Twin Mommy and lover of all things Disney, all things pink, all things espresso, and all things margarita. ;-)
"I was alone with my 4-year-old daughter when she began staring out a dark window and said, 'She's here.'"
"We should stop striving to be perfect," she says, "We should strive to be present."
"We don't put stuff in our butt — it's not a pocket."
パパも頑張ったんだよ〜怒らないで〜😭
„Auf einer Beerdigung hat während der Trauerrede des Pfarrers sein Handy geklingelt – und er ist rangegangen!“
"One of my college freshmen's fun fact was that she's a public pooper."
でも、なんか愛おしい（注：ただの惚気です）
ちょっと気まずいパターンも。
ただの旦那のおのろけです💖
The sarcasm is real with these guys.
"One of my college freshmen's fun fact was that she's a public pooper."
"I told my kindergartners that Eleanor Roosevelt was a First Lady, and one of my students said, 'No — EVE was the first lady!'"
"All I'm saying is that The Babysitters Club made me think taking care of kids would be a lot more fun."
Their partners will be laughing about these for a while.
いや、キレてるんでしょうけど、ちょっと笑っちゃう。
"Your shirt smells like a grandma, but your armpits smell like a Chuck E. Cheese."
The sarcasm is real with these guys.
"If you have to tell your wife, 'It was a joke,' it's already too late. Godspeed."
"I was changing my daughter's diaper in the back of my SUV and a stranger said that I was teaching her to expose herself in public."
They're having a really, really off day.