April showers bring…. you no joy whatsoever.
Taylor Swift has given us some very unreasonable expectations.
This goes out to anyone whose hair color has ever been described as “dishwater.”
You cannot be smoted. You are unsmoteable.
Sometimes being inside your own head is so exhausting that it makes you want to cry.
If you had to be one person from the cast of Girls, you know it’d be Shoshanna.
Somehow catcalls are less appealing in your native tongue.
Or at least you think you are. It’s really all up in the air right now.
Maybe this year you can hold out ‘til February?
Either your professor sits on a throne of lies, or you’re a cotton-headed ninny-muggins. Or both.
May the odds be ever in your favor!
Because you never tried to make “fetch” happen.
It’s all fun and games until your 8:00 a.m. class the next morning.
It’s August already?! And you had such high aspirations…
Scars are just souvenirs you never lose, “tattoos with better stories.”
Sure, you’ve drunk wine from a box, but have you drunk wine from a bra? Wait, don’t answer that.
You’re fabulous, but you’re evil.
So you’ve actually never been to a real school before?
By the time your appetizers come, your heart is sinking faster than the RMS Titanic.
You are such a good friend.