"My mom made me express dog anal glands three times a day...without gloves."
19 Parents Share The Things Their Kids Are Hiding From Them, And They Are Hilarious, Random, And Heartbreaking
"My 6-year-old son poops in the backyard every morning and blames it on the dog."
"Maybe if you didn't vape you wouldn't be sucking for air right now!" — Dad at your hockey game.
"Hey, I'm probably gonna be a little late because of who I am as a person."
18 People Share The Things That Made Them Cool In School That Would Make Them Uncool As Adults, And They're Not Wrong
"Bragging about sex. Did it as an adult, and my dad threw the family cat at me."
Dining smart at the Happiest Place on Earth.
"Just changed my relationship status from 'Single' to 'Costco Member.'"
"My kids' favorite place to go shopping for toys is the pile I just set aside for Goodwill."
"I don't always pick out the wrong item when my wife sends me to the store, but when I do, I buy it in the mega-pack."
"I heard my dad whisper, 'Oh, it's really hard, alright."
Dear brothers, put the phone down.
"You will wonder why you ever thought this was a good idea. This is normal."