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17 Dirty Jokes That Are So Filthy You'll Need A Shower

Muahahaha. WARNING: Very inappropriate (and hilarious) language ahead.

We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the dirtiest joke they've ever heard. Here are the beautiful results.

1. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

Walt Disney Pictures

Submitted by emilyh44b54a908.

2. What's green and smells like pork?

CBC Television / Via

Submitted by Jami Merali (Facebook).

3. What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet?

Wikimedia: Lusheeta / Creative Commons CC BY-SA http://3.0 / Via

Submitted by Tim Covais (Facebook).

4. What’s the difference between being hungry and being horny?

Wikimedia: Gruepig / / Via

Submitted by kelseyleew.

5. What are the three shortest words in the English language?

Wikimedia: Johannes Jansson / Creative Commons CC-BY-2.5-dk / Via

Submitted by CC07.

6. What do you call a virgin on a water bed?

Thinkstock / Jennifer Borton

Submitted by catesish.

7. What do a Rubik's Cube and a penis have in common?

Wikimedia: Axdx / Creative Commons http://CC-BY-SA-3.0 / Via

Submitted by tazer413.

8. What is long, hard, and full of seamen?

United Artists / Via

Submitted by cocotadrum.

9. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a can?

Thinkstock / Siraphol

Submitted by Reuben Glaser (Facebook).

10. Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?

Walt Disney Pictures / Pixar / Via

Submitted by Joshua Burns (Facebook).

11. What do you call two lesbians in a closet?

Thinkstock / zhudifeng

Submitted by Rachel Drum (Facebook).

12. What do going down on an old woman and a pork pie have in common?

Wikimedia: Evan Izer / Creative Commons http://CC-BY-SA-3.0, GFDL / Via

Submitted by Kerry King-Neale (Facebook).

13. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

Wikimedia: Dmgerman / Creative Commons CC BY http://3.0 / Via

Submitted by liamp4f6ed8858.

14. What do you call a cheap circumcision?

Thinkstock / PixelEmbarg

Submitted by Katie Turner (Facebook).

15. Why doesn’t Santa Claus have any children?

Wikimedia: RanjithSiji / Creative Commons CC BY-SA http://3.0 / Via

Submitted by karley-annem.

16. How do you get Bob from Robert? How do you get Bill from William? How do you get Dick from Richard?

Wikimedia: Jack Kightlinger / Creative Commons CC-PD-Mark / Via

Submitted by RosePetal601.

17. What is 6.9?

Thinkstock / sasimoto

Submitted by anonymous.

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