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    20 Clean, Corny Jokes That You Can Tell To Anyone

    What kind of pants do ghosts wear? BOO jeans.

    Ever found yourself in a situation where you need a good, quick joke? Well, here are some of the best (and corniest) jokes that Reddit has to offer for just such occasions:

    1.

    The doctor's chart said my blood was type-A, but that was a type-O.

    via FuzzyJustin

    2.

    What do you do if you see a fireman?

    Put it out, man.

    via 7in7

    3.

    A man walks into a bar and there is a bunch of meat hanging from the ceiling. The man asks the bartender, "What's the deal with the meat?" The bartender explains that if you jump and slap a piece of meat, you get to drink free for the night, but if you miss, you must buy drinks for everyone in the bar. The man responds, "No thanks, the steaks are too high."

    via token_bastard

    HBO

    4.

    Why did the stoplight turn red? Because it was embarrassed to be changing in the middle of the street!

    via stuffandjunkandyeah

    5.

    I went to a wedding where two satellite dishes got married. The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was AMAZING.

    via Storm-Shadow

    6.

    Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke, joooooooooooooke.

    via chucklesnatas

    VH1

    7.

    Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them? So that when they return to port, then can Scandinavian.

    via artisanpartisan

    8.

    6:30 is hands down the best time of day.

    via jonpab2

    9.

    What kind of pants do ghosts wear? Boo jeans.

    And if those are dirty, they just wear a paranormal trousers.

    via HomieApathy

    IFC

    10.

    What do we want? Low-flying airplanes! When do we want them? NeeeeeOOOooowwwww!

    via MinnOwen

    11.

    Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at C.

    via SisypheanBalls

    12.

    Did you hear about the cheese factory in France that exploded? All that was left was de Brie.

    via PointsPrizes

    Universal

    13.

    A guy strikes up a conversation with a lumberjack that he meets in a bar.

    "How many trees do you think you've chopped down?" the guy asks.

    "Exactly 2,742," the lumberjack replies.

    "How do you know?"

    "Because every time I chop one down, I keep a log."

    via TF79870

    14.

    A slice of apple pie costs $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

    via porichoygupto

    15.

    Justice is a dish best served cold. Because if it was served warm, it would be justwater.

    via Spider_Dimwit

    TBS

    16.

    I met some chess players in a hotel lobby. They kept bragging about how good they were.

    It was chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

    via porichoygupto

    17.

    I was eating at a restaurant when the waiter came to my table and said, "I see your glass is empty, would you like another one?"

    I said, "Why would I want two empty glasses?"

    via madazzahatter

    18.

    I saved up money for months to buy a limited-edition thesaurus. But when I opened it, all the pages were blank!

    I have no words to describe how angry I am.

    via kiwibrandon

    BBC

    19.

    What did 0 say to 8? "Nice belt."

    via devnodegree

    20.

    Why do fish live in salt water? Because if they lived in pepper water, they would sneeze.

    via maxterchief99

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