and-So,' and she said, 'It's whatever.'"