28. Cam Newton
Starring in Superman: The Quest For TDs. (Yeah, that’s a Superman IV joke.)
26. James Laurinaitis
Only when you sack Superman (a.k.a. Cam Newton) can you mock his signature move.
23. Knowshon Moreno
I don’t know, but I’ve been told / A first down for Moreno.
19. Nickell Robey
Heads-up football, though not as Roger Goodell intended.
18. J.J. Watt
Would Dikembe Mutombo have made a good lineman?
16. Calvin Johnson
To see this in motion would’ve probably melted your brain. Best to keep it to still photography.
15. Philip Rivers
Like, who is he even talking to?
12. Matthew Stafford
It just gets weirder (and better) the more you watch.
11. Lance Moore
He could’ve done this for hours had no one intervened.
10. Muhammad Wilkerson
Someone’s thinking of Hawaii and the Pro Bowl.
9. Steve Smith
STEVE SMITH EATS OPPOSING CORNERBACKS FOR BREAKFAST*.
- possibly lunch — could be a soup/half-sandwich combo.
6. Philip Rivers
The best part is when he gets to the sideline and has absolutely no idea what to do next. It’s mad and glorious.
5. Andre Brown & Brandon Jacobs
When an immovable object meets a misguided celebratory force.
4. Brandon Mebane
DO NOT STARE INTO THE NAVEL-Y ABYSS. MOVING ALONG NOW.
3. Joseph Fauria
Night fever, night fever / Fauria know how to do it!
2. Ricky Jean-Francois
This would be No. 1, except that the Colts were down 21 points when Jean-Francois practically acted out a seizure to celebrate this sack. Still, points for pure, flailing-limbed poetry.