Some people love to think that, as a society, we've gotten past sexism. And by some people, I mean those who don't face small (and large!) doses of it day to day.
So we recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to share their "I'm the client, not my husband, stop ignoring me" stories (inspired by Redditor u/teacherspet5859438e), and a ton of you wrote in.
Here are 28 of the most aggravating responses:
1. "I took my husband with me to look for a new car. The salesman spoke to him the whole time — apart from when he looked at me, opened the glove compartment, and said, 'It's got a nice little lipstick holder!'"
"We bought an identical car from a different place." —alice1984
2. "I was dating someone for less than a year when I had to get an emergency hysterectomy. They asked him if he was okay with it."
"Like, they needed his permission first." —Cecile, Facebook
3. "I partnered with a man once in my printing business. We had the same skills and experience for the job. But whenever people would come to the shop, they'd immediately ask to see my boss. They wouldn't even let me quote them for services. They'd sit and wait for my 'boss' or even call him."
"When they'd call my partner, he'd just say, 'Talk to her, she knows all the prices and how to work the printers better than I do.' And a lot of the times, when men would learn they'd have to work with an 18-year-old female, they'd walk away.
The guy I worked with even once almost got into a fist fight with some guys who were super disrespectful towards me." —opahmarere
4. "My daughter was born with a birth defect, so my husband and I had met with a genetic counselor to discuss it. She was asking us basic background questions and first asked my husband, 'When did you graduate from college?' Then she turned to me and asked, 'And you? Do you have a GED?' At the time, I was one year away from completing my Master's Degree."
"Nothing wrong with GEDs or community college, but I was so annoyed that she asked it like that. My husband had attended a community college for a short time, but she didn't know that. I don't know if it was a sexist thing or what. We were both in our late twenties, so it's not like I was a lot younger or anything." —rooster05
5. "Despite earning more than my husband, my accountant puts my husband as the primary taxpayer and me as the spouse. I called him out on it last year."
"It is an issue with the tax forms. There shouldn't be a 'primary taxpayer' in a married couple. Both are taxpayers, especially if both earn income." —adenasf
6. "After the birth of my first child, I sat down with my midwife to come up with the best birth control solution for me as I was no longer interested in the pill. However, I had to go to my primary doctor to get the IUD. Not only did he ignore why I picked it, but he also tried to write me a prescription for the pill. His main selling point was, 'You have acne, and it will help.' When I finally thought I'd convinced him to order my IUD, I got a call from the nurse 30 minutes later saying my pills were at the pharmacy."
"Um, no! I demanded the IUD I wanted and scheduled the implant date. When I showed up to that appointment, it wasn't actually to put it in but to have one more talk with me to make sure I really didn't want the pill. Only then could I schedule the procedure. 😡 Some men have no business treating women." —Heather, Facebook
7. "I took my car in for an oil change and tire rotation at a Sears. The mechanic told me one of my tires had stripped bolts. He said, 'Don’t let your brother or boyfriend work on this car anymore. They’ve stripped the bolts.' I was going to let it slide, but he said it again before I left, 'Remember, don’t like your brother or boyfriend mess with the car. I don’t want you to have to pay for their mistakes.' I finally snapped back, 'The only two places that have worked on my car are you and the dealership, so I’m betting you stripped the bolts. It’s great that you assume I have a brother or boyfriend working on my car when I could just as easily be doing it myself.'"
"I’d already been teaching myself to do light maintenance on my car at that point. But that was when I started working hardcore — doing everything possible with my car myself — just so I can rub it in mens’ faces when they assume I can’t work on a car." —nikola2393
8. "I'm in the military. When my (now ex) husband and I went to Jamaica, the porter was walking us to our room with our luggage. My rank and last name are on our luggage tags, so the porter asked my spouse how long he had been in the military. 'Not me, her,' hubby replied. The guy burst out laughing. He was still smiling as he explained that it was just because I look 'like a Barbie Doll.'"
