1. Absolutely EVERYONE slayed on the red carpet:
2. Jennifer Lopez showed up dressed like a literal present — which is fitting — since she's a gift to us all:
3. Kerry Washington, Jennifer Aniston, and Ryan Seacrest had an incredibly awkward interaction during the interview portion of the red carpet:
4. Bill Hader And Rachel Bilson made their red carpet debut as a couple, and the internet imploded with joy:
5. And, speaking of cute couples, Joaquin Phoenix was caught admiring his fiancé, Rooney Mara, while she was taking photos, and it was almost too precious to handle:
6. Ricky Gervais roasted the absolute heck out of Hollywood as a whole in his memorable opening monologue:
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7. And thanks to the savage nature of Gervais' speech, we were blessed with a brand new meme face, courtesy of one Mr. Tom Hanks:
8. Jason Momoa gave his jacket to his chilly wife, Lisa Bonet — because he's a gentleman — and we were all blessed with a view of his incredible arms:
Jason Momoa gave his jacket to his wife, Lisa Bonet, like the classy mother fucker he is. #GoldenGIobes
His! Arms! Make! Me! Feel! Safe!
9. Fleabag won for both Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series, Musical or Comedy, and Best Television Series, Musical or Comedy, and Phoebe Waller-Bridge thanked Barack Obama in an absolutely hilarious reference to the show:
10. Elton John about lost his darn mind with excitement when Taron Egerton won for Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy for Rocketman:
11. Beyoncé made a surprise appearance and was dressed like an actual Golden Globe:
12. Awkwafina made history as the first Asian American woman to win Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture Musical or Comedy, for her role in The Farewell:
13. Hildur Guđnadóttir also made history as the first woman to win for Best Original Score, Motion Picture for her haunting composing of the Joker soundtrack:
14. And — while we're talking about Joker — Joaquin Phoenix won Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama, and took to the stage, giving a passionate — albeit heavily censored — speech that 100% sounded like me three drinks in at any given party:
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15. Tom Hanks was honored with the Cecil B. DeMille award and made absolutely EVERYONE cry with his touching speech:
16. Michelle Williams won for Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television for her role in Fosse/Verdon, and gave an incredible speech about women's rights:
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17. Olivia Colman won Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series, Drama for her role in The Crown, and her (admittedly) tipsy speech was literally all of us:
18. Brad Pitt won for Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in Any Motion Picture for his role in Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood, and thanked Leonardo DiCaprio by making a joke about Titanic:
19. Pitt then followed up by joking about his dating life, and the camera people couldn't cut to Jennifer Aniston fast enough:
"I wanted to bring my mom, but I couldn't, because anyone I stand next to they say I'm dating. It'd just be awkward..." - Brad Pitt #GoldenGlobes
20. Bong Joon-ho won for Best Motion Picture, Foreign Language for Parasite and used his speech to thoroughly roast people's strange — and, frankly, lazy — aversions to reading subtitles:
Bong Joon Ho basically said READ FUCKING SUBTITLES