No eres un adulto exitoso.
You are not a successful adult.
Ne pas avoir à se raser, c'est vraiment chouette.
Du wartest 4 Tage, bis Du Dir ein Kissen in Form eines Körpers kaufst.
You're not a regular teacher. You're a cool teacher.
Pasarán 4 días antes de que compres una almohada de cuerpo.
You make it 4 days before buying a body pillow.
You've lost a considerable amount of sleep over the Nisha call.
April showers bring.... you no joy whatsoever.
Taylor Swift has given us some very unreasonable expectations.
This goes out to anyone whose hair color has ever been described as "dishwater."
You cannot be smoted. You are unsmoteable.
Sometimes being inside your own head is so exhausting that it makes you want to cry.
If you had to be one person from the cast of Girls, you know it'd be Shoshanna.
Somehow catcalls are less appealing in your native tongue.
Or at least you think you are. It's really all up in the air right now.
Maybe this year you can hold out 'til February?
Either your professor sits on a throne of lies, or you're a cotton-headed ninny-muggins. Or both.
May the odds be ever in your favor!
Because you never tried to make "fetch" happen.