Honestly, I need to take a deep breath as I explain to you what you clicked into and are about to read.
Basically, we've asked women of the BuzzFeed Community to share their 'I'm the client, not my husband, stop ignoring me' stories, and we've gotten responses from more than 1,000 women(!!!).
1. "I called a maintenance guy to check out a noise I knew my water heater shouldn't be making. He showed up after three hours and several calls, tightened a few screws, and said I'd been hearing things. I told him to check again. Water heaters DO NOT squeal loudly at random intervals for no reason. Also, I had no hot water. He still shrugged me off and asked to speak to my husband or he was leaving. I said fine, but don't get pissy when I call you with a foot of water downstairs at 3 a.m. Sure enough, the water heater started wailing around 2 a.m. and, when I went downstairs, the lower level was under water."
"The maintenance guy was actually super pissed about being woken up in the middle of the night, but I don't give a fuck." —pinkjadeybug
2. "I bought my house when I was 32. At the signing, I began to read through the paperwork. The male seller's male lawyer said, 'You don't need to read all that,' as they both laughed. I looked the lawyer dead in the eye and said, 'Are you going to be paying my mortgage for the next 30 years?' He said, 'Of course not.' I said, 'Then shut up until I'm done reading.' Shocked expressions."
"The male seller was inept and cheap. He painted over all the outlet and switch covers instead of removing them. Rather than buy the correct parts, he used an old metal vacuum wand as a pipe under my kitchen sink. He not only used nails (instead of screws) to repair the deck, he failed to use galvanized nails, so there are rust spots around each one.
Plus, the male lawyer failed to do a proper title search. I ended up filing a title insurance claim and got a sweet $12,000 back for half an acre that was listed on my deed but had been sold separately.
Who's the bitch now?" —nikkisevven
3. "When I had my IUD put in by a male doctor, I was in horrible pain for two days after. I called and told him I felt like I was being stabbed from the inside. I was told to come in right away. Right before I left, I went to the bathroom and out of me fell a piece of metal. I told the OB-GYN that he had left metal inside of me, and he shrugged and said, 'It’s dark in there.'"
"I also had a Bartholin cyst for probably six years. I saw mostly male OB-GYNs. Despite the fact that it was uncomfortable, at best, they’d tell me it was harmless and to just leave it alone.
I finally got a female OB-GYN who took one look and said, 'No one would ever tell a man to just live with a cyst on his penis.' Five seconds later, she had taken care of it, and it was never a problem again." —natalieaseils
4. "A person once refused to sell me a black coffee because it was too strong and 'not for women,' so my now-ex bought it instead. I drank it in front of them and went, 'Tastes like boiling water. You forgot to put the espresso shots in.'"
"Don't dare me. I've been drinking black coffee since I was a kid." —cfaa_flor
5. "I was interviewing a male candidate. I had a male member of my team with me for the interview since he's who the new person would be working directly with, and I wanted him to have some input into the hiring. We introduced ourselves clearly and explained our roles. The candidate didn’t look at me at all when answering questions — even those I asked directly. In the end, I asked if he had any questions for us. He then asked my male colleague about next steps and timeframe for hiring."
"My colleague responded, 'I don't know. Ask her, she’s the one hiring.' You could read, 'I’m not getting this job' across his face, and he was right! He did not get the job." —lauraa44514358a
6. "When I was a student manager at my university help desk, I had a customer try to talk down to me about the tech stuff he needed help with. He came over saying they needed something in the conference room they were working in. I nodded. Apparently, I didn't respond fast enough because he then slowed down his speech — just enough that I noticed — and started to dumb it down, explaining to me exactly what he needed. I cut him off and very bluntly said, 'I know what you're talking about. I'm just trying to think of who can help you since our IT person isn't here.' I could tell I embarrassed him, and he was very nice to me after that."
"When I told my dad about it after the fact — since he taught me most of what I know about computers — he laughed SO hard because even he knew the guy messed up by trying to talk to me like that." —mo2758
7. "I went to a rheumatologist once. My PCP had me on methotrexate for an autoimmune condition, and the rheumatologist said I shouldn’t be taking it because if I got pregnant, it would be very toxic to the fetus. I told him I knew but was in a long-term, monogamous relationship with my boyfriend — who had had a vasectomy after I had an ectopic pregnancy while on birth control. He asked if I was married. I said no, and he said, 'Well if you’re not married, you might find another boyfriend and get pregnant.' Like...there’s so much wrong with that. He refused to write me a script for methotrexate and put me on Plaquenil. As it turns out, I’m extremely allergic to Plaquenil."
"Plenty of marriages end in divorce, and plenty of married people cheat anyway. A marriage certificate shouldn’t be necessary to legitimize your relationship.
