15 "I Caught My Parents Having Sex" Stories That Will Honestly Make You Cringe
"I heard my dad whisper, 'Oh, it's really hard, alright."
1. "I was 12 years old when my friend and I were having a sleepover at my house and we started hearing strange sounds from my parents' bedroom. So I grabbed a flashlight, tip-toed to their bedroom, ripped the door open, and flashed them right in their faces with the flashlight, yelling, 'WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?!' Then when I saw what they were doing, I immediately ran to the bathroom and started crying."
2. "I was about seven years old and still sleeping in the bed with my mom. It was Canada Day, which also happened to be my parents' anniversary, and I woke up excited to go to the parade. But I noticed my mom wasn't next to me, and I panicked, thinking she left me. So I ran into my dad's room to tell him that she was missing, and I encountered the vivid sight of my mom and dad doing major acrobatics under the duvet, and I heard squishing noises I can never un-hear..."
3. "After I caught my parents having sex, they said it was just an 'angry nap.'"
4. "Just after high school, I moved in with my great-grandparents to help my great-grandmother, who was in the early stages of Alzheimer's. Well, one night I woke up to get a drink from the kitchen, and I saw my great-grandparents, fully naked, going at it on the living room floor! I screamed, turned around, and ran STRAIGHT INTO A GLASS CABINET! But the worst part was my great-grandfather yelling after me, 'What?! IT'S NATURAL!'"
5. "When my brother was around seven, he somehow thought it would be funny to hide underneath my parents' bed and scare them. The plan seemed cool until he got stuck underneath the frame...and heard way too much. He didn't have an exit plan, so he had to wait until the next morning to sneak out."
6. "I was in fifth grade when the U2 edition of the iPod came out. I had no idea how to download music, but my dad did. So all of his music — plus all of the audio on his computer — went to my iPod...including six 'songs' comprised of the sounds of him having sex with his girlfriend. I found out when I played my iPod at my friend's house and they came up on shuffle."
7. "I was home from college and making a cake late at night. When the timer went off, I realized I didn't know where the potholders were, so I ran upstairs, knocked on my parents' bedroom door, and asked, 'Where are the potholders?' I didn't hear a response, so I opened the door to peek inside, and my mom suddenly yelled, 'NO!' And that's when I got a FACEFUL OF MY STEPDAD'S ASS! In my moment of horror, I just groaned, 'BRUHHHHH!' and walked out."
8. "When I was about six years old, my sister caught my parents having sex and came to get me, saying, 'Look what Mommy and Daddy are doing!' I already knew that sex made babies, so I got really excited thinking they were going to have a baby, and kept asking my mom if it was a boy or a girl."
9. "I was on my mom's computer looking for an old photo of myself. So I clicked on the pictures folder, and inside was a folder of photos of my mom and dad having sex. So gross."
10. "We had just gotten back from a long trip, and my mom asked me to unpack one giant suitcase that had a mix of everybody's stuff in it. Well, near the bottom, I pulled out a container in a travel bottle. I asked my mom where she wanted it, and she said, 'Oh, that's my lube.' I screamed and dropped that bottle so freakin' quickly!"
11. "I was about 14 when I walked in on my parents doing the dirty. They both froze, and we all just stared at each other for a second until I slammed the door and ran knees-to-chest back to my room! The next day, my Dad kept saying, 'You'll knock next time!' I wanted to die."
12. "I had heard my parents a few times before, but one night they got particularly loud, so I got up and closed the door. Unfortunately, they decided this was a teachable moment, and came to talk to me about it, starting with the phrase, 'I remember the first time I heard your grandparents having sex.' It all went downhill from there."
13. "I was six years old when I went to my mom's room in the middle of the night with my Ernie doll. When I walked in, my dad scrambled from where he and my mom had been 'laying' on a towel on the bed. I always assumed the towel was part of it, but I never knew why. It stuck in my mind, and 20 years later, that's the worst part. The damn towel."
14. "It was the summer before my junior year of high school, and I had my very first sleepover with three of my friends. We were watching 50 Shades of Grey in the living room, and in the middle of the movie one of my friends started to laugh. She asked us if we heard moaning, and we said that it was coming from the movie. But she told us to listen closer, so we did...and it was coming from my parents' room!"
15. "I distinctly remember quite a few occasions when my parents told us they were going upstairs to 'flip their mattress.' They said we needed to stay downstairs so we didn't get a mattress dropped on us. One time, I failed to heed their warning because I had to tell them something super important. But thank God I relayed my message through the closed door."
Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.