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Updated on Aug 8, 2020. Posted on Aug 2, 2020

30 Of The Best TV Comebacks And Retorts Of All Time

"The god of what? Bad home perms?"

Recently, we asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us their favorite insults from TV shows. There were SO many, and a lot of the best ones were actually comebacks!

Warner Bros.

WARNING: Spoilers ahead!

Because of this, I have decided to compile a list of people's favorite TV comebacks and retorts. Enjoy!

The WB

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

1. When Azula reminded Long Feng of his place in Avatar: The Last Airbender:

Long Feng says "You've beaten me at my own game" and Azula responds "Don't flatter yourself, you were never even a player"
Nickelodeon / Via pinterest.com

2. When Laura told Urkel he reminded her of bugs on Family Matters:

Urkel asks if Laura thought of him while camping and Laura responds, "Yeah, every time I used the bug spray"

3. When Zack took the perfect opportunity to make a pun on The Suite Life of Zack & Cody:

Cody says "Oh no! The box said it would be a honey mist auburn!" and Zack replies "Well, honey, you missed auburn big time!"
Disney Channel / Via Twitter: @kristeevetter

4. When Niles seized an opportunity to insult CeCe on The Nanny:

CeCe says her eggs are dried up and Niles responds, "The gene pool is saved!"
CBS / Via me.me

danae9

5. When Chandler made a good point on Friends:

Ross is playing bagpipes and Monica says, "Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!" And Chandler responds, "Why is your family Ross?!"

6. When Penny had the best retort on The Big Bang Theory:

Sheldon asks Amy to suppress her libido and she suggests thinking about him
CBS / Via pinterest.com

7. When Don told Michael how he really felt on Mad Men:

Michael says, “You know, I feel really sorry for you” and Don replies, “I don’t think about you at all"
AMC / Via reddit.com

8. When Sherlock fired back at a man who called him a psychopath on Sherlock:

A man calls Sherlock a psychopath and he responds, "High functioning sociopath. With your number"
BBC / Via buzzfeed.com

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9. When Nick ate some of Ruth's sandwich and Cece was NOT happy about it on New Girl:

Nick says he doesn't have her phone because he's not a fisherman's vest and Cece says, "No, what you are is the human equivalent of the crack between two couch cushions"
Fox

10. When Paris had the perfect response to a dumb question on Gilmore Girls:

Someone asks, "Is it raining?" and Paris replies, "No, it's national baptism day. Tie your tubes, idiot"
The WB / Via pinterest.com

11. When Leslie went a little too far responding to Ben on Parks and Recreation:

Ben says, "It's a white flag and you may as well start waving it right now, Leslie!" and Leslie replies, "The only thing I will be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother!"
NBC / Via pinterest.com

rohasi

12. When Will had the perfect response to Carlton's question on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air:

Carlton asks why Will doesn't act like an adult and Will responds, "Why don't you look like one?"
NBC

13. When Selina called Kent worse than Stalin on Veep:

Kent says, "I can't airbrush history, ma'am. I'm not Stalin" and Selena responds, "No, that's true. You're not. You don't have a tenth of his charm"
HBO / Via reddit.com

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14. When Wuntch called Holt's insult unoriginal and he clapped back on Brooklyn Nine-Nine:

Holt offers Wuntch a seat to "take some weight off [her] cloven hooves" and Wuntch responds, "Calling me the devil? How original, Raymond." And Holt says, "Actually, I was calling you a goat, you goat"

15. And when Wuntch tried to brag about her office and Holt turned it into a new opportunity to insult her:

Wuntch says, "How do you like my new office? 20th floor" and Holt replies, "Yes, I never thought I'd see you this high without a broom under you"
Fox / Via pinterest.com

jadem6

16. When Issa asked Kelly if she ever listened to herself and she was ready with a response on Insecure:

"All the time, I have a podcast"

17. When Alex had the perfect response every time to Cristina's complaints on Grey's Anatomy:

Cristina asks why Alex is defending Teddy when she went to state school and Alex says he did too. Then Christina says she's skinny and blonde and Alex says Meredith is too. And then Cristina says she's annoying and Alex says so is Cristina
ABC / Via pinterest.com

18. When Sue was not here for Will's anger on Glee:

Will says, "Hey, Sylvester, I’m talking to you" and Sue replies, "Oh, hey, buddy. I thought I smelled failure"

19. When Elektra read a neighbor who threatened to call the cops on Pose:

"Good. Because you should be arrested for showing yourself in that ratty old house dress. Now run home Wonder Bread and take your ugly dog too! This ain't the yellow brick road"
FX

20. When Cersei called Olenna a name, so she did so right back on Game of Thrones:

Cersei says, "Ah yes, the famously tart-tongued Queen of Thorns" and Olenna replies, "And the famous tart, Queen Cersei"
HBO / Via me.me

linzmc

21. When Tyrion gently corrected Lord Janos on Game of Thrones:

Lord Janos says he will not have his honor questioned by an imp and Tyrion replies, "I'm not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. I'm denying its existence"
HBO

22. When Titus was not here for heteronormative standards on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt:

 Jacqueline says she's going to give it to him straight and Titus responds, "Gross"
Netflix

23. When a cashier questioned Jen's purchases and Jen fired back on Dead to Me:

The cashier asks if Jen really needs eight bottles of wine and Jen replies, "Oh, I'm sorry, are you the wine sheriff? Because I am the dick police and you have the right to remain fucking silent"
Netflix

24. When Annie threw Jeff's own insult back at him on Community:

Jeff tells Annie she's just a good grade in a tight sweater and Annie replies that Jeff is just a bad grade in a tight sweater

25. When Glory said she was a god and Spike had the perfect retort on Buffy the Vampire Slayer:

Glory says, "I am a god" and Spike replies, "The god of what? Bad home perms?"
The WB / Via pinterest.pt

26. When Karofsky said he could take Santana, Blaine, and Kurt, and Santana gave him the lowdown on Glee:

Karofsky says he can take "a couple of queers and a girl" and Santana says that she can crack one of his nuts or he can walk away and live to be a douchebag another day, then says, "Oh, and also? I have razor blades hidden in my hair"
Fox

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27. When Britta claimed she wasn't a buzzkill and Troy had this retort on Community:

"Yeah, that doesn't really cover it. You're more of a fun vampire, because you don't suck blood, you just suck"
NBC

28. When Shay described Frankie's half-assed apology on Degrassi: Next Class:

"'I'm sorry you're offended' is like shooting someone in the leg and saying, 'I'm sorry you're getting blood all over your pants'"

29. When Violet refused to be called wrong on Downton Abbey:

Isobel says, “How you hate to be wrong," and Violet replies, “I wouldn’t know. I’m not familiar with the sensation"

30. And finally, when George thought of the perfect comeback for Reilly's insult, but then Reilly one-upped him on Seinfeld:

Reilly says, "The ocean called. They're running out of shrimp" and George replies, "Well, the jerk store called, and they're running out of you." Then Reilly says, "What's the difference? You're their all-time bestseller"
NBC

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