Skip To Content
  • Viral badge

43 Dirty Jokes That Are So Filthy You'll Need A Shower

Muahahaha. WARNING: Very inappropriate (and hilarious) language ahead.

1. What's green and smells like pork?

2. What is 6.9?

3.

4. Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?

5.

onlytwitterpics/ Tumblr / Via onlytwitterpics.tumblr.com

6. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

7.

when a guy puts his hand down your pants and says "oh baby, you're already wet."

RayaCarmona/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @RayaVlogs

8. What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet?

9.

sex-memes/ Tumblr / Via sex-memes.tumblr.com

10. What do you call a virgin on a water bed?

11.

That means you’re only getting about 34 seconds so you better enjoy it to the fullest https://t.co/cKHVtw6aB2

Twitter: @OGCORLIN

12. What do you call two lesbians in a closet?

13.

I'll just assume neither of you have any bread? Okay cool

Datoism/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @Datoism

14.

15.

reading sexts you sent when ur not horny anymore and u can't believe those things went thru ur head

bryanlicious2/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @bryanlicious2

16. What’s the difference between being hungry and being horny?

17.

18. What do a Rubik's Cube and a penis have in common?

19.

When she asks if you pulled out and you say yea

mojogodo/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @GPL_

20.

Cashier: Wow haha, big plans tonight? Lady: Go fuck yourself carol and do your damn job

DaRealKingCoopa/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @DaRealKingCoopa

21.

onlytwitterpics/ Tumblr / Via onlytwitterpics.tumblr.com

22. What do going down on an old woman and a pork pie have in common?

23. What is long, hard, and full of seamen?

24.

25.

jinchuuriking/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @Jinchuuriking

26. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

27.

officialfrenchtoast/ Tumblr / Via officialfrenchtoast.tumblr.com

28.

When he putting the condom on and you just waiting there like 😂

RealAaron/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @ReaIAaron

29.

QueerXiChisme/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @QueerXiChisme

30.

31.

Teh Eldar Screllz V/ Facebook / Via Facebook: 1433061873583423

32. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a can?

33.

*has sex with you* *declines your FB friend request*

DaddyJew/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @DaddyJew

34.

Unofficial: Overly Attached Girlfriend/ Facebook / Via Facebook: 388436784526176

35.

When you ask me if you can send me a dick pic.

hoebymistake/ Instagram / Via Twitter: @hoebymistake

36. Why doesn’t Santa Claus have any children?

37.

when he says he's got the girth & he do

1followernodad/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @1followernodad

38. What are the three shortest words in the English language?

39.

*during sex* just close your eyes and imagine the way I look on Instagram

msdanifernandez/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @msdanifernandez

40. What do you call a cheap circumcision?

41.

1st time trying anal vs. 4th time trying anal

DontstressBS/ Twitter / Via Twitter: @DontstressBS

42.

Humorous-wifi/ Tumblr / Via humorous-wifi.tumblr.com

43. How do you get Bob from Robert? How do you get Bill from William? How do you get Dick from Richard?

Which joke made you LOL the hardest? Feel free to share in the comments below!

Some of these entires were submitted by BuzzFeed Community members. 

This article contains content from Kayla Yandoli, Cassie Smyth, Crystal Ro, Pablo Valdivia, and Gena-mour Barrett. It was compiled by Salimah McCullough.