At the time, I was having no issues with the methotrexate, and it worked well. After two pills of Plaquenil, I made the connection. I had a full-body rash and was so itchy I could hardly stand it. I learned that the medication has an extremely long half-life, like 45 days, and for two months, I had to take Benadryl or hydroxyzine like candy and could barely function.
It’s not the rheumatologist's fault that I had a very rare allergic reaction, but he wouldn’t give me the medication I was happy with and knew worked because I wasn’t married and assumed I would be going through boyfriends like crazy or something. I could’ve avoided the misery of having hives for two months if the rheumatologist (who I never went back to) wasn’t such a misogynist." —heatherbeshe
8. "My husband and I are both active duty in the military. Our 11-year-old son has epilepsy, and we have to keep his medical records up to date. I brought him for a regular physical, and his doctor says, 'His epilepsy paperwork expires in a few months. Make sure that gets updated or else Dad can’t change duty stations.' I said, 'Or I can’t leave either. I’ll set up another appointment to fix it.' I was in uniform."
9. "I was sitting in a furniture store right now and texted my best friend to get her opinion on a piece I was looking at. The salesman goes, 'You texting him see if he’ll let you buy it?'"
10. "My mom tried to change something on her wireless plan, which was in her name. They wouldn't do it without her husband's approval. She had to get my teenage brother on the phone to pretend to be her husband."
"Life is ridiculous being a woman." —j45653cf3d
11. "I was in the military and got injured in Afghanistan. I ended up getting a Purple Heart. When I was medically discharged, I got a Purple Heart license plate on my pickup. One day, in a mall parking lot, I was getting out of my truck and an older couple passed by. The man said, 'Thank your husband for his service.' I said, 'Excuse me?' He said, 'The Purple Heart plate — we thank your husband for his service.' I said, 'Well, one, I'm not married and never have been. Two, that's my Purple Heart.' His wife turned bright red, and he got all flustered and said, 'I didn't know females could get Purple Hearts.'
"I was so pissed. But it's happened a bunch of times. And the pickup is a whole other issue." —heatherfr
12. "I needed to take a small loan out of MY retirement account and they said your husband has to sign off on this. I ended up apologizing to the representative on the phone because I went insane after I asked if I was a male would my wife have to sign and they straight up said no.
"They were a 'Christian'-run company so the man had to approve it. I was so angry and annoyed." —ashlynwhitespeare92
13. "I called an insurance agent to set up policies for my and my husband's two vehicles. I explained very clearly that I own and drive the truck, while my husband owns and drives the SUV. When the agent emailed me the policy, the truck was in my husband's name, and I was listed on the SUV. I called him to fix it, and he questioned me several times as if he didn’t believe me."
"Then he said that it’s not a big deal and that he wouldn’t change it because it didn’t matter if we were listed on the opposite vehicles." —daisylita
14. "I had been in the hospital with septic. On a scale of 1–10, my pain level was 8–10, and the doctor wouldn't do a thing for it. The doctor decided to turn to my husband and say, 'Would YOU be in this much pain?'"
"My husband rarely gets mad, but he lost it." —insertwithere
15. "I had a stalker for well over a year. I called the police multiple times, but they would not open a case or even formally take down my information until MY DAD called on my behalf because he was absolutely livid. They called me immediately after speaking with him."
"I was a grown adult, not living at home. Then they did...nothing. But that's another issue." —mkatherinekelly
16. "I went to the mechanic because something was wrong with my car. They said they would look into it. Later, they told me that my car needed new brakes — which it definitely did not. I told them that was bullshit, and to not scam me for money because I'm a girl and 'dont know better.' We took it to a friend of my dad's, who's a mechanic. Turns out, I didn't need new brakes. Not even close."
"My father had recently been teaching me how to fix my own car, or at least identify what was wrong, just because of this kind of thing." —madhatter536
17. "In seventh grade, I had surgery on my toe. I had a note to excuse me from P.E. but that didn’t matter to the male teacher — who had a history of sexist behavior. He insisted I play kickball. I was a very shy, quiet kid who always did what my teachers said, but I knew I couldn’t play kickball. He wouldn’t listen to any of my reasoning and disregarded the note. Finally, one of the boys in my class said that I really did just have surgery, and the teacher immediately believed him and said I could sit out. The boy didn’t even know if I had surgery."
"He just knew I wasn’t a liar and that this teacher was an ass." —misssmm
18. "Anytime I go to get my oil changed in my car, I specifically say, 'I only want an oil change, nothing else,' and they say okay. An oil change is roughly $35. Yet every time I go to pay and get my keys back, they say that they had to do all this extra work on it (not needed) and try to charge me over $150. When I say that I asked for oil and nothing else and didn't approve any additional work, they refuse to give me my keys or car because I’m 'hysterical' and won’t pay for their hard work."
"Needless to say, I have my husband take my car in from now on. When I told him they try that on me all the time, he was confused and said that they’ve never tried that with him, even if it’s my car that he takes in. They only charge him for the oil change." —223smitchell
19. "I once had a salesman say to me, 'Let me educate you,' regarding credit pulls. I have been in finance for nearly two decades."
"My 14-year-old boy just sunk into the couch and said, 'Oh no... you should probably leave now.'" —dsegraves78
20. "I was once hired by a client of mine as a lead generator at a big international trade show. At some point, a man walked into our booth, so I approached him to introduce myself. He didn’t even look me in the eyes as he said, 'No thanks, I don’t want coffee.'"
"My client specifically told me upfront that I was 'not allowed' to make coffee for their visitors. The marketing manager – who booked me — was the one who did this, and she wanted me to fully focus on what I was hired to do and what I was good at.
I stayed polite, for the sake of my client. Afterward, when I told the marketing manager what happened, she told me I was actually 100% allowed to be less polite in a situation like that. She’s great!" —quidnunq
21. "I have endometriosis and other chronic issues, so I needed a partial hysterectomy. They told me that I couldn't have one because my husband might want to get me pregnant. They'd rather me suffer and possibly die than to not have children."
"I don't even want children." —zombiedolllizkah
22. "People often feel it necessary to comment on the quality of my engagement ring by saying things like, 'You must be a real catch,' or asking what my fiancé does for a living. First of all, it's none of your business. Second of all, it was my mom's ring. When she passed, my dad gave it to me."
23. "Two years ago, I booked a flight for myself and my boyfriend. I used my credit card, my email address, and put my name first. When they sent the confirmation, the email was addressed in his name, and they'd moved him to passenger one."
24. "I hold a trade card at a well-known auto parts chain. Every damn time I present it, I get questioned about it — why I have it and who it actually belongs to. One time, I gave it to my husband and asked him to pay. No questions asked. At all."
"Heaven forbid a woman should work on cars and deserve a trade discount." —emilyb4e5865956
25. "I bought a house a few years ago that my boyfriend (now husband) moved into. He wasn’t on the title at all, but because it was a community, it's required that I list whoever lives in the house. Our mortgage has always come in his name — because he’s the male on the list of people living in the house — even though the house is entirely in my name."
26. "I had just bought my first flat, and the removal company had come to my old place to give me an estimate. They spoke almost exclusively to my male friend, who didn't live with me, wasn't moving anywhere, and definitely wasn't paying them. He just happened to be in the house with me when they arrived."
"He literally had to leave before they would focus on me and answer my questions." —kkat22
27. "My boyfriend and I moved into a house together several years ago. After about a month, we noticed the carpet in the den, which shared a wall with the bathroom, was wet. Our landlord sent out a maintenance guy. By looking at which wall the bathroom and den shared and when the wet spot appeared or got worse, it was pretty obvious to me something was wrong with the tub drain. I said this to the maintenance guy. He proceeded to replace the bath and shower faucets and the hot/cold handles, completely ignoring me. After several months, wherein I mentioned the drain multiple times, I finally lost it. I didn't scream, but I very sternly asked, 'Why won't you take my suggestion? Is it because I'm a girl?'"
"After that, he checked the drain. The problem was fixed the next day." —toast2002
28. "I work in construction as an engineer. That means when I am on a job site, I’m typically the one who knows what needs to get done and how it’s getting done. Usually, everyone else on the job is a guy, so anyone coming onto the site always tries to talk to them — despite the guys saying to talk to me."
"It's always super frustrating when they refuse — to the point where it’s easier to just let them talk to one of the guys, who then has to get all the information from me before relaying it. Thankfully, my company is super supportive and has actually stopped using those companies." —maxg400c52358
29. "When I was in sixth grade, we did a pacer test in gym class. I was the fastest girl and kid in my grade, so I got 64 — beating all of the boys. One of the boys got 57, and the male gym teacher said, 'Nice job but you can do better.' He then turned to me and asked if my brother taught me to run. I had a friend who also got 57, but the teacher said she got 54 so she wouldn't tie with a boy. When she told him she thought she got 57, he said, 'Don't worry, you still ran pretty fast for a girl.'"
"Apparently, he 'forgot.' We all saw her get 57." —inxs_stripe
30. "I went through 12 doctors last year, and every single one of them told me 'I was just stressed' and 'I need to calm down' because I'm a woman with anxiety in her chart. When I told them about severe dizzy spells, they said, 'Eat more salt.' I ended up having a pseudo brain tumor and severe autoimmune response from the IUD they forced me to get."
"THEN they refused to take the IUD out until I lied and told them I was ready to try for kids." —meagaladon