2. Football Follies: Cleveland Edition
Well, they didn’t let Jacksonville score a TD on this. So there’s that.
3. A Pass To Nowhere
Why, Weeden, why?
4. Matt Cassel Will Run You Down, Dammit
Do not even think of scoring after you intercept one of Cassel’s passes. HE WILL CHASE YOU.
5. Quite Possibly The Saddest Pass In NFL History
Mike Glennon, you are magnificent. Never change, buddy.
6. Where Basic Training Comes In Handy
A military-style crawl to signify a first down. Moreno had himself quite the day.
7. Confessions Of A Sad, Sad Quarterback
They’re no Moreno tears. Maybe on the inside.
8. Dude, Where’s My Sword?
This guy. All day long.
9. Vernon Davis, Gazelle
He wasn’t done yet.
10. Vernon Davis, Gazelle: OH, THE PAIN
The agony. THE AGONY.
11. Vernon Davis, Gazelle: THE RETURN
Phew, he’s OK.
12. Does Adrian Peterson Dream Of Electric Sheep?
He simply is not human. What even was that move?
13. Sorry Houston, You’ve Been Chopped
DOWN GOES BRADY. Well, just this once, and the Patriots did win the game, but this guy is a True Football Fan™.
14. Now Presenting The Most Insufferable TV Show In History
Two guys, all the smarm.
15. Coat Of The Week: Texans Edition
Somehow, it works.
16. Grab Your Towel, Don’t Panic
It’s 42, Kellen Clemens. Trust me.
17. The Shadows Know
Nothing like a crisp December afternoon game in San Francisco to just completely screw with your senses. (How’s that Levi’s Stadium coming along?)
18. Someone Didn’t Hear That Movember Is Over
Rollie Fingers, Matt Cassel is not.
19. Tom Brady’s Dammit Of The Week
Never gets old.
20. Someone Dropped His Smile Somewhere
Get it? It’s because Stevan Ridley was benched for fumbling so much. … OK, moving on!
21. Hat Of The Week: Colts Bro Edition
You know he wears that hat everywhere, just hoping people tell him how cool it is.
22. Alshon Jeffrey Just Melted Your Brain
Good gravy, what a catch.
23. High Fives For Everyone
You have to admire Cordarrelle Patterson’s tenacity. He does not give up.
24. Pun Of The Week: Panthers Edition
We see what you did there.
25. Don’t Turn Around
Just keep walking, Matt Schaub. Eyes forward. … OK, NOW START RUNNING.
26. The Eck Loves D
For future reference, 1988 Dennis Eckersley is alive and well and rooting for the Colts. This info may come in handy one day*.
- No, it won’t.)
27. Even Kickers Have Fans
The production values aren’t much, but extra fan points for obscurity.
28. You Don’t Give Yourself A Nickname, Ron Rivera
Good luck with that.
29. Especially When The Nickname You Have Is Pretty Great
30. James Develin Won’t Be Denied
His first career TD — and it didn’t come easy.
31. Welp, That’s Never A Good Sign
You know, when you accidentally rip your dang sign.
32. That’s All, Folks
Take us home, Curt Menefee. What a weird day.
- A University of Cincinnati officer has been charged with murder for shooting Samuel Dubose, an unarmed black man.
- Regulators are looking into allegations of "deceptive or unfair" marketing practices at the University of Phoenix.
- Mullah Omar, the Taliban's reclusive leader, died more than two years ago, Afghan officials say. The Taliban hasn't commented.