1. Watch Your Money, Matthew Stafford Will Bluff
A comeback for the ages, topped off by this heads-up play by Stafford.
2. Inside Voices, Please
You think Jason Witten and Dez Bruant were discussing last night’s World Series controversy? Yep, me neither.
3. White Men Can Jump?
Whatever this is, Stafford earned it after that final drive against Dallas.
4. The Jim Schwartz Leap Of Victory Rules Over All
The throwing of the headset really ties the whole thing together.
5. Nightmare Fuel Of The Week: Halloween Edition
Why so serious?
6. That’s Using Your Head(s)
This can’t possibly feel good. Just a guess.
7. Sad Player Of The Week: Drew Brees Edition
8. Let’s All Stare At Tom Brady’s Mutant Hand
WHO NEEDS KNUCKLES? NOT THOMAS EDWARD PATRICK BRADY.
9. Your Weekly Reminder That Football Is A Violent And Dangerous Sport
When the WWE comes to the NFL.
10. The Most Excited Jaguars Fans…
Are 4,271 miles away from Jacksonville. Well done, London.
11. Teamwork Wins Championships
No need to practice the tip drill this week. The Patriots secondary has this down cold.
We’ve all been there, Miami coaches.
13. Best Job, Best Effort, No Catch
So close, Scott Chandler. Keep reaching for your dreams (and the ball).
Eighteen hits! Sucks that the Redskins offensive line never showed up today.
15. Matt Barkley, NFL Quarterback*
* Only in the sense that he played in an actual NFL game today. Beyond that fact, eh, not really.
16. Pierre Garcon Can Jump Higher Than You
A dark horse contender for Catch of the Year. The fullest extension and ball control while falling backwards. The judges give it a 9.8.
17. This Is The Longest Touchdown Run In Raiders History
Goodbye, Bo Jackson. Terrelle Pryor just bumped you from this particular record with a 93-yard rushing score on the first play from scrimmage.
18. So You Think Lance Can Dance
As you do, Lance Moore. As you do.
19. Fantasy Sleeper Of The Week: Marvin Jones Edition
To the 0.4% of ESPN fantasy football team owners who started Cincy’s Marvin Jones (122 receiving yards, four TDs) at wide receiver today, please tell us what lottery numbers to play this week. (Thanks!)
20. Kansas City Chiefs Undefeated Status: INTACT
A 23-17 win over the Browns moves the Chiefs to 8-0 and HALFWAY TO AN UNDEFEATED SEASON. They have a road game in Buffalo next Sunday before a bye week. Then, it’s a trip to Denver that could help decide the AFC West division crown.
21. They Know Not What They Do
The wave! Unless the Brits were purposely trolling American sports fans with this, we need to have a quick chat about in-stadium etiquette. *pulls up a chair*
22. The Precise Moment John Elway Knew He Had The Redskins Beat
We see you, John.
23. Your Weekly Reminder That Football Is A Violent And Dangerous Sport, Part 2
There was no flag on this play. Goodbye, Kirk Cousins.