"Oh. Thanks. That’s better." —donnavanleusdenr
9. "When I was in the hospital, the psychiatrist asked to speak to my father on the phone about whether or not he was comfortable with me being discharged — despite me saying I was 24 and didn’t live with my dad. He also hadn’t asked me how I felt about being discharged."
"He just asked to speak to my dad." —Sophie, Facebook
10. "I went to buy a laptop, and my dad came with me to go to a bookstore and Starbucks afterward. I'd done the research on what I wanted and tried to take charge. The salesperson kept making condescending comments to sway me into buying a different one. He'd look at my dad like, 'Am I right?' I said I was sure I wanted this one in white. He said, 'Well, we don’t have that one. Besides, I really think you should get this one instead,' and then, and I quote, scoffed, 'I’m sure you can paint it with some of your little nail polishes when you get home.' I said never mind, and we walked out."
"Also, I wasn’t wearing any nail polish. But all women do, I guess. *Eye roll.*" —kyrumption
11. "Occasionally, when my husband and I go out to eat, I'll order steak and he’ll go for the fish. The server (who took our order) nearly always gives the steak to him. I've even had a server move the steak knife from my side of the table to his, then put the fish knife next to me."
"Then they'll apologize for the mix-up with the utensils. It makes me wanna punch them." —orela82
12. "I took a loan out of my retirement through my work. I had to have my husband sign off on the loan saying he was 'ok' with it. His name isn't even listed on the account, he's a beneficiary. Now, when he took out a loan on his, I didn't have to sign anything."
"I'm not sure if it is sexist or just the way my account is set up through my company. My husband has the same benefits company as me but works for a different company. It still irked the crap out of me." —michelle8912
13. "I'm a chef. When the food delivery guys need to speak to a chef, they'll pass me to find a man. Sometimes, they'll even ask me to get one of the chefs. One time, when I was the only chef in, wearing my chef whites, the delivery guy spoke to a male restaurant cleaner, who was wearing a t-shirt and jeans."
"The one female delivery driver that we occasionally have has never done this though. It’s even worse because I’m the one chef who is ALWAYS in for the deliveries since I work set hours (9-5) on weekdays to fit around childcare.
The male chefs are shift workers, so the delivery drivers should be used to seeing me more than any other chef as they deliver weekday mornings!" —frand4e18730ec
14. "I had just bought my first place for my son and myself. I’m a single mom. I was having a satellite dish installed, and the installer had the nerve to ask me what my husband did for a living. I looked at him dead in the eye told him I wasn’t married."
"He says, 'Oh, then your boyfriend.' Again, I looked him dead in the eyeballs and said, 'l bought this place myself, now do your job and put up my satellite dish.'" —marissamorey
15. "The gynecologist wouldn't take my pain seriously when I couldn't walk unassisted — until MY HUSBAND said we couldn't have sex."
"Instant change of tone." —Kristen, Facebook
16. "I worked at a museum that had a WWII ship as part of an exhibit. I was training a new male employee one day. An older male visitor walked on board, looked at me, looked at the new guy, looked at me, and asked the new guy a very basic question. To his credit, the new guy said, 'I really don’t know but she knows absolutely EVERYTHING.' I answered his question, and the older man just mumbled and walked away."
"The number of times I've been told, 'You may need to consult the manual to answer this,' was infuriating." —jessicap42c47c0ce
17. "My fiancé and I went to the Algarve for vacation, and I noticed that at restaurants, our hotel, etc., people almost always spoke to him rather than to me. I speak fluent Portuguese; he doesn't know it at all."
"Everyone was lovely, and I'm sure didn't realize they were doing it, but I could tell people were surprised when I was the one to speak up." —laguiri
18. "I have a chronic disease, and male doctors will explain it to me even though I deal with it every day. My dad or my fiancé have to come with me for them to take me seriously."
"One time, they tried to send me home with Tylenol after a major surgery until my dad threatened their license." —zombiedolllizkah
19. "I walked into an auto parts store, told them exactly what part I needed, and gave them the make and model of my car. They still acted like I had no idea what I was talking about."
