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In Loving Memory Of Twitter (2006–2022), Here Are The 100 Funniest Tweets Ever Published

Bye-bye, birdie.

Twitter, you may have heard, is melting down. Following Elon Musk's acquisition of the company and mass firing of over 3,000 employees last week, the site entered what looked like a death spiral: hate speech spiked, celebs and advertisers fled, and users parodied public figures with the new verification system.

Elon Music surrounded by Twitter icons

But this is not how we want to remember Twitter. Sure, it's where we doomscrolled away countless hours of our lives, but it's also where we encountered so many funny jokes that actually did make us laugh out loud (we weren't lying in all those headlines).

So, in loving memory of Twitter (at least as it was), here is our definitive list of the 100 funniest tweets ever published.

a tombstone with a Twitter icon on it

1.

"at the gym i said subscription instead of membership and the girl replied with 'lol this isnt a pharmacy' bitch thats a prescription were both stupid"

2.

most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns

3.

"Why tattoos You wouldn't put stickers on a nice car" Ma'am I am at best a 2003 Corolla

4.

I'm sorry Ms Jackson (Oooooo) / I am four eels / Never meant to make your daughter cry / I am several fish and not a guy

5.

Me sowing: Haha fuck yeah! Yes! Me reaping: Well this fucking sucks what the fuck

6.

nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early; astronaut: moon's haunted; nasa employee: what? astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon's haunted

7.

Date: I love car chase action scenes Me, a fruit stand vendor: I think we're done here

8.

Therapist: What's wrong? Me: If I do the Borat voice once more, I'll be getting a divorce Therapist: And who told you that? Me: *tearfully clears throat*

9.

[concert] SINGER: hows everyone doin tonight CROWD: woo ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): it's actually been a tough few months

10.

tweet that the funniest thing the person ever said 'oh shit is your ride here' after a car horn honked and his cat jumped off his bed and ran downstairs

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Tbt to Halloween when I dressed as the babadook but my friend's house had more of a grown ups drinking wine vibe

Twitter: @katiedippold

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oh sorry i cant im busy that day

Twitter: @zhaovan8

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Bad news: I accidentally washed a nice wool shirt that I really loved and it shrunk a LOT Good news:

Twitter: @alextumay

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Twitter: @Rocioceja_

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when u hit shuffle and it picks the exact song u had in ur head>>

Twitter: @versosaxxl

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i can’t afford healthcare https://t.co/9GKbUoYgdv

Twitter: @jillboard

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Twitter: @paigealban23

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Me: *dies* People to my boyfriend: it's okay to get back out there, she'd want you to move on Me in heaven:

Twitter: @asialbx

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joseph when he found out there was no room at the inn

Twitter: @_s0dapup

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