Because chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool never gets old.
~Moves back to hometown and avoids campus life forever~
Retail workers do NOT have it easy. So much vomit and poop!
There’s not enough babysitting money to heal these scars.
“He went in for a kiss, and when I politely declined, he pushed me into the duck pond.”
“Seth MacFarlane and I were having sex and he kept doing the Peter Griffin laugh.”
Never going shopping again.
“I was ‘tossing his salad’ when I noticed blood everywhere. Turns out my nose started bleeding.”
Time flies when you’re having fun at Dunder Mifflin.
Please don’t set me up with someone.
Happy birthday to Anna Kendrick, who turns 30 this weekend!
“Yes of course I got your text - I’m just ignoring it. Don’t make it weird.”
Do you have a better memory than Dory?
Running through the sheets with celebs.
You’ll never look at a cowboy hat the same way again.
Hakuna Matata, what a wonderful phrase.