"I have never shopped at any of those stores again." —ksquirkyteacher
20. "I had a repairman come into my apartment for some minor repairs. The guy fiddled around a bit and eventually asked me for a butter knife. I gave him one. He used it to unscrew a screw. I asked him if a flathead screwdriver wouldn't have been better."
"He asked me, 'You have a flat head screwdriver?' I pulled out my fully stocked toolbox, clearly better prepared than he was." —buttercup1085
21. "I’m a former bartender who loves bourbon and whiskey. My dear husband prefers piña coladas. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve gone to nice bars where they serve him the whiskey and try to bring me white wine flights."
"When a bartender actually listens, we usually tip very well. Why is it so hard to open your eyes and ears?" —tepettit
22. "I was looking at pickups, and the sales guy asked if he could help me. I asked why a certain truck was so cheap — like what was wrong with it. He just read the tag, then asked what I did to afford the pickup. I told him I was a locomotive engineer, and he looked me up and down, then asked what I did to get *that* job, with his voice dripping in skepticism."
"I left. F that guy." —kyliep450233bd1
23. "The boiler pressure kept dropping at my house. I'd had a plumber out at least 20 times, and he finally told me to contact the manufacturer. I called, and the man on the phone immediately said, 'You need the plumber to contact us.' I told him no, he'll be dealing with me. 'What about your landlord?' I literally said, 'You're not giving me a chance to explain the problem. You're just assuming I don't know what I'm talking about.' He responded, 'I need to talk technical speak, and you wouldn't understand.'"
"So I spoke over him and explained everything — right down to the pressure I set it at and how long it takes the pressure to drop. I even told him the part of my boiler that may need replacing. Eventually, he said, 'Yeah, that does sound like a problem.'
What should have been a five-minute phone call — and would've been had it been a man who made the call — took 45 minutes." —dragonbunny
24. "My husband has to 'be with me' at the Sprint store for not only upgrades but even if I'm having issues with my phone or service! I know all the passwords and security answers. It’s even 'noted' in the account, but he still has to be present in the store."
"I feel like I’m a 1940s housewife." —angela2lock
25. "I had a summer job, and I worked there for about a month when they hired another employee (a guy) to do the heavy lifting and work with machinery — all the 'stuff women are too fragile to do.'"
"The other guy and I were the same age and everything. I would’ve happily done it if they’d asked." —marinemusic
26. "My husband and I are renovating our house. We went over everything we wanted, and I set everything up. One company came out for a quote, so I met with the guy and explained everything. He came back out to go over the laughable quote — he literally just wrote a number down on a piece of paper, without anything else written — and said, 'I’ll just give you a quick rundown, and I can come back when your husband is available. We’ll go over everything then.'"
"Needless to say, he did not get the job from us." —rnkovach
27. "I was working as an RN, and I once had a shoulder broken into six pieces at work. I was explaining to the doctor that the bones in the humeral fracture were still grinding, and we needed to redo the x-rays. In front of my 16-year-old son, who had driven me there, the doctor replied, "RNs are the biggest pains in the asses — especially women, because they are so histrionic.'"
"My son immediately responded, before I could, 'Don’t you dare talk to any woman like that, especially my mother. She saves patients AND doctors' asses for a living."
This doctor was dumbfounded that a 16-year-old boy spoke to him like that. I looked at the doctor and said, 'It’s sad that a teenage boy is more evolved than you are.'" —Nicko, Facebook
28. "I was helping a customer who needed to connect his receiver to his TV, so I told him he needed an HDMI cord. I told him multiple times, and he wouldn’t believe me. I eventually called a male coworker and told him the guy needed an HDMI cord."
"So my coworker told the guy – just like I had told him — that he needed an HDMI cord. And the guy brought the cord. My coworker asked what the issue with the sale was, and I responded with, 'I have a vagina, not a penis.'" —taraisshort
Is your blood pressure through the roof now? Mine most certainly is. If you've got a similar experience, share it with us below